Golden mile
Blackpool has broken the record for the most people to publicly urinating at one time, with over seven thousand taking part. "We're renaming the prom Golden Shower Mile for a bit," said the mayor.
written by IainB, 29 December 2011
Sex survey
A new survey has discovered that ventriloquists make the best lovers. "You should see how far they can put those fingers," said one excited survey participant.
written by IainB, 29 December 2011
Newby's New Year Calendar
The Derbyshire town of Newby is to launch it's own's topless calendar for 2012, called Newby's Boobies.
written by IainB, 29 December 2011
NHS lanterns
Lanterns are being handed out to that latest branch of the NHS maternal care units. Gynageologists delve deeper than most and need the extra light.
written by IainB, 29 December 2011
Lawyers Eager to Settle Italian Divorce Case
Lawyers in Italy are eager to settle a divorce case involving a 99-year-old man and his 96-year-old wife after 77 years of marriage. "We must move quick here - he could die at any minute!" One lawyer said.
written by IN SEINE, 29 December 2011
David Cameron laughs off French claims of wife swapping parties
So we're all stuck with Nick Clegg for the foreseeable future then
written by radiogagger, 29 December 2011
South Koreans urged to 'Keep Calm And Carry On'
The same advice given when Kenneth Williams and Sid James died.
written by radiogagger, 29 December 2011
28 year old Kim Jong Un becomes North Korea Leader
I see their going with the Chelsea AVB policy of a young manager.
written by radiogagger, 29 December 2011
John Major resigns from MCC committee
Turns out he objected to 'Curry' on the menu.
written by radiogagger, 29 December 2011
Rachel Johnson hands over Editor role of Lady magazine to a man
Could have been worse, could have been her brother Boris.
written by radiogagger, 29 December 2011
There are now more Panda's in Scotland than Tories.
Co-incidentally there are more Panda's in Scotland than Nazi Uniforms.
written by radiogagger, 29 December 2011
Pippa Middleton attends seventh wedding of the year.
Well if you buy an outfit you may as well make the most of it.
written by radiogagger, 29 December 2011
"Brainless" Fish Discovered off Cost of Scotland
An amphyoxus - a kind of prehistoric fish with no brain, face or spine has been discovered off the coast of Scotland. Scientists have decided to call the creature Alex Salmond.
written by IN SEINE, 29 December 2011
Anti-whaling boat capsized by giant wave!
An anti-whaling boat has been capsized by a giant wave caused by Moby Dick doing a U-turn!
written by unknown
Turkeys raid Kurds and kill 23!
A flock of turkeys raided a kurdish settlement and killed 23 of them by flapping their wings and gobbling them up. It was a blitz winged attack!
written by unknown
Celtic v Rangers
Celtic beat Rangers 1-0; so what, yawn, yawn, yawn!
written by unknown
You're not fuelling us Cameron - 88% of drivers in petrol cost fear!
A staggering eight out of ten drivers are worried about sky-high fuel prices - and fear the Government is still against them.
"Now they are getting it!"
written by Inchcock, 29 December 2011
Labour's Mission 2012
Little Eddie Milipeed has said Labour's Mission for 2012 is to defeat despair......as a result of this statement he and Ed Balls are considering a mandatory mass Labour suicide pact on New Years Day!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 29 December 2011
Rick Perry Knows Michele Bachmann Pretty Good
Rick Perry asked a reporter if he knew what the difference between a calf and Michele Bachmann was. The reporter asked what? Perry replied, "A calf will only bite a cactus once."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
Ron Paul Hit Newt Gingrich Right Back And Twice As Hard
Newt Gingrich struck at Ron Paul by saying that if Paul was the GOP presidential candidate that he would not vote for him. Paul smiled and replied, "That's okay, I'm sure all of his mistresses will."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
The Greatest Clairvoyant In The United States
Thor VanPinderhausen of Reno, Nevada, who is regarded as one of the greatest clairvoyants in America has said he is quitting because he just does not see any future in it.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
Taylor Swift Needs Some Song Material
Taylor Swift has said somewhat tongue-in-cheek that her New Year's resolution is to get some more boyfriends so that she can diss them in future songs.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
The Name Did Sound Kinda Right Though
Kim Kardashian has stated that there is no truth to the rumor that she will be appearing on an upcoming episode of The Deadliest Catch.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
Janet Jackson Just Does Not See The Full Picture
PETA has named Janet "Fur Coat" Jackson as recipient of its first "Grinch of The Year Award." Jackson replied, "Look, it's not like I'm wearing animals that are alive and I'm hurting them."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
Lots of Sears Stores Are Going Bye-Bye
Target kicks Sears butt causing the retail giant to announce that it will be closing over 100 stores. Target quickly warns JC Penney "Your ass is next!"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
Kris Humphries Wants a Girl With A Normal Butt
Kris Humphries, who was dumped by his wife Kim Kardashian, says his New Year's resolution is to talk Hugh Hefner into giving him the cell phone numbers of several of his Playboy Playmates.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
This Time Barbara Walter's Means It
Barbara Walters reportedly confessed to her fellow View host Joy Behar that 2012 is the year that she will finally do something about her lisp.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
The Meat Cutter Turned In His Meat Cleaver
A butcher in Brooklyn, who had no sense of humor whatsoever, quit his job due to the fact that he just could not take all of the ribbing.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 December 2011
