Taliban Leader Killed By UN Forces
Top Taliban leader killed in northern Afghanistan. That's the 2,011th one so far.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
A Successful Crossing!
Scientists at an Alabama University have successfully crossed a banjo with a chicken and have come up with a bird that plucks itself.
written by IN SEINE, 02 October 2010
Chasing Their Tails Again
FBI Targets Peace Activists For Terrorism Support! Also Raid Terrorist Camps Looking For Peace Activists!
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Come On Back Home!
Band of America suspends foreclosures in 23 states. "We can't sell them either."
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Costs Run Over A Bit
President Obama's $814 billion economic stimulus plan is meeting its targets for spending & job creation, at $2 million per job, White House officials say, however unpopular it may be with the public.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Don't Have To Be Terrorists
US considers warning Americans in Europe to stay away from public places like soccer matches due to terror, ass-kicking threats.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Strikers At The Table
Striking South African workers are returning to the negotiating table. "All that striking has built me up an appetite", says foreman.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Maliki Gets Nod From Shiite
Maliki gets Shiite nod to head new Iraqi government. "Like everyone else, we have some Good Shiite and some Bad Shiite."
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Sang "Hello Dolly"
Congo opposition figure allegedly escapes kidnapping attempt by disguising himself as the late Louie Armstrong.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Only 30 More Days
Dems, GOP recalibrate strategy a month to election by visiting local cemeteries, copying down voter's names.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
New TV Poll!
In a new poll from the southern United States, 82% of the people still think that Winfrey's first name is Okra!
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
US Consumer Spending Up 4 per cent.
Set to fall again after Ellis Ian and Mrs Fields returned to UK last week after stateside holiday.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 October 2010
New EC Austerity Measures - 3
Ireland reacts to EC tax rate criticism: "No fair! Why are you always picking on me? Belgium did it too!"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 October 2010
Daily Express Publisher's Profits Down 78 Per Cent.
"We've been losing too many readers. It's the Express readers' exploding head syndrome, I guess," said a group spokesman.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 October 2010
Apparently Not Scared Shitless
Most US and Europe concerned this morning as the latest terrorist's threats have upped the warning systems to "Brown!"
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Thinking Outside the Box
US Defense Department interested in renting Chilean mine for prison to replace Gitmo. Prisoners placed half a mile down will be closer to their 72 virgins.
written by Nailer, 02 October 2010
Bin Laden Showing Off A Bit
In 2nd tape, bin Laden urges Pakistan flood relief and told everyone to notice that he is now appearing in 3D.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Bin Laden Tape Two
In 2nd tape, bin Laden urges Pakistan flood relief. Also, that former CEO of BP Oil come and pick up his check.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Bin Laden Take Two
In 2nd tape, bin Laden urges Pakistan flood relief. Also, that Miley Cyrus come and dance in front of him.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
The Men Love Him!
In 2nd tape, bin Laden urges Pakistan flood relief, requests a copy of the latest from Justin Bieber.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
"Alleged" Even Miss The Virgins
Two suspected American missile strikes killed 12 alleged militants in a northwestern Pakistan tribal region Saturday. "They're the worse ones, those alleged militants", stated one officer.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Pot Vote Increasing Numbers?
Marijuana initiatives could bring young Democrats to the polls or it could lead them to try voting in bathroom stalls.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Clinton Volunteers
Former president Bill Clinton volunteers to head up the new Democrat "Stimulus Bill!"
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
W.H. Defends Stimulus Bill
White House defends economic stimulus plan. "If it takes $2 Million to create a good job, we'll get it back in taxes over the next 25 years!"
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
California Decriminalizes Pot
SCHWARZENEGGER DECRIMINALIZES MARIJUANA POSSESSION IN CA.! "Just as long as we don't catch you smoking it. Provide yourself a pot den."
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Latino Host Fired
LATINO HOST FIRED FROM CNN, CALLS JON STEWART 'BIGOT'! But then cannot explain what a 'bigot' is. "He has big belly!"
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
Avatar To Now Be Released in 1 Dimension
James Cameron set to Re-re-release Avatar in 1 Dimension.
Click here for full story.
written by ronin47empire, 02 October 2010
I Was At Vatican
US judge asks Vatican to serve court paper to Pope after popemobile spotted doing 85MPH in 10 MPH Zone.
written by Bureau, 02 October 2010
