Daily Express reassures readers they have enough Princess Diana stories to last until the next decade
More soon...
written by Patrick Parkinson, 14 March 2014
Terror Groups Raise Stakes
Al-Qaeda threatens to help speed up global warming!
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Arizona mass murderer gets 9 life sentences
Head will be kept to serve whole sentence should matching bodies be found.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
U.S. Troops Capture al-Qaeda #97
US troops announced that they had captured al-Qaeda as he was driving a taxi in New Jersey!
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Wanker!!
The body of a nude man was washed up on Cornwall beach with a sock stuffed in his mouth........somebody obviously got carried away when he cried "sock it to me baby!"
written by Herrdoktorfox, 14 March 2014
Fossils of Pygmy Dinosaurs Discovered
Elevator shoes were also found at the site.
written by Gail Farrelly, 14 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1020
Snoops: Even though we have all heard about a room full of monkeys given time could type a Shakespeare play. But it is not true. If any consolation, humans can't do it either.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1019
Snoops: A tribe in Louisiana apparently misunderstood and nailed a horse turd over their hallway entrance thinking it brought good luck.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1018
Snoops: It's been proven that monkeys absolutely hate it when he overhears a human say anything about people monkeying around.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1017
Snopes: Although apes can grow to a good size, none have ever reached that of King Kong. Thus far, twenty foot high has been their best.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
White House: Obamacare Working
Just a little slow. Might have six month wait for a new heart, liver, kidney, nurse.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Humans Spotted
Yarm Ney is the first Bigfoot to spot humans this year. Yarm says they were in the woods in the Ozark Mountains and apparently mating.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
OBAMA: You Might Lose Your Doctor.
"And maybe your nearest hospital might be another hundred miles away in another state plus the high deductibles. But, other than that..."
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
A Powerful Typhoon Strikes Australia
The Aussie government is reporting that over 600 kangaroos are now living in New Guinea.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Jay Leno Isn't Just Sitting At Home
Jay Leno was seen at The La Brea Tar Pits asking visitors, "Hey, I'm Jay Leno, remember me?"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
The White House Reaches Out To Illegal Aliens
Vice-President Biden says plans are underway for the biggest Piñata Party in the history of Piñata Parties.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Russia Has Banned All Websites That Are Critical of The Kremlin
An inside source gives the number of sites as 2,902,871 sites (so far).
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
The Administration Has Cooked The Books On Deportation
An inside source at the White House has said that since President Obama has been in office no one has been deported.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Scientistic Breakthrough
After finding many dinosaur bones at the foot of a huge cliff, scientists now believe the Brontosaurus became extinct after a few scales turned into feathers and they tried flying off the cliffs.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Irish Man Gives Up Drinking!
"I've given my word to the Misses. No more alcohol until St. Patrick's Day!"
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
New Clinton White House Records to Be Released
Admit that 25,000 of 30,000 somehow lost or stolen.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Blogger Mom Shocked to Find Her Photo on Porn Site
Regrets taking all those photos of herself. Thought they were safe on computer.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1016
Snoops: Baby elephants are clumsy with their trunks and sometimes drop their dads right in their tracks by grabbing his testicles instead of his tail.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1015
Snoops: The earliest plants on the earth were blue-green algae and single-celled bacteria. Often there were major wars between them.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1015
Snoops: Dinosaur remains have been found in Central America. The fossils were discovered last month. Female Crocs and alligators object, saying they are all that old and certainly not fossils.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1014
Snoops: Penguins are the only birds that cannot fold their wings. "It wouldn't look proper with the tux, anyway", says Professor Smartass.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
A new cold war? Why Crimea should matter to Americans
Why should Korea, Vietnam matter to Americans?
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Military fugitive who escaped federal prison in 1977 arrested in South Florida
"I'm way overdue for some good R&R", he tells reporters.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Deadbeat dads get a second chance
After given two weeks of therapy using a dead horse!
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Rock star Pope shakes up the Vatican
Pope Francis shows his priests and bishops how to twerk!
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
America's solar power future?
Many say we won't need it as Global Warming should take care of all our heating sources!
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Kerry Raises The Stakes in Ukraine
Pisses higher on a wall than Putin did in Russia yesterday!
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Big Mess in Times Square
People watching large screen on the street saw a magician on Good Morning America and thought they were chickens. "Worse than after New Years" say street cleaners.
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Police: 3 who attacked couple went to wrong home
"They're drug addicts. They went to their own home and beat up their own family, by mistake."
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Jittery customers run on banks in Crimea.
Running on banks and falling into the rivers a sure sign of panic!
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Russia Bans Several Websites Critical of Gov't
In other words, all of them!
written by Bureau, 14 March 2014
Flower Pot Man Dies
Benn, the flower pot man, has died. He had not been in the garden recently which has been pretty drab without him.
written by j.w., 14 March 2014
Rep Sheila Jackson Lee Provides Additional History Lesson
After her clarification that US Constitution is 400 yrs old, Rep Lee went on to declaim:Texas is still an independent republic;Geo Washington is buried in Grant's Tomb;&Obama is Prince-Ruler for Life.
written by Trinculoman, 14 March 2014
Snow, Snow, and More Friggin Snow
A Pennsylvania meteorologist is predicting that the sky could run out of snow within 8 days.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
The English Channel Is Going Down
Oceanic scientists report that the English Channel is losing about 9 gallons of seawater per year.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
President Abraham Lincoln's Wife Had A Strange Quirk
A new book on first lady Mary Todd Lincoln states that she hated Lincoln logs.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
But The Name Washington Redskins Is Okay?
A tribe of Cherokees living in the USA want the name of the Red Sea to be changed to The Native-American Sea.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Gandhi - The Picky Eater?
Mahatma Gandhi never admited that he was anorexic, but everyone around him definitely knew it.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Cincinnati Says Good Riddance To A Sticky Situation
The city of Cincinnati has outlawed duct tape saying that it is nothing but a germ magnet.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Russia Is In The Market For A Piece of Central America
Panama has told Russia that they are not going to sell them the Panama Canal no matter how much they offer.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Joan "The Queen of Mean" Rivers Socks It To Susan Boyle
Susan Boyle recently said she's still waiting for her blue prince in shining armor to show up. Joan Rivers said that with her age and looks she will have to settle for a joker in a burlap jumpsuit.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Whoa! And Her Second Choice Was...
A woman in Phoenix, Arizona lost 212 pounds after she had her lips stapled.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
One Of Those Don't Ask Situations
Adam Lambert admits that he recently had to go to a med clinic to have some glitter removed from his anal region.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
A Wildfire Hits Idaho
State officials warn that 1.3 million potatotes are in danger of being fried.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
A 6.3 Magnitude Quake Strikes Japan
Early reports state that 7 saki factories and 119 camera shops were damaged.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Paris Hilton - The Original Blonde Space Cadet
Paris Hilton went into a Beverly Hills pet shop and told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet Monkey Wrench.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
The Very Rich David Letterman
David Letterman is so rich that he actually owns about 25 percent of his home state of Indiana.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
Paul McCartney's Dog
Paul McCartney named his very first pet dog "Hitler" after his high school geography teacher Mr. Hitler Wickingwood
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
MH370 has been found
Missing Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 has been located and found to have landed successfully on the island of Madagascar where the passengers embarked and were included in a new musical production.
written by whatinthe world, 14 March 2014
