R.E.M's New Album
R.E.M rock band is to release a new album titled..."SONGS TO SLIT YOUR WRISTS BY". This will be the first music album ever to carry a government health warning. Sales expected to go through the roof.
written by Auntie Matter, 04 August 2016
Jimmy Savile Inquiry
The Jimmy Savile investigation now in its fifth year "will continue for another five years", said chief investigator Sir Hiram Pike..."until all the main suspects die off and it all blows over".
written by Auntie Matter, 04 August 2016
Melania's New Book
Melania Trump has just released her book... on "landing a billionaire". It is titled... "How to go to Bed a Tramp and Wake up a Trump".
written by Auntie Matter, 04 August 2016
Now Here Are the News Headlines
Jesinta Campbell shows off killer abs.
Donald Trump makes another bid not to get elected.
Britney Spears unveils new dance routine.
Baghdad bomb annihilates at least 215 people.
written by Auntie Matter, 04 August 2016
What is Insanity?
Listening to Corbyn and Smith debate Nuclear War on television as if it was a movie they saw last week and didn't particularly like.
written by Auntie Matter, 04 August 2016
Melania Trump Offers...
To be first illegal immigrant deported when her husband takes office.
written by pinkwalrus, 04 August 2016
Three Circles of Hell
Ring 1: Being Trump's Enemy
Ring 2: Being Trump's Ally
Ring 3: Being Trump's Campaign Staff
written by pinkwalrus, 04 August 2016
Pick the Reason Trump Will Drop Out
1. My golf game is suffering
2. My businesses need my attention
3. The press is out to get me
4. People don't believe in Santa anymore
5. The election is rigged
written by pinkwalrus, 04 August 2016
Trump Campaign Strategy Revealed
I'm rubber, you're glue.
Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.
written by pinkwalrus, 04 August 2016
