Clegg On The Offensive Over Cuts
"F*** you m***er***ing C***s... you're all $"***ing *&&^^*S!!! What a bunch a f***** m********* *&%%55!!! Why don't you all just ^&$££"" %^^&((? Thank you.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
Biodiversity Talks Hit Problems
Lions refuse to meet wildebeest hunting limit demands ... krill boycott whales summit.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
G20 Summit Agrees IMF Reforms
Irish Mouse Feelers say: "What's it got to do with you? Bugger off!"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
Charity Warns Over Child Drinkers
"They'd as soon give you a smack in the mouth as give you 50p!"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
Blue Plaque For Lennon-Ono Home
Dentists completely baffled.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 October 2010
UFO Outside London
Unified Flying Object runs short of fuel outside London. Alien asks some tri-colored teens there to take him to their liter.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Not Used To Not Getting His Way!
A New American Revolution? Anti-establishment Tea Party is on the brink of election victories that could leave Obama a lame duck. Michelle says he may quack up.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Provoking Drivers
Drivers beware, traffic wardens have now gone undercover, often cuting you off in traffic, giving you the finger.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Keep Plans To Yourself
Why putting your holiday plans on Facebook is an invitation to crooks, warning to your relatives that you're coming.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Tired Of Them Making Fun Of Us!
Stop spending so much, furious Cameron tells EU as it demands 6 per cent budget increase. Asks for a new tax on spoofing!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Useless Teacher Fired
The first teacher banned for life for being useless. The first one caught that is.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Against Who?
U.S. to sell $60billion in military weaponry to Saudi Arabia to protect against Iran, Israel.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Ecuadorean Wins Siesta Championship #2
62-year-old Ecuadorean snores his way to victory in Spain's first siesta championship. Last opponent left found to be dead.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Ecuadorean Wins Siesta Championship!
62-year-old Ecuadorean snores his way to victory in Spain's first siesta championship. Will learn of good news as soon as he wakes up!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Nationwide Uprising!
Budget crises in Europe: France, U.K. get serious. With 10% unemployment here, crises will be in US next!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Obama Pushes Reid
President Obama sells Harry Reid to Las Vegas voters, along with 15% unemployment.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Hitler Could Have Used These Guys
WikiLeaks concludes that many pro-US Iraqi citizens probably needed blowing up, beheadings.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Wiki Acts Of Treason, Helping Enemy
Iraq war leaks: No US investigation of many abuses. Both Taliban and al-Qaida badly mistreated by brutal US soldiers, says traiter.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Lawsuit Launched Over Lawsuit
Lawsuit seeks to revive deepwater drilling ban. "Let Cuba do it and we'll buy it on credit from them!"
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Hillary Asks For Help
Hillary Clinton: Help Me change diplomacy with technology. Some kind of message board like the President keeps looking at while he's speaking.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Answer That One!!
Q&A: What the U.S. Undid for Women in Iraq, they needs to go back and undoed it.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Kentucky Conference
TeachMeet Kentucky conference draws 250 educators and learners!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Meth Lab U.
Suspected meth lab found in Georgetown Univ. dorm, science class.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Consumer's Lose?
Obama: Consumers lose if financial law repealed, especially me!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Jane Had Help
Academic: Jane Austen had helping hand from editor, especially on "Prided & Prejudicious".
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Here's Your Minumum Wage Check
More working families getting government food aid. Bosses giving out checks asking if they want fries with that.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Weak Divided Nation
Leaked Iraq war files portray weak, divided nation being helped by a stronger divided nation.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Thatcher to Remain in Hospital Forever
Her son, Sir Mark, says she feels better with each passing day and as such he feels it would be cruel to return her home.
written by Mercy Me, 23 October 2010
Bacteria Stored In Shower Heads
Showerheads may be key storage for bacteria and is dangerous to some, but French women say that strong perfume completely destroys it.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Ball Lightning Rough
New book out about Michael Jackson says his continued high voice caused by being struck by ball lightning as an 8-year-old.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Commercial Sex Workers???
REPORT: First lady 'likely' to meet 'commercial sex workers' in India! Just like Bill Clinton in his eight years in the White House.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Johnston In Bad Shape
Levi Johnston unsure if he's with Democrats or GOP.....has diarrhea or going blind!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Peter Rabbit Announces Cast Of Hobbit?
Peter Rabbit announces 'Hoppit' cast. Sorry, that should be Peter Jackson announces Hobbit cast.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
FOX Got Williams
Gone from NPR, Williams begins bigger role on Fox. "Being fired by NPR the highest recommendation for FOX", says Williams.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Holy Cow!
British comedian Russell Brand and American pop singer Katy Perry were married Saturday in a traditional Hindu wedding ceremony, with calf as flower girl.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Ex-Cowboy Arrested
Former Dallas Cowboys and University of Georgia quarterback Quincy Carter has been arrested on a battery charge. Claims he was just charging his battery.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Aging Wealthy Yanks Lose
Aging high-salaried Yankees have host of issues to deal with baseball and social security cuts under Obama.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Travel In France Down
Strikes hurt travel for France's school holidays. Many youths say rioting more fun, anyway.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Nessie Fools HMS Astute
HMS Astute runs aground in Scotland. Claim they were lured there by Nessie.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Nuclear Sub Freed
Grounded UK nuclear submarine towed free of giant Octopus as Paul intercedes.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Dubai Crash Should Warn Others
Dubai: Real Estate Crash Sends Prices, Rents, Faces of Government Falling!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Far Out?
Far-right parties oppose EU membership for Turkey claiming they are left of the far-left.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
WikiLeaks Sells Out?
Iraqi PM: WikiLeaks release politically timed. Hired by Iran?
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
"Tapir Man" A Reject
New superhero "Tapir Man" by Stan Lee rejected by new owners of Marvel who call it the ugliest one yet and accuse Lee of not trying.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Mud Only Helps
Republican Party women running for office say they don't mind the mud thrown at them by opponents because they're not wearing bras.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Monkey/Typewriters Fail Again
Room full of monkeys once again write nothing about Shakespeare's work. Instead they use writing paper for holding poo during fights.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Barrel Of Monkeys
A new study has shown that an actually barrel of monkeys would tear your face off with no humor at all.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
But That Was 3 Hours Ago!
In a NASA survey of astronauts, their first big surprise in space was not looking back at the earth but how long one fart can last in the cabin.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Leading Journalist Claims That Thespoof.com Is Better Than Wikileeks
A leading journalist who cannot be named, claims that Thespoof.com is far more reliable and true than Wikileeks.
written by IN SEINE, 23 October 2010
Spoofwriter is convinced that Mark Lowton is spitting image
An unnamed Spoofwriter is convinced that Mark Lowton is Formula One racing driver, Sebastian Vettel. Upon telephoning TheSpoof Office this morning there was no answer. Makes you think doesn't it?
written by IN SEINE, 23 October 2010
Submarine to Be Renamed
The Royal Navy is to rename its £1.2 billion nuclear submarine, HMS Astute to HMS Myopia after it collided with a sand bank near the Isle of Skye today.
written by IN SEINE, 23 October 2010
3 pork eating people die as tortured piggies seek revenge
Eating pork can be deadly, hepatitis E is spreading amongst pork eaters! Tortured piggies are on the warpath because they only want to be happy piggies and not treated like holocaust victims!
written by unknown
You Are What You Eat
New study reveals that you really are what you eat. So if you are obese, they recommend getting rid of all pigs feet in the refrigerator.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Nice Title
Young Texas doctor who is a gas specialist says that he is not stopping until he's known as "The Fart Specialist To The Stars!"
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
US Borrowing More?
Treasury's Geithner to meet with China's Vice Premier to discuss 'important bilateral economic matters' Hit them up for another loan.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
USA Overthrow!
GOP candidate Stephen Broden stunned his party Thursday, saying he would not rule out violent overthrow of government if elections did not produce a change in leadership. "We're losing our country."
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Up To Usual Tricks
GOP spending $200 billion on campaign ads...Democrats Back Third Parties to Siphon Votes...Average American screwed again.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Woman Has Dead Passenger
Woman drove for months with dead body in passenger seat. "She allowed me to use the fast lane."
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Woman Drives With Dead Body In Car
Woman drove for months with dead body in passenger seat. "Thought she was mad at me."
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
138th Bank Closes!
Feds shut 6 banks in FL, GA, IL, KS; 138 bank failures this year. Record since the Depression.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Reid Defends Extravagance
Harry Reid defends million-dollar RITZ-CARLTON condo. "Everybody else is doing it!"
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Las Vegas Unemployment At 15%
Las Vegas: Record 15% Unemployment. Another feather in the hat for Harry Reid.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Obama Critically Wounded
Reid loss would leave Obama 'politically wounded'. Might not win the Nobel Prize for Hypocrisy this coming year!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
See If He's Still Moving
Dem pollster: Reid's campaign close but 'underwhelming'.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Reid Seems To Be Moving
OBAMA: 'Harry doesn't move real quick'...but may still dodge a bullet!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Lohan Comeback On Hold..Thank Goodness!
Judge's rehab ruling keeps Lohan comeback on hold, the poor innocent kid!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Levi Johnson, Politician
Levi Johnston unsure if he's with Democrats or GOP. "What's a GOP?"
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
That's A "No-No!"
Williams: NPR was looking for reason to fire him. "I made the mistake of criticizing President."
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Diabetes Could Triple In 40 Years
Number of diabetic Americans could triple by 2050 say candy and children cereal companies.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Thought They Only Looked Into Space
Astronomers say they've found oldest galaxy so far. Original Ford came out in 1959, but this could be a 1958 trial model.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Not The Best Choice Of Sites
US envoy: Climate deal still possible in Mexico if we could stop dodging bullets long enough to talk it over.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Healthe Insurers Play Both Sides
Health insurers help GOP after dalliance with Dems as "you never know which side will win".
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Obama Finishes Minnesota Campaign
Obama ends 4-day campaign swing in Minneapolis. Going back to Washington to rest and govern the country for awhile.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Williams Gets New Job
Gone from NPR, Williams begins bigger role on Fox. "NPR blocks free speech for all who disagree with them."
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Massive Japanese Grave On Iwo Jima
Bodies, mass graves found on Iwo Jima. WikiLeaks say US most likely the killers of these soldiers.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Texas First Time In World Series
Rangers down Yanks to reach first World Series. Point out that it had only taken 50 years, not 100 like Cubs.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Both Parties 'Peddling!'
Obama accuses Republicans of peddling "snake oil". GOP accuses of peddling socialism!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
"WikiLeaks" Arnold #2
WikiLeaks data shows U.S. failed to probe Iraqi abuses. Hard to probe when people dying on the battlefield.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
"WikiLeaks" Arnold
WikiLeaks data shows U.S. failed to probe Iraqi abuses. Probably too busy fighting a war for their country.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Yanks Can't Buy Pennant
Yankees' bid for No. 28 ends with Lone Star loss despite tow of their players earning more than whole Texas team!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
More Obama "Successes"?
7 banks closed in Fla., Ga., Ill., Kan., Ariz. as Obama avoiding any talk about these weekly events.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Obama Tourts His Stock Market "Success"
Obama trumpets Wall St. overhaul in weekly address. No one knows why with stocks dropping steadily.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
California Sharks Attacking
Friend: Waves turned red with blood after attack of shark on friend. California filled with sharks in ocean, political sharks on land.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Working Families Getting Food Aid
More working families getting government food aid since many have taken minimum wage jobs. "Whole country falling apart", say family that lost their home.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Quaid's In Canada
Randy Quaid, wife seek refugee status in Canada. US immediatel approves. "You can have them."
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Dubai Real Estate Prices Falling
Dubai: Real Estate Crash Sends Prices, Rents, World's Tallest Building Falling.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Obama Warns Voters #3
President Barack Obama is warning voters that Republicans seeking control of Congress would roll back his hard-won Wall Street overhaul bill and ruining our economy!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Obama Warns Voters #2
President Barack Obama is warning voters that Republicans seeking control of Congress would roll back his hard-won Wall Street overhaul bill and give people jobs!
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Obama Warning Voters
President Barack Obama is warning voters that Republicans seeking control of Congress would roll back his hard-won Wall Street overhaul bill & keep me from running up debt further.
written by Bureau, 23 October 2010
Juan Williams to star in remake of The Godfather Part II
News analyst, Juan Williams, has been offered the role of Fredo Corleone in the remake of 'The Godfather Part II'.
NPR chief, Vivian Schiller, said: "I know it was you Juan, you broke my heart."
written by John Cavanagh, 23 October 2010
You call that war??
U.S. Army field logs from Afghanistan leaked, grisly reports of torture, attacks with acid and electric drills, beatings and mutilations. Yawn. Don't these people watch movies?
written by The San Francisco Onion, 23 October 2010
WikiLeaks Still Publishing Things that Won't Help United States Win
WikiLeaks likes to release top secret documents that don't help stop wars, but only prove that war is evil. The latest releases about the Iraq War are no different.
written by UWGB-Beek, 23 October 2010
Yummy
Healthy food advocates convinced the girl scouts, high school band & sports team fundraisers to sell celery spears instead of cookies & candy. So far these organizations have raised a total of $3.25!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 October 2010
You Did What?
HMS Astute, first of a new class of Royal Navy nuclear-powered submarines was snagged on rocks off of Scotland. Her captain's next assignment will be a ferry between the Isle of Wight & Portsmouth.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 October 2010
Former President Bush Leads in the Mid-Term Elections
Early voting began this week in many states across the USA & exit polls indicate former President Bush is way ahead. GOP cites Pres. Obama & leading Democrats for the result, due to name recognition.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 October 2010
Who's on First?
USA economy continues to go down the tube at a rapid rate with high unemployment still present. Yet the Obama administration worries about diabetes in 2050, asteroid hits & changing city street signs!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 October 2010
OSHA's Bathing Suit for Negating Shark Attacks
The new bathing suit is modeled after medieval armor. Independent safety experts expect the number of swimmers/surfers drowning to increase because of the weight. Not too worry air bags are coming!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 October 2010
Rooney wants out
Man U star Wayne Rooney says he wants to be ejected into outer space and stay there indefinitely because he can't stand being on the same planet as Sir Alex Ferguson. NASA will build him a rocket.
written by whatinthe world, 23 October 2010
