Man Sues Hardees
broken toilet seat suddenly shifted sideways while he was wiping and he suddenly became a eunuch!
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Manson Nearby Cellmates Want to Move
Cellmates close to Charles Manson have asked to be moved once again. "There are all these voices in there singing, 'We Are Family' all night long."
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Bansky Again?
Both plastic and surgeons will see what they can do about the Groucho glasses, nose & mustache placed by Bansky on all four Presidents at Mt. Rushmore during the night.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Big Celebration
President Obama says that this year's 4th of July celebration will be held in Paris.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Lincoln Had Two Noses
Abraham Lincoln may have not been two-faced but he did have two noses. Or at least he does now. A 100-MPH Wind gust Just added a second nose. Meanwhile, Jefferson doesn't have one.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Chorus of Israeli voices renews calls for strike.
AS Iran may have actually finished it's nuke program first phase.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1045
Snoops: Humans and hyenas are the only males who lose their erections when laughed at during sex.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
President Obama Joins Most Popular List
Along with Donald Truck, Uncle Scrooge McDuck, Putin, Rush Limbaugh. Votes came from the United Idiots of American Political Group.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1044
Snoops: According to the latest census records, there is no one in America with the once popular name of Yankee Doodle.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1043
Snoops: Much to his surprise and that of Soupy Sales, in 1961 he was hit in the face with a cow pie.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1042
Snoops: The average Yeti was ten-foot tall and ate with a ladle instead of a spoon.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1041
Snoops: 68% of all Kentucky students drop out before graduation, even in home schools.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1040
Snoops: Many early cobblers who were single would fix lady's shoes for free if they allowed him to lick their feet and suck on their toes.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Another Putin Critic Living In Exile Commits Suicide
Yep! One-hundreth critics commits suicide by ricin planted in food and drink.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Obama: Iran One Year Away From Building a Nuke
That's about the 100th assessment. Either they have it already or can't finish it because of virus infection. Everything else is a guess.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
UPDATE: Buffett's Billion Dollar Bracket Challenge Spoiled On 2nd Day Of Tourney...
Several top Basketball teams already upset!
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
OBAMA MEDIA Mocks Drudge for Paying OBAMACARE TAX.
As usual, media is wrong. Self employees must begin their tax liability after first quarter.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Arctic Blast to Grip Midwest, East.
March 22 and Global Warming marches on!
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Could USA Face Cruise Missile Threat from Gulf of Mexico?
Many Dems as well as GOP ask if Kennedy backbone could be dug up and planted in President obama.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
No Garden At The White House
"Nope", says First Lady. "This year we paint the White House a nice shade of Lavender."
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Two Men Shot To Death
Detroit: Two men who were protesting last weeks police shooting of two unarmed men were shot to death by police. Both victims were unarmed. A unarmed protest march is planned for next week.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
1,500-year-old Antarctic Moose brought back to life
I'm sorry. That should have been 1,500-year-old Antarctic moss brought back to life
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1039
Snoops: The eye chart you try to read at your opthamologist is actually Klingon for Hairy Buttface! If you listen closely, you'll hear a snicker sometimes.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1038
Snoops: Robert Frost had a brother named Jack Frost who gave Robert the cold shoulder for becoming a lowly poet.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1037
Snoops: The great comedian W.C. Fields collected toenails. "Ah yes, over an inch across. Mary Pickford will be jealous."
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1036
Snoops: Oddly enough, the puppeteer Shari Lewis died from choking on a Lamb Chop.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1035
Snoops: During a 1902 farting contest in Ark, a hillbilly blew a ten-foot tapeworm out his pants leg. He received a special prize & kept the tapeworm in a jar to show guests who came over for dinner.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1034
Snoops: Many fans of Art Garfunkle of Simon & Garfunkle to change his name. "I have", he told them. "My real name is Arthur Carbuncle."
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Today in History #3
In 1933, during Prohibition, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure to make wine and beer containing up to 3.2 percent alcohol legal, and ordered three hidden bottles of wine for his meal.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Today In History #2
In 1820, U.S. naval hero Stephen Decatur was killed in a duel with Commodore James Barron near Washington, D.C. The duel was fought with light sabers.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Today In History
In 1312, Pope Clement V issued a papal bull ordering the dissolution of the Order of the Monty Python.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Justin Bieber burns down White House
President: This time you've gone a little too far, young man.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
March Madness To Cause Riots
Both winners and losers burn their couches in celebration, frustration!
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Underestimates?
Close to 100,000 spy cameras hid all over the United States. Rand Paul says that is an understatement. Paul advises a well-placed rock at the illegal cameras.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Driver given red light camera ticket for car he doesn't own, has never driven, from a city he's never visited
Fine will double if he doesn't pay the bill he doesn't owe if he waits long enough.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Sarah Michelle Gellar Slams Kim Kardashian's Vogue Cover: "I'm Canceling My Vogue Subscription"
"Just like I cancelled Mad Magazine with me and Alfred on the cover."
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Miley Cyrus shares pictures of a bad sunburn on her bare chest and big bruise on her butt
Twerking and beach bikinis don't go together!
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
'NOAH' REVIEW: 'Aggressive Environmentalism'.
No mention of God but great special effects. Predicted to do well in Colorado and Washington.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Kenya legalizes polygamy without wife's consent.
No big news here. After all, the President has over 2,000 relatives!
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Venice votes to cut ties with Italy in online poll.
Quebec, Northern Ireland keeping close eye on situations.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Putin Eyes South America
"Obama is not going to interfere. He's already shown that."
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Biden struggles with teleprompter
"I'll have to check with the president on knowing exactly our positions on anything."
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
Obama to meet AGAIN with tech CEOs on 'privacy'.
And what privacy would that be, Mr. President? Freedom of speech? Political enemies?
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
NAVY TRACKS CIVILIAN TRAFFIC TICKETS.!
Arent they supposed o be tracking Russian & Chinese warships? Why has the White House attacked own country worse than enemies?
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
MICHELLE O to China, Human Rights Are Off the Table
I guess they have a few bowls of rice a day, get to breathe smog.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
........."pack of three Danno!"
Hawaii law lets cops have sex with prostitutes.....Hawaii Five-Ho?
written by Herrdoktorfox, 22 March 2014
...............dope off the rope.
Pope Francis makes the Mafia an offer they can't refuse;"Repent or you gonna go to hell!"
written by Herrdoktorfox, 22 March 2014
Vice President Biden Announces Next Stop in World Tour
Vilnius-Ol'Joe was fresh off stage from leading some Lithuanians in Karaoke when he spouted that his next stop would be Fredonia in company with the Marx Brothers. Again, Joe was sent to a "time-out."
written by Trinculoman, 22 March 2014
Senators McCain and Graham Propose Swap to End Ukraine Crisis
Inspired by swaps done during the Cold War,they dangled a deal to Putin to trade Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi for the deannexation of Crimea, 50 cases of vodka, 50 cases of Beluga caviar,& M Sharapova.
written by Trinculoman, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1033
Snoops: Before PETA, football teams often cheated on the cat flip. "We'll take 'on his feet'".
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1032
Snoops: It was Nancy Reagan that first came up with the saying, "I acts like butter wouldn't melt in her ass" about an earlier first lady.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1031
Snoops: For some reason as yet unknown, people born on February 29th never live to be very old.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1030
Snoops: It's amazing but the NFL has lost a lot of fine football players who didn't try out because they couldn't dance in the end zone.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1029
Snoops: In all the records of divorces in court records, it's the husband who winds up with the whoopee cushion 100% of the time.
written by Bureau, 22 March 2014
