LeBron James Becomes the New Frankenstein Monster

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Friday, 8 June 2012

LeBron James desperately needed to have a Michael Jordan moment. Instead, he had a Frankenstein's Monster moment.

Having become a figure of folly and absurdity, he took the stage to turn the Absurd world of basketball on ESPN on its ear.

Single-handed performances are always a good adhesive to spread over the foundation of a championship career. Without it, nothing will stick.

Frankenstein needed pseudoscience, and LeBron needs pseudo-analysis.

Most of his severe critics will note that LeBron is merely a good-hearted person, often the fall guy for the misdeeds of others, like teammates or even a mother who tests his patience.

LeBron was written off as a choker and a guy whose destiny was the eternal loss. He was the final hanging victim who was turned into the Creature about to run amok.

We must suppose that whatever his sensitivity levels, LeBron found enough strength and determination to overcome all negative energy around him. He was a monster, something removed from normal people.

The disparate body parts seemed sewn together by a master seamstress.

After his foolhardy declarations of endless seasons of championships, he finds the road a harder one to travel nowadays. It will take more moments than Michael Jordan amassed to overcome the self-tailored electrodes in his neck.

Coming back to life after being declared dead is more often than not the condition of a zombie, not really a state to be admired, but more likely to be feared.

LeBron James may scare us with a performance from the other side, eschewing all the skills of a Sixth Sense, but he must now make a career out of taking the dead parts and re-energizing them. Only Frankenstein's Monster has succeeded in this.

Galvanization was a process where electricity gave some new life to those who seemed beyond living again. If LeBron has any role model, it is not MJ, but Frankenstein's Creature.

LeBron may be able to terrorize the countryside and the Celtics during Game 6, but we recall that the media with pitchforks and torches drove the Creature to a Game 7 date with destiny in a flaming windmill. There his season ended (until the sequel).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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