There were 852 spoof news snippets published in February 2011. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
A Celebrity Breakup in Reverse?
Barbie and Ken may be getting back together. Oy!
written by Gail Farrelly, 05 February 2011
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin are hoping to trademark their names.
written by Gail Farrelly, 05 February 2011
Fez Book
I know a man from Cairo, I met him on Fez Book.
written by victor nicholas, 26 February 2011
Fishy goings on in Birmingham!
Birmingham(UK)health officials have confused people by saying they want their fish'n'chip shops to sell healthier dishes.Do they want them to sell boiled fish'n'chips or stop selling fish completely?
written by Tommy Twinkle, 09 February 2011
New Scientific Study
A new scientific study says that if a person will get up and manually change the TV channel instead of using a remote, he should be locked up somewhere safe where he couldn't hurt anyone..
written by Bureau, 22 February 2011
Ice and Snow in Dallas for Super Bowl Weekend
Rumors that the bad weather was sent there by the NY Jets, just because they didn't make it to the Super Bowl, are unfounded.
written by Gail Farrelly, 05 February 2011
Little Miss Muffet sat on her Tuffet...
Well...isn't that what ALL females 'sit upon'?
written by unknown
Always read the label!
A giggling William Hague said yesterday that crates of so-called chemicals of mass destruction Gaddafi purchased from Britain last year are actually chemicals of MOSS destruction intended for lawns.
written by Tommy Twinkle, 25 February 2011
Sky Atlantic Hacked by Disgrunted and Clever Virgin Users
LONDON - At the HQ of BSkyB, alarm bells were ringing as the Sky Atlantic channel gets hacked by smart-ass Virgin Media users on super-fast broadband. "Suck on our connection speeds Murdoch!"
written by Inhopeless, 07 February 2011
Meaningful Snippet Less Popular than Crappy Snippet
LONDON - As the snippet service registers hits, many intelligent snippets are being outvoted by bland snippets. Many smart writers are unhappy. Boo hoo.
written by Inhopeless, 20 February 2011
Little Babby removed by Children's Protective Services
Little Babby was taken screaming from the arms of his Daddy. CPS said the boy was made to 'dance to his Daddy in order to get a little fishy on a litle dishy and wait for the boat to come in.
written by unknown
Fat Scientists Say Obesity is All In Genes
LONDON - Scientists have found out that obesity is all in genes. The scientists massed (NOT WEIGHED) between 90-140kg, and the results are welcome for many who have been hurt at the bullying.
written by Inhopeless, 02 February 2011
Be Very, Very Leery Of Expensive Wine
With an expiration date.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2011
Down in the dumps and feeling blue at Chelsea.
Chelsea's Didier Drogba says there's never been such a miserable mood at the club - February's always a grey depressing month in England Didier.The daffodils will soon be be out to cheer us all up.
written by Tommy Twinkle, 09 February 2011
Is It Any Wonder Children Are Fat?
Scientists report that breastfeeding mothers can influence what children eat, by what they eat at the time. What do they eat? Pizzas, doughnuts, chocolate biscuits and anything which ends with "do you want fries with that?"
written by IN SEINE, 23 February 2011
APB out on Bobby Shaftoe
Police are frantically looking for Bobby Shaftoe. He failed to return from sea and his fiancee is heart-broken. He is easily recogizable, having silver buckles on his knee. If you see him, call cops.
written by unknown
So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
As Egyptian President Mubarak packs his bags, he channels Woody Guthrie.
written by Gail Farrelly, 05 February 2011
The Entire RAF Rescue 150 People from Libya
Britain was left unguarded for a moment when both of the remaining Hercules aircraft flew to Tripoli to rescue 150 people. The RAF could have used Nimrods, but the government scrapped them weeks ago.
written by IN SEINE, 26 February 2011
Charlie Sheen
CBS has announced their new fall line-up
They are putting a lot of faith in a new television show called one and a half men.
written by victor nicholas, 26 February 2011
Peter Pumpkin eater, arrested
Peter, Peter Pumpkin eater arrested for unlawful confinement of wife in pumpkin shell. He is also charged with vegetable abuse.
written by unknown
Simple Simon suing 'someone'
Simple Simon is suing someone fro 'labelling' him as 'simple' but he is so stoopid, he doesn't know who to go to to help him out. Any village idiots out there willing to give him a hand?
written by unknown
Gaddafi's Son Issues Warning
Gaddafi's son, Little G, warns of 'rivers of blood'..."the mother-in-law of all wars!"
written by Bureau, 21 February 2011
Crooked man to be evicted
The Crooked man is to be evicted along with his crooked cat and crooked dog. The crooked house they live in has been condemned. He is now set to walk nother crooked mile to go to live with his sister.
written by unknown
So What Did You Do to Celebrate?
Yesterday in the United States it was the annual Furniture Sale of The Year with low, low, low prices...otherwise known as President's Day.
written by Bureau, 22 February 2011
Soldiers to Sell Laptops
Up to 4,000,000 soldiers have put their laptops up for sale in case they get contacted by the Ministry of Defence telling them they have lost their jobs, it was disclosed today.
written by IN SEINE, 16 February 2011
Plans to improve school dinners in Oldham?
Oldham(UK)want to charge any new takeaway food shop wanting to open up near a school £1000.Let's hope they spend it on
improving the school dinners!
written by Tommy Twinkle, 09 February 2011
Pensioner's handbag brings in record bid at Chrispies
The handbag used to smack the 6 idiots who attempted the jewelry store heist this week, has been auctioned at Chrispies, bringing in 6,000 pounds which will go towards brain transplants for the 6.
written by unknown
Why Americans call the season before Winter - FALL
Coz nonE of 'em can spell AUTUMN!
written by unknown
Smart Teenager Will Take Out His Revenge More Precisely
BIRMINGHAM - An A* student, will take out his revenge on school bullies. "When I grow up, I'll make sure they're the cleaners of my loo. That's too good. Be my clowns." Score one for intellectuals.
written by Inhopeless, 12 February 2011
1 in 20 Brits Have Been Caught in a Scam
It is reported that 1 in 20 Brits have been caught in a scam. This means that the other 19 have been devising them -such is the UK population which now has 19 out of 20 immigrants.
written by IN SEINE, 04 February 2011
The House That Jack Built - to be demolished
Too many horrifiying crimes on animals, cat eating a rat, dog worrying a cat, cow with crumpled horn tossing the dog, took place in the house that Jack built. It's to be demolished by 37 elephants.
written by unknown
Baa Baa Black Sheep - snubbed
Baa Baa Black sheep was snubbed by The Little Boy who lives down the lane. When asked to comment, Little Boy said,"What the hell am I supposed to do with a bag of black wool? I'm busy playing my Wii.
written by unknown
Jack be nimble - hospitalized
Jack of 'jump over the candlesick' fame has been admitted to the 'burn unit' of St. Jo's hospital in Brantford, Ontario. He burned his toe jumping over one when it was LIT. Bleeding idiot!
written by unknown
It's raining, it's pouring
It's raining, it's pouring but the old man ain't snoring. He's wearing his CPAP mask, much to the delight of his wife.
written by unknown
Possible Polish Uprising?
It has been reported that Poland have bought over 2,000 septic tanks and when they have learned to drive them, they plan to invade Russia.
written by IN SEINE, 20 February 2011
Ted Williams
Does anyone still remember him....besides me that is!
written by unknown
Japanese Embraces New Sport: Competitive Hole Digging
The Japanese are embracing a new sport: competitive hole digging. A contingent is coming to England in a bid to learn from the current world champions at digging holes: David Cameron and Nick Clegg.
written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2011
Injury in Jury
A 92-year-old grandmother of 10 was injured today when a cat sat on the jury of which she was a member.
written by IN SEINE, 01 February 2011
FACT: Men have dirtier minds than women
Scientists have discovered why men have dirtier minds than women - a spokesman said that there is ample evidence that they change them more often.
written by IN SEINE, 20 February 2011
Japan Declares NO FRY Zone
After making light of the atomic bombs on QI, Stephen Fry has abandoned his plans to visit Japan for a documentary. In case of a revenge attack, the Japanese embassy have decclared it a NO FRY zone.
written by IN SEINE, 08 February 2011
iConfess
A new app for the iphone has been launched today in the hopes of getting more Roman Catholics to confess. However, it is not as successful as Google because Google knows the truth and if we do the 10 Hail Mary's or not.
written by IN SEINE, 09 February 2011
I've lost my mind
Please, someone, anyone, help me find it. If I remember rightly, it's a very good one...only one lady owner, last used on The Spoof site. Not many miles on the clock but chassis needs ome work.
written by unknown
Humpty Dumpty suing King's Men
Humpty Dumpty is indeed suing the King's Men for incompetence stating, "With all their training at the tax payers expense, you'd think they could put a bleeding egg together." More as we get it.
written by unknown
Georgie Porgie sent to Juvenile Hall
Georgie Porgie sent to Juvenile Hall for 6 months. His crime? forcing kisses on girls and making them cry. His sentence will be lengthened should he 'try it on' with any of the lads in 'juvie'.
written by unknown
Egypt Exodus
Israel have sent in Moses to extract ex-pats and tourists back from riot torn Egypt. The operation is expected to take forty years.
written by IainB, 02 February 2011
Iran Banned In Facebook On Opposite Day
FACEBOOK, UNITED WEBSITES OF INTERNET - Facebook has banned the nation from all of its servers on Opposite Day. "They've constantly violated many FB rules," said Zuckerberg. "Three strikes & out."
written by Inhopeless, 13 February 2011
Russian Sells MiGs for £3 Each
A Russian military man was given an 11 month sentence for selling 4 Russian MiG aircraft for £3 each! Meanwhile, David Cameron, is trying to sell and the Harriers for £1 each - a choice of 66.
written by IN SEINE, 26 February 2011
The Farmer in the Dell has been arrested along with wife
The farmer in the Dell was arrested this morning.The wife he 'took' was not his own. The woman in question has also been arrested because the baby SHE 'took' was not hers. The nurse has been cleared.
written by unknown
Polly won't be putting the kettle on any longer
Polly will not be putting the kettle on any day soon because every time she does-Sukey has to take it off again because everyone goes home. "Bloody waste of my precious time," said Polly.
written by unknown
Doctor Foster to give Gloucester another try
Dr Foster has decided to give Gloucester another try. After stepping into a puddle right up to his middle many years ago he's bought a pair of green hip-waders and is set to make the journey tomorrow.
written by unknown
Osbourne Rates King's Speech
Ozzie Osbourne went to see the King's Speech last night. His verdict: "It was 'King billiant!"
written by IN SEINE, 28 February 2011
Reverend Al Sharpton Says Sarah Palin Is Severely Lacking In Geographical Smarts
Rev. Al Sharpton says one reason he never wants to see Sarah Palin as president of the USA is because of her lack of geographical knowledge she could end up bombing Iowa thinking it's Iran.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 February 2011
Baby Gorilla Takes Its First Steps
A baby gorilla born in London zoo has taken its first steps today. The steps were taken after a zookeeper who was cleaning the ceiling of the monkeyhouse went for a comfort break.
written by IN SEINE, 16 February 2011
Food for thought!
Obama says the sudden appearance of whistling chickens on many Kentucky farms unlikely being caused by GM corn feed.
written by Tommy Twinkle, 16 February 2011
Gaddafi's Son Claims Libya Nothing Like Egypt or Tunesia
and clarifies, "We kill our protesters."
written by Charpa93, 21 February 2011
Hillary Advises Chelsea on Marriage Difficulties!
".....sometimes you've just got to stop whining and suck it up.....!"
written by unknown
Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk given 'life' in prison.
The giant has been given 'Life with no chance of parole' for grinding the bones of Englishmen to make his bread, be they alive or be they dead. It's hoped he takes a shower in prison - Dhamer style!
written by unknown
The Reason "Weird" Al Yankovic Is Retiring
"Weird" Al Yankovic is retiring after losing his "Weirdness."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2011
Bristol Palin Plans on Following in Her Mom's Footsteps
"They may be big stilettos to fill," said one reporter who is covering the story, "but Bristol is serious about running for President in 2020."
written by Charpa93, 21 February 2011
PETA Still Protesting Animal Fur!
Attendees of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show last week say that they are tired of seeing the PETA protesters outside. Also, that having little coats on their shaved pets won't keep them warm.
written by Bureau, 21 February 2011
It's all in the genes!
Researchers for BBC's 'Who Do You Think You Are' program say they've discovered the great grandfather of America's TV reporter Serene Branson was none other than the great Stanley Unwin!
written by Tommy Twinkle, 21 February 2011
Whether forecast for Prince Charles
Slight chance of reign!
written by unknown
Wanted: Handbag-weilding OAPs to join police forces worldwide
Handbag-wielding O.A.P.s are being recruited by Police Forces World-Wide after the video aired on youtube today- old lady single-handedly thwarted jewelry store robbery using her grit and her handbag.
written by unknown
Clown Congressman Off to a Bad Start
Clown congressman messes up first vote, spilling seltzer water all over it.
written by Bureau, 21 February 2011
Is it me? Or is it me?
Well, I recently looked in the mirror, expecting to see ME, of course, but my mam was looking back at me...and she was laughing her head off.
written by unknown
Jack and Jill in custody battle over pail
Jack and Jill-in a heated custody battle as to who should actually take ownership of the pail which they have shared for years. They parted ways when Jack climbed the beanstalk and didn't invite Jill.
written by unknown
Three Bears Drop Charges against Goldilocks
The three bears agree to drop charges against Goldilocks for Break & Enter,theft of porridge, destruction of furniture & soiling of beds. They'll drop the charges if she becomes their house-keeper.
written by unknown
I've just had a haircut
At my recent visit to my hairdresser she used 'snippets' to tidy up the neckline.
Glad she didn's use Spoof Snippets.
written by unknown
Might Work Here
Belgium sets new record: 249 days with no government. "They've inspired us say protesters in several Middle Eastern countries.
written by Bureau, 21 February 2011
Ouch! Unkindest Cut of All!
San Francisco Gay Rights Group wants to ban circumcision until males are 18
and able to decide if they want to cut the tip of their dick off. Protest is 'big flap
over nothing' say Lesbians.
written by unknown
Indian man has 39 wives
The leader of a religious sect in India has 39 wives, whereas I have five cats who have 45 lives.
written by IN SEINE, 22 February 2011
Russia Is to Classify Beer As Water
The Russians have officially classified beer as alcohol with the exception that American beer still tastes like water.
written by IN SEINE, 23 February 2011
Lib Dems to be now known as Dem Libs
The Lib Dems now wish to be known as Dem Libs in honour of the many supporters who have botoxed lips...and they DO number in the thousands...
written by unknown
Shed Owners Warn Police
The owners of sheds have warned police not to use wire mesh on their riot vans in case one of the rioters gets injured.
written by IN SEINE, 18 February 2011
Alligator Found behind Sofa in Brazil
The amphibious reptile was found behind a sofa in Brazil, today. Meanwhile another alligator was discovered to be made into a handbag in neighbouring Argentina.
written by IN SEINE, 24 February 2011
Mubarak believes he can win election!
Hosni Mubarak says he would like to give the people of Egypt the opportunity to vote him back into power when arrangements are made for an election to take place.He feels confident of winning he says.
written by Tommy Twinkle, 12 February 2011
New Disorder Discovered
A 75-year-old actor from Milton Keynes, retired from his profession last year. He has now been diagnosed as suffering from PDSD... that is Post Dramatic Stress Disorder
written by IN SEINE, 13 February 2011
Bad Headline number 79:
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
written by IN SEINE, 18 February 2011
You Won't Believe What Rich Oprah Winfrey Wants To Buy
Oprah Winfrey is so rich she is thinking about buying Wikileaks, New Hampshire, and the Gulf of Mexico.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 February 2011
The New Perfume Fragrance From Joan "The Moan" Rivers
Joan Rivers has just come out with her own perfume line. It's called...Eau Du Old As The Hills.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 February 2011
Cairo's Tahnir Square Prayers Disrupted: 2 Dead, Hundreds Evacuated
Friday prayer time in Tahnir Square, Cairo was disrupted by a single flatulent worshipper who caused the deaths of two people, hundreds had to make a quick exit.
written by IN SEINE, 05 February 2011
Ted Williams
I demand an update...even if I didn't get his name right.
Where is he? How is he? Is that what is know by 15 mins. of fame? Then I demand MORE!
written by unknown
Mike Tyson Vs. Naomi Campbell
Grambling University in order to raise money for scholarships is hoping to put on a celebrity wrestling match between Mike "The Lisper" Tyson and Naomi "The Employee Beater" Campbell.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 February 2011
Getting Exam Results No. 1 Cause of Finding Out About Terrible Exam Results
[more as it comes in]
written by Inhopeless, 15 February 2011
Reminder about April Fools Day.
'The Spoof' is perhaps an appropriate place to remind everyone that as from this year April Fools Day is not
officially on the first day of April but on the first MONDAY of April.Don't Forget!
written by Tommy Twinkle, 16 February 2011
Is Berlusconi Going Deaf?
Italian premier, Silvio Berlusconi, could be going deaf it has been reported today. Apparently, he had heard on the news that there were hoardes demonstrating in Tahnir Square, Cairo and immediately flew there for a look.
written by IN SEINE, 07 February 2011
Obama scares human race with UFO statement.
President Obama has ruled out any possibility of there ever being public disclosure regarding the UFO subject saying 'The truth about UFO'S is far too awful for it to ever be revealed to the public'.
written by Tommy Twinkle, 08 February 2011
Frankie The J gets a papercut
Frankie The J received a 'paper cut' whilst exercising on a STATIONERY BIKE this morning.
written by unknown
Kerry Katona has turned to the spirits in a desperate bid to find Mr Right
Vodka, Kahlua and Baileys.
written by pinxit, 12 February 2011
Thin Lizzy to Be Renamed
The Irish rock band Thin Lizzy will be renamed following the death of guitarist Gary Moore. It will now be known as "Even Thinner Lizzy."
written by IN SEINE, 07 February 2011
No Hair Gadaffi
No hair Gadaffi, Son of Mumar considers himself blessed with baldness. No one wants hair like his Dad.
written by Katarina Frogpond2, 21 February 2011
Storm Heading For Protesters?
A snow storm that could hit the Madison, Wisconsin area this week could prevent protesting union workers to miss a day of being off their job.
written by Bureau, 22 February 2011
Three Blind Mice Flee from Court
Three Blind mice murdered in a court today when a cat who was sitting alongside the jury, jumped out of the box and did what any ordinary cat would. They could not see it coming!
written by IN SEINE, 01 February 2011
Milie Cyrus gets her fifth tattoo
The letter 'E' has been tattooed on her arm after spending a considerable amount of time learning the first four letters of the alphabet.
written by Proffitt, 04 February 2011
Noted Lesbian Singers Melissa Etheridge and Chely Wright To Record A Duet
The lesbian duo of Melissa Etheridge and Chely Wright will be going into the recording studio to record the country music song, "Hey Cowboy, Get Dat Damn Pecker Da Hell Away From Me Rat Now!"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2011
The Netherlands Is Planning On Invading Cuba
The Netherlands facing a severe cigar shortage is presently making plans to invade Cuba.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 15 February 2011
