Wayne Rooney is embarrassed when Chico drops to his knees!
Chicharito, Man Utd's super-shooter always drops to his knees before kick off and Rooney finds it quite embarrassing so now he wants his team mates to join in? Solidarity is better than a red face!
written by unknown
Tiger Woods' knee-trembler puts him out of tournament
Someone shouted 'In the hole!' when Woods stood next to shapely blond...
written by pinxit, 12 May 2011
QPR 2,500 to 1 to win premiership next season
QPR are 2500 to 1 to win the premiership next season.
To those of you who do not understand betting..
if you bet £10...you lose £10.
written by Rebel Not Taken, 12 May 2011
Computer Pile Up on M25
Computer traffic has been piled up on the M25, reports the AA, meaning that some drivers are losing patience and turning off at the first opportunity.
written by j.w., 12 May 2011
Eagle eyes
I can appreciate why women are called birds. My wife is always in a flap about something and she has got eyesight like an eagle. She sees dirt and dust where there is none for to the average hu man.
written by j.w., 12 May 2011
Obama's 2nd Longest 40 Minutes
It's revealed that President Obama's second longest 40 minutes was taking his then new bride shoe shopping.
written by Ellie James, 12 May 2011
Man Kills His Own Siamese Twin
Police don't know whether to charge for murder, suicide (or attempted). The insurance company is not sure whether to pay as a death or dismemberment, or to whom as the killer was the beneficiary.
written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
Bottles Of Juergens Extra Dry Body Lotion Tainted
Disgruntled male employees filled over 2000 bottles with their own semen. They were so chapped by the time they were done, that they considered renaming the product Jerkin Extra Dry.
written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
Who's To Blame For The California Earthquakes?
It's not the people's fault. It's not the government's fault. It's the San Andreas Fault.
written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
Monopoly Money Counterfeiters Arrested
The crooks were caught printing fake monopoly money in an effort to put a hotel on Park Place. The court sentenced them to "go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200."
written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
Cannibalistic Vegetarians On The Loose
A group of vegetarians broke into the London Hospital coma wing last night and ate most of the patients. One was caught and confessed that while they were eating people, they only ate the vegetables.
written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
FEMA Goofed
FEMA seeking repayment from 5,500 people involved in 129 natural disasters that included floods, tornados and Hurricane Katrina. A FEMA review of records showed the wrong screening criteria were used!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
US Education System has Failed
Rabid environmentalists would remove 4 hydro-electric generation dams on Snake & Columbia Rivers to increase salmon population. Talk about not being able to tell your ass from a hole in the ground!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
It's Called Justice
Sons of OBL accuse the US of killing an unarmed man, shooting his family members and disposing of his body in the sea. What about those 3,000 innocent people daddy killed in the World Trade Center?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
They're Off
President Obama has a wide lead over potential Republican rivals for the presidential election of 2012. However, the other thoroughbreds are just getting into the starting gate to begin the race!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
At the White House
The WH stands by a decision to invite the rapper Common to participate in a poetry event. At the next WH book reading, President Hugo Chavez (VE) will read excerpts from his book, bashing capitalism!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
Going Green on the Cheap
Many small US cities cannot afford to establish "green" building codes in the currently bad economic environment. City councils are authorizing citizens to paint structures bigger than a shed green!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
Save the Whitefish
Environmentalists are upset over Mississippi River flooding dispersing Louisiana Whitefish, also known in other places as Coney Island Whitefish!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
Obama Objects
Senate Budget Committee (controlled by Democrats) wants to add 10% surtax to Democratic politicians salaries that espouse superficial grandiose political rhetoric. President Obama threatens a veto!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
What Maryland's Governor Didn't Say
MD's governor said "And we helped students from our taxpaying families achieve the American Dream of an affordable college education." He was referring to instate tuition rates for illegal immigrants!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
Presidential Political Shenanigans
President Obama may drop executive order that defense contractors disclose their executives' campaign contributions. It seems that most contributions were from "fat-cat" Democratic left wing liberals!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 May 2011
Al-Quida To Hold Bake Sale To Fund Terror
After losing their main sponsor, the terror organization has taken to selling home-made food to raise money. On street corners you can see them holding signs reading "Do Not Bum Us, Buy Our Hummus!"
written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
Dannii Accuses Kylie of Lying About Her
Dannii Minogue has turned on her sister Kylie. In the song "the Locomotion", Kylie claims her little baby sister can do it with ease. "I can't really. It's friggin difficult!", Dannii remarked.
written by Pariah, 12 May 2011
