Red Arrows safe as long as Cameron is PM Downing Street say
Jobsite report that 12 highly qualified pilots giving their address as RAF Scampton signed up soon after this announcement.
written by John_L, 20 February 2013
Economic Ins and Outs
Former Sen. Pete Domenici of New Mexico joins ranks of Republicans to father children outside of marriage. Hey, if their policy won't expand the middle class, at least their personal escapades will!
written by The San Francisco Onion, 20 February 2013
Aiming for the Center
Republican Joe Heck announces support for universal background checks for firearm purchases, suggests "thoughtful discussion." Background check surprisingly confirms Heck is really a Republican.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 20 February 2013
Job Creator at Work
Mitt Romney to appear at Conservative Political Action Conference next month. Big event marks return to political scene, so casting call goes out for "supporters and friends" to be bused in.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 20 February 2013
Flying or grounded?
Axminster carpets laid to rest after 250 years..roll on!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 20 February 2013
London is officially a multi-culti majority!
No more "holy ghost", egg & bacon, pie & mash and a cuppa "Rosy Lee". London has a multi-culti majority as white indigenous Londoners run to the hills; Cotswolds preferably (if they can afford it)!
written by unknown
Wrong Time for Obama to Drive
40,000 motorists protesting the new Keystone Pipeline are mad at Pres. Obama because he played golf with oil execs in Florida instead of breathing their car exhaust at the Mall in Washington.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 20 February 2013
Countdown to Sequester on "Bar Time"
House Speaker John Boehner blames sequester on "Obama's flailed leadershift," then throws up on microphone. "Here's to Obama!" he shouted, finishing off another pint of rum.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 20 February 2013
A Friend of Hummus
Chuck Hagel can't get enough of that wonderful spread made from chickpeas blended with tahini, olive oil, lemon juice and garlic. In fact, he says, it is popular throughout the Middle East.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 20 February 2013
Fit to Be Tied
Rush Limbaugh suggests background checks on news media to deny mentally ill access to public airwaves. Later, surprised to find psychiatrist, two large men waiting outside studio with strait jacket.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 20 February 2013
Horse warning offered
New food products being released on the market must now carry a warning: "may contain traces of horse meat". This goes for canned vegetables, ice cream, yoghurt, herbs and spices, even deodorant.
written by whatinthe world, 20 February 2013
