Ray Allen, Carleton Fisk, Bobby Orr, Johnny Damon, & Benedict Arnold

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Boston Celtics fans are joining the betrayed and benighted fans of the Red Sox and Patriots. The Benedict Arnold Syndrome has hit the Green Team. Not since the great Revolutionary War has Boston suffered such a turncoat like British hero Benedict Arnold.

Who would have guessed Ray Allen would leave Boston for less money?

Not since Carleton Fisk betrayed the Sox for the Chicago version has there been such a hue and cry. No, wait! There were other hues and worse cries. Bobby Orr left Boston, and Johnny Damon left Boston-and Adam Vinatieri left Boston too.

Why should the vaunted Celtics be left out of the sweepstakes?

Now fans of the most storied of all Boston franchises has their own sob story to add to the what-might-have-been scenario.

Ray Allen did not want to retire in Boston, and he went South where the heat and sunshine would be immediate. In that sense Ray turned out to be a Sunshine Patriot and a sunshine Celtic.

Forgiveness was never an option for Orr, Fiske, Damon, or Vinatieri. They left, and that was the end of it. Cry into your beer all you wanted. They were gone.

Money is the great equalizer, and perhaps in a generation Ray Allen will be looked upon with more kindness, or perhaps will be regarded with more tolerance. He may be forgiven if the Heat never win another championship.

As for the Celtics and their fans, we think of the end of the great novel and play, The Bad Seed, when most of the cast has been murdered except the child prodigy who did the killing.

To cheer themselves up, the rest of the cast spoke the words: "Well, we still have Rondo." Or words to that effect.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more