Pappa Smurf Chokes to death in Restaraunt!!
Restaraunt owner asks "Exactly how were we supposed to tell?"
written by the edgy gerbil, 10 March 2011
Prince Harry Qualifies As Apache Helicopter Pilot
Prince Harry has qualified to become an Apache helicopter pilot. However the Army Air Corps currently have six of the aircraft and it is not known how long it will be before they are scrapped.
written by IN SEINE, 10 March 2011
David Cameron Pulls out of Parliamentary Pancake Race
Earlier this week, the Prime Minister, David Cameron did not take part in the annual Parliamentary pancake race. Obviously he could NOT GIVE A TOSS!
written by IN SEINE, 10 March 2011
Muslim Miss GB refuses to wear a burka at Miss Universe contest!
Miss UK who just happens to be a muslim is being entered for the Miss Universe contest, but she refuses to wear a burka because by only flashing her eyes at the judges she'd have no chance!
written by unknown
Cats Do Not Have Nine Lives
Popular Scientist Denver Colorado, 43, from Cleethorpes University proved another Old Wives tale to be total rubbish when he reversed over next door's cat!
'It's definitely dead' said Denver.
written by Mr Goster, 10 March 2011
Child Eats Yellow Snow
A boy of 11, out playing with his younger sister in the snow commited the cardinal sin and ate some yellow snow.
He felt a bit funny for a bit, but then recovered.
'We did warn him,' said his Mum.
written by Mr Goster, 10 March 2011
Rolling Stone Gathers Moss
At the annual Crinkly Rocker Awards in Leicester Square Kate Moss was walking to the stage in very high heels when she tripped and started to fall. Mick Jagger was on hand and calmly stopped her fall.
written by Mr Goster, 10 March 2011
World's top billionaires too give away everything claim Forbes!
Forbes have announced their latest global top billionaires list, they also announced that they all are about to give away everything including Bill Gates; then we all woke up, this is not Utopia!
written by unknown
Woman fired from Degree for wearing sweat pants
Feeling like it sent the wrong image, Degree the popular deodorant company, fired an employee for wearing sweat pants on Casual Friday.
written by Randy Sandhofer, 10 March 2011
Crayola to release economical "Primary Pack"
Crayola argue that because red, blue and yellow make up the other colors, these 3 are the only ones your underprivileged student needs!
written by Randy Sandhofer, 10 March 2011
Shock as Moore set to play Palin in TV movie
"I'm surprised to have landed the plum part of Michael" said Sir Patrick.
written by pinxit, 10 March 2011
NPR Fundraiser Fired for Slamming Conservatives, Tea Party
Whoopi Goldberg, Michael Moore being considered as replacements.
written by NWNewsmash, 10 March 2011
Rose West takes art course from prison cell
Rose West has begun a 12 week Art course. The tutor has suspiciously disappeared. Prison officers are baffled about the incident as well as the appearance of new tiles on part of Mrs West's floor.
written by st6phen, 10 March 2011
Scouse batteries
Research from Durasell has identified battery buying trends across the UK. "In Liverpool we sell an awful lot of AAA batteries."
written by IainB, 10 March 2011
Vatican uses lent as a tool to tackle child abuse
The Vatican has announced it has asked tempted priests to use lent as a time to distance themselves away from susceptible young juveniles in an attempt to tackle child abuse.
written by st6phen, 10 March 2011
Programmer knocked down by car
He didn't know his Green Cross Code!
written by Mark Devore, 10 March 2011
John Terry Wins Award
Hairdressing News just in, and The Award for Premiership Footballer Worst Haircut of The Year has gone to Chelsea's John Terry.
Judge Terry Blowave said 'It's a right Knife And Fork Job.'
written by Mr Goster, 10 March 2011
Woman Bakes A Cake
In an extraordinary act of friendship, Val Ewables,57, from Dorset baked her friend Marjorie a cake.
'I knew she was coming,' said Val.
written by Mr Goster, 10 March 2011
Chicken lays the same egg seven times in a hurricane
A local farmer with two thumbs on one hand was forced to admit that he deliberately kept the stricken chicken out for too long. Denephew boot is currently trying to grow hot dogs from peas. Help.
written by the edgy gerbil, 10 March 2011
Details of Rooney's new contract revealed
Rooney has agreed that details of the contract he signed can now be revealed. He negotiated well and is pleased to announce that he is delighted with the deal. He is to be paid in goldfish.
written by unknown
Death Penalty Reinstated in Liberal Blue State
Convicted felons will be shot for not paying 5 cents for a plastic supermarket bag, smoking in a car transporting kids less than 8 years old & avoiding a bottle tax by buying sugary soda out of state!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 March 2011
