Sounds Like A Native American
ABC Launches A New Reality Dating Series Called: "Joe Horsepecker!"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
NKorea Makes It's Point
North Korea stores last nuclear missile: "Now who wants to call us "the dog eaters"?
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Stewart Group Not Gay
Rod Stewart denies that his old group, Small Feces were gay. If we were gay, we would have called ourselves "Big, Bloody Feces!"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Adult Toy Recall
Over 20,000 Chinese made adult toys found to contain lead being pulled from shelves, homes and bodies.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Another Old Favorite Gone
Barbara Billingsley, the Mother of all Beavers, passes away!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
VP Into Reading
Vice President Biden spotted carrying a copy of "The Complete Idiot's Guide To Finding Bin Laden".
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Can't Tell Who's Mumbling!
Sylvester Stallone in the lead role of "The Ventriloquist" is not a pretty sight.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Gore Line Not Working
Women in Tennessee, Kentucky and North Carolina tired of Al Gore's "I was once Vice President, invented the internet" line.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Sexy female Italian teacher banned from teaching, they prefer a Catholic priest?
A school in Milan has banned a very sexy female teacher from teaching, the mums prefer a Catholic priest as the teacher? The Dad's love her and want her to stay!
written by unknown
Look! He's Walking Inch Off Ground, Glowing
Democrats worried after latest Cheney pacemaker attaches itself to the Hadron Collider frequency!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
I'm NOT Voting. Go Away!
Key game between Green Bay and Minnesota interrupted with telephone calls to wife over the latest local gossip and campaign tapes.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Politics Getting Weird
Former Vice President Cheney challenges Bill Clinton to a burger eating heart-attack match!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Dems Speechless!
Obama, Bill Clinton, other Democrats out campaigning suddenly silent after hearing that former president Bush has a rap record out.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Not Disney World!
Hey Curling Champs, where are you going after winning the national championship? "We're headed to Shakertown, where they invented the broom!"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
NPR Hippocritical?
Williams: NPR was looking for reason to fire me. I recommend that no one send in donations.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
NPR More Left Wing Than Networks
Williams: NPR was looking for reason to fire me and any other conservative!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Chinese Car Not Selling
New Chinese low-cost car introduced into America, the 'Dinky Dong'..not selling well.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
"And You Can Bet Your Sweet Pooper..."
Hugo Chavez announcement to the United States about co-operation with Iran loses macho due to gay interpreter.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Kim & Son Name It "Acme Dong"!
CIA reports that North Korea now says they have increased their rocket speed to ludicrous!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Siemens Changing
German Giant Siemens Company to change it's name to 'White Honey!'
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Stewart Interviewed Again
Martha Stewart still denies any links to organized crime.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Here They Come!
American couches get ready for the great lardass movement as the Holidays approach!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Now He's Rubbing It In!
In his latest video release, bin Laden shown blesing the spot in NYC where 911 Mosque to be built.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Pulled Out Just In Time
Local man who fell into big pig pen nearly defecated!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Boom Times Gone In Las Vegas
For many, gamble lost in once-booming Las Vegas. "It's us against the house", say those still there.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Kept Dead Friend In Car
Driver kept dead friend's body in her car for 10 months fearing police would 'accuse her of something'. She was right: Abusing a corpse!"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Bird Brains Bickering
O Sole Mio-singing parrot at centre of custody battle between ex-owner and council. Threaten to teach bird how to sing "Achy Breaky Heart".
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Rooney replacement, Gazza, gets done for possessing drugs!
Man U have enough problems, first Rooneygate and now his proposed replacement, veteran super-whinger Gazza. Sir Alex was hoping to sign him on a short contract, but Gazza's blown it again, a joint!
written by unknown
Pound Falls In Value
Pound slumps to six month low against euro amid claims of new money printing round. Euro falls against Chinese Yuan..Yuan against Gold-Plated Latinum.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Blow Away Cyber-Bully?
Cyber-bullying is 'now the greatest fear U.S. parents have about their children's safety'. New classes being taught on how to cause cyber-bully's equipment to crash!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
A "Sub On The Rocks, Please!" #2
Brand-new £1bn nuclear submarine on the rocks: Navy shame as Britain's most deadly vessel runs aground. "Already has a new drink name after it."
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Sub On The Rocks, Please
Brand-new £1bn nuclear submarine on the rocks: Navy shame as Britain's most deadly vessel runs aground. Captain prevented from committing hari kari.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Roony Changes Tuney
Fans shock at U-turn as Rooney decides to stay at Old Trafford! "Call me Britain's Brett Favre", he jokes.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
UK Nuclear Sub Grounded
"And you're not getting out of this house again until you think about what you did and apologise!" said mum.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 22 October 2010
Wayne Rooney Marches Down The Hill
Manchester United star, Wayne Rooney, surprised the pundits by signing a five year contract with his club.'I marched up to the top of the hill then I marched down again. I wanted to see the view.'
written by j.w., 22 October 2010
It Was The Mice
Office worker still blaming his eating of co-worker's lunches on mice, even though mice poop in drawer turns out to black pepper.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Discovered from old diary!
Just revealed: The original Ma and Pa Kettle were black!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
UFO Alley
NYC officials say that white object over the city two weeks ago was apparently Kirstie Alley mooning reporters after hanging out of helicopter. Copter pilot confesses after she almost brought it down.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Nyc Psychic Arrested, Ruined
Psychic in New York City who was caught slipping money out of clients pockets and purses says her career is ruined, never saw police coming after her.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Psychic Arrested
New York psychic arrested after calling hundreds of Jewish men after seeing that their mother's have die, and telling them that 'Mother wants a word or two with you."
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Billion Gallons Of Water On The Moon
Water on the Moon: A Billion Gallons! May bolster case for manned base. Won't have to drink piss-water.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Stink Bug Invasions
'Stink bugs' hit New York, other states in massive invasion. "They'll be gone once election is over", say pest control people.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Don't Make Waves?
NPR CEO: His Views Should Stay Between Himself And 'His Psychiatrist'. Be made to shut up against NPR prejudice!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Williams Speaks Out!
NPR's fired Williams: I Was Fired For Telling The Truth'. That was too much for today's news casters who are in the pockets of political parties.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
NPR Catching It From GOP & Dems!
FOX NEWS OFFERS NEW $2 MILLION CONTRACT, EXPANDED ROLE To FIRED NPR REPORTER! "Freedom of speech still protected here", they say.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Fannie, Freddie Eating Up US Economy
FANNIE, FREDDIE bailout could double, triple, need three more bailouts!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Cuomo Blamed For Housing Bubble
New York's Paladino blames Cuomo for housing bubble. "He should change his name to "Freddie Mac!"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Rabbit Up?
Republican Sharron Angle again called on Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to "man up" and take responsibility for the state's woes! "Or is it rabbit-up?"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
No Guts On Cuts?
Can Obama match Britain's guts on budget cuts? Probably not as he's cut very little so far, while adding more.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
'Hobbit' Cast Being Completed
Peter Jackson announces 'Hobbit' cast with several descendants of Munchkins from old Oz movie hired as extras.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Hippocritcal Display?
Expansive Native American exhibit opening in NYC. Displayed bones and remains of culture to show how we disrespect their people.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
NPR Funding Questioned Again
NPR's fed funding questioned after firing analyst but liberals say they will continue government funding of 'mouthpiece'.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Lots Of Moon Water?
Last year's moonshot splashed up lots of water but Obama refuses to go any further. India, China say they may go after minerals, etc there.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Climate Deal Still Possible
US envoy: Climate deal still possible in Mexico, if we can be heard over drug gang gunfire!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Pakistan Military Given $2 Billion
AP sources: US to up Pakistani military aid by $2B. "The money's only worth half what it was anyway."
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Simple Solution
Poll: Americans split on health care repeal. "So let's just half-ass support, reject it", say half of them.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
How About Answers?
Questions raised in Ohio gunpoint abortion case! You would think so, wouldn't you?
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Obama Learns Of Suicides
Obama says he's shocked, saddened by youth suicides. Told 'None of are exactly cheered up over the incidents!"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Situation: Hopeless
Afghan insurgents say "no hope" for peace talks. President Obama: Why didn't you tell us this six years ago?
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Yuan To Grow On!
China says global recovery shaky, to spur yuan use. But many oppose the plan. "First yuan thing and then another!"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Spuring Yuan Use!
China says global recovery shaky, to spur yuan use. Many countries say, "How can you get excited about a monetary unit called a Yuan?"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Yes/No On Another Stimulus
Two top U.S. Federal Reserve officials gave competing views on the need for more monetary stimulus to the U.S. economy, as first stimulus brought one job, paying CEO $100 million!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Obama Campaign For Senate Leader
Obama to campaign for embattled Senate leader as most people say they know What's His Ass!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Campaign Fervor Rises!
Campaign fervor rises as more fights at bars now over politics more than sports.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Teen Slightly Hurt
New teen driver injured in one-vehicle crash inside his home garage.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Lohan Luke Back In Court
Lindsay Lohan due back in court on criminal case, now a redhead!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Quiet Negotiations Helped
Diplomat: Quiet negotiations helped obtain release of prisoner in Iran. Mimes say: See we do have some use.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
France Unrest Continues
French police force open blockaded fuel depot but then it's closed behind them by rioters.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Found One Older I Guess
Astronomers say they've found oldest galaxy so far...wait a minute..this just in. Make that the Second Oldest galaxy so far!
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Award To Anonymous Artist
Anonymous street artist is awarded $100,000. Over 1,000 have now came forward to say, "I'm that guy!"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Tigers To Disappear
Tigers could be extinct within 12 years: WWF. "In Detroit, both Tigers and Lions are extinct already."
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Many Voting Early
Election Day is over for millions of early voters. "Why get out in that crowd if no one slips you a $20 anymore?"
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
WikiLeaks Supported By Al-Qaida?
The WikiLeaks website appears close to releasing what the Pentagon fears is the largest cache of secret U.S. documents in history. At another time of war, this would be considered treason.
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Warning: Bill Out Campaigning
Bill Clinton races to help Democratic candidates, drawing big crowds who have made their daughters stay at home,
written by Bureau, 22 October 2010
Oksana Grigorieva Self-incriminates. Moron.
Oksana Grigorieva said in court today, "I am not an extortionist, I was just trying to gain property or money by force, or threat of harm to reputation and... What? That is extortion.? Sh-t."
written by anthonyrosania, 22 October 2010
Rooney trying not to be looney
UK football hero, Wayne Rooney, has decided to form his own company, called Rooneytunes, in a drastic effort to escape his stereo-typed image as a "loony tune". Rooney wants to sign up Madonna. Yeah!
written by whatinthe world, 22 October 2010
Lady Gaga Cancels Performances
Lady Gaga cancels her shows in Paris this weekend due to strikes having crippled the city. Without meat & hair deliveries she would have nothing to wear, although that option was briefly considered.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
World Health Organization Concerns
UN WHO is worried about travelers being injured in car accidents occurring on bad roads, in third world countries. The UN missed the genocide that occurred in Cambodia, Rwanda and Sudan!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
Same Old, Same Old
Global climate disruption advocates upset by latest 2011 weather predictions in USA. Weathermen say it will be colder in some places, warmer in some places, wetter in some places drier in some places.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
Reaction to USDA Banning Potatoes in Federal School Programs
Kids say they're not anti-healthy food advocates, but take your cotton picking hands off our potatoes! Healthy food advocates need to get a life, get laid or eat a double cheeseburger with fries.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
Thanks from an Early Voter
After early voting "BULLSHIT" emails, flyers, TV ads, radio spots & phone calls can be deleted, thrown out, turned off or callers politely told "POUND SAND." Why didn't someone think of this earlier?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
National Public Radio Political Correctness Strikes Again
Liberal Juan Williams fired from NPR for remarks about people in airports who can be identified as Muslims. Then SML Reid must be fired from the US Senate for racial remarks about President Obama!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
A Case of Peanuts-in-Mouth Disease Reported
Former President Jimmy Carter said, while in Syria, that the terror group Hamas must be included in all major efforts for peace. Hamas has steadfastly refused to sit down and talk with Israel!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
Pelosi to Take Job with the Bay Area Rapid Transit
Following the US House going Republican HS Pelosi will go to work for BART in San Francisco CA. Her experience causing train wrecks in Congress has sent commuters back into their automobiles!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
Pelosi the Great Pretender
Is House Speaker Pelosi trying to keep her gavel by pretending to be the lightening rod for all Democratic liberal left policies, so that other house members will be saved? Does Pelosi use Botox?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
You Sure it's Peanut Butter
Another far left wing study, done for the NAACP, tends to smear the "Tea Party" people. Golly gee Molly did you expect anything else from the radicals that stick to President Obama like peanut butter?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
President Obama Breaks Wind
The Obama administration claims the stimulus created 50,000 jobs on wind farms. Many of the wind farms were built before the stimulus money began to flow or before President Obama was inaugurated.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
Obama's Bleak Future for Americans
President Obama says mid-term elections will set nation's future. If Democratic left liberals retain power expect more unemployment, taxes, spending, deficits & regulations as USA becomes like France!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 22 October 2010
