Written by Menominee

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Liverpool, once the most successful soccer team in history, are to up sticks from their Merseyside, England home and move to Boston, Massachusetts. Owner John W Henry, announcing the news at a packed press conference on Thursday morning, said the move will herald (see what we did there?) an exciting new phase of Premier League Soccer expansion.

Liverpool, managed by long-time Scottish curmudgeon Kenneth Mathieson Dalglish MBE and peopled by popular soccer characters such as Stevie G (Gerrard) and Loony A (Carroll), are set to compete simultaneously in Major League Soccer and the English Premier League.

John W Henry, dressed all in Liverpool red and yellow, did a little dance to demonstrate his enthusiasm for the project. Later he sat down and ate a clam. A media spokesperson said all kinds of interesting stuff could be anticipated but he/she declined to give any further details.

Malcolm Glazer, bearded owner of soccer's most over-hyped organization, Manchester United, was said to be monitoring events closely from his mobile home.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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