Rove Drops 'H' Word
Karl Rove drops "H" word on Obama over social security cut and it wasn't "Horse's ass"!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Madden 11 Available Today: In other news, all of the men in your office with a PS3 are sick.
Madden 11 Available Today: In other news, all of the men in your office with a PS3 are sick.
written by anthonyrosania, 12 October 2010
Lending Money Really, Really Down!
Amount of money lent to small businesses plunges to lowest levels since time began.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Well It Sounded Good
Brit Ministers change wording of voting reform referendum after original 'too difficult to understand'. "It's been changed and update till NO One knows what it says one."
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Warden Wants Change
Thousands of prisoners jailed indefinitely for the public's protection 'should be freed immediately and set out by the political opposition headquarters: 'Eoin McLennan-Murray!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
"I Have Two Brains" says Stephen Hawkings
"Whereas most of you peons have only one brain, I have two," said Stephen Hawkings in a recent interview, "They aren't bigger, just better."
written by Jean Le Fete, 12 October 2010
Wisconsin Doesn't Belong in the Top 20 Says Ohio State
Wisconsin football fans are fuming after Ohio State football fans dissed their team and said the Wisconsin Badgers are actually just overgrown hamsters.
written by Jean Le Fete, 12 October 2010
Why I Never Married: Mr. Ed
"Mares! They're all the same!" said Mr Ed in his retirment paddock in Florida. "All they want is more, more, more, more! And I don't have the balls to give to 'em no more, I'mmmmm a geldin'"
written by Jean Le Fete, 12 October 2010
Lindsay Lohan's Secret: I have Two
Lindsay Lohan was given a medical leave of absence from prison today when it was discovered she was actually pregnant twice. "She is three months and two months pregnant," said a startled physician.
written by Jean Le Fete, 12 October 2010
Might Be Best To Send Him Back
Arizona TERROR: Illegal arrested in stabbing, decapitation. President Obama will consider deportation.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Could No Longer Stand Himself
Sewer worker who survived being washed through a mile of underground pipe, commits sewercide!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Overturning Outhouses Begins Early
Teen Arrested For Tipping 'Port-O-Potty' With Boy Inside. Youngster hosed off by local fire department after being freed by 'Stalls Of Life'!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Asteroid To Whisk By Earth Today
An asteroid larger than a double-decker bus is to pass within 28,000 miles of Earth on Tuesday, but has no chance of hitting the planet, unless provoked, Nasa has said.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Google Actually Doing Something!
Google Inc. said it will invest in a $5 billion underwater transmission network that can harvest electricity from wind farms off the Mid-Atlantic coast. Opponents warn about electricity spill.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Shoe Shot At Obama
JEWISH PROTESTERS HURL SHOES AT 'OBAMA' IN TEL AVIV! Popular game where you toss roped shoe toward Obama Poster catching on in other countries.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Attacks On Gov. Workers, DC Restaurants
Terror threat to restaurants; Al Qaeda calls for attacks on government workers, restaurants, in DC. However, not all that eat there all that disappointed.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Soros No Help This Time
George Soros, the billionaire financier who was an energetic Democratic donor in the last several election cycles but is sitting this one out. "You've made your bed pan, now sleep in it."
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Plenty Of Collector Jobs Available
SHOCK POLL: 85% Angry With Economy! Over 10,00 bill collectors disappeared last month.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Payback Time In Nigeria
California to Sell 24 Government Buildings. Ten Different Nigerians now own The Golden Gate Bridge.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Dollar Dips To Quater
Cities Face Half a Trillion Dollars of Pension Deficits. "We could print more money but it would only be worth half of what it's worth now."
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Investors Rattled
Stocks drop as Fed rate-setter rattles investors a bit by saying, "The dollar is worthless!"
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
UK wicked father hoses down his son becaused he had wet pants!
A UK father was jailed because his son kept wetting his pants so he thought he'd be really clever and wet them himself with cold water and a hose. The boy didn't like it, he prefers the warm feeling!
written by unknown
Meg Whitman Calls Jerry Brown a Gigolo
Jerry Brown, called his opponent, Meg Whitman a "F*cking Whore".
In response, Meg Whitman countered that Jerry Brown was "a God-Damned C*cksucking Gigolo".
written by Moose, 12 October 2010
It's Only Just Began
Factbox: Oil spill claims total $1.2 billion in seven weeks, including a man who cut his little toe on a tarred seashell, requiring seven band aids.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
No Early Bonuses For Poor Old Banks
Not many early bonuses for Wall Street banks, no early or late social security raises: experts.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Other Countries To Drill For Oil In Gulf?
Gulf of Mexico oil spill will push up costs and reduce the number of offshore oil & gas operators in U.S. waters for a long time to come, oil company executives. Meanwhile Cuba can drill, spill away!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Jets Beat The Favre Out Of Vikings!
Jets overcome Favre's milestones, gallstones for 29-20 win!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Cruise Ship Gets Name
British cruise ship named for queen, Brucie The Great!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Supremes To Hear Vaccine Case
Supreme Court hears case about vaccine side effects as 650-pound man greased through doorway.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Russia's Plan To Blow Up Foes In Battle
Russian military looks to invest in inflatable decoy weapons like tanks, naked blow-up dolls in trees.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Ebony Magazine Turns 65
Oprah Winfrey tries to buy up all copies of #1 issue with her 20-year-old face on it!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
White House opposes broad foreclosure moratorium!
"We can't just sit back and allow this to happen to our broads", states tactful VP Joe Biden.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Parts Of Earth Drying Up!
Large Swaths of Earth Drying Up, Study Suggests. "We blame it on a drought", says spokesman!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Be All That You Can Be!
Pfizer to buy King Pharma for $3.6 billion in cash, release latest King Pharma Viagra!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Kim's Older Son Objects
Playboy son of North Korea leader raps succession plan that placed youngest brother ahead of him. "He's the same nutjob as the old man!"
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Hot off the Press
The wife of The trapped Chilean miner, Pablo Ramirez is set to be the first to have a book published before they have even been rescued. The book, called "Mine Camp" tells of her struggle in the Atacama Desert.
written by IN SEINE, 12 October 2010
Obama Has Had Book Thrown at Him
Barack Obama has had "the" book thrown at him during a rally in Philadelphia. "The" book was Tony Blair's autobiography which weighed about 30lb was thrown by a protester shouting "plagiarist!"
written by IN SEINE, 12 October 2010
Lambert Playing It Safe!
Adam Lambert to play it safe for Malaysia concert. Will only kiss male members of the band before leaving hotel and not on stage.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Vaccine Side Effects
Supreme Court hears case about vaccine side effects as Idaho man shows off his second penis. "Not that I'm complaining."
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Jump In Whale Deaths
Jump in whale deaths blamed on krill, ship traffic, claims Japan!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
China Auto Sales Down
China auto sales growth slows as demand moderates. However, repair shops are booming.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Clinton Urges Reform
Clinton urges reform in Bosnia, bringing back horrible memories of ducking bullets as she got off helicopter.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Hillary Sitting Out Election!
CAPITAL CULTURE: Clinton is sitting this one out. "Another two years with this guy in charge and they'll install me as President without bothering to vote!"
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Rove Denies Rumors
Rove denies GOP gets money from foreign sources. "Who do you think we are, Bill & Hillary Clinton in China?"
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Alaska couple converts pickup into Radio Flyer car !
Alaska politician converts herself into television comedy star!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Statements likely in Guantanamo detainee's trial !
As that's what usually happens in court cases.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Change In Chihuahua
Change of Guard in Chihuahua Brings "Little Hope", who looks so much like that little Taco Bell dog in those ads a few years ago.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
What Housing Market?
Foreclosure freeze could undermine non-existent housing market! Then what would we do?
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Book Thrower To Appear In Court?
Attention-seeking author hurls his book at Obama afraid that judge may throw the book at him.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Senior citizens brace for Social Security freeze
Democrat senior citizens tell Democrats to brace themselves for ballot box freeze!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Nobel Prize Controversy
China dissident wants wife to collect Nobel prize. China, President Obama object!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Obama accuses Republicans of peddling "snake oil"
Republicans accuse Obama of trying to "worm out" of causing US financial mess.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Cause Of Sludge Mess!
Company that helped create chemical spill in Hungary brought in on the red carpet!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Japanese Being Closely Watched In Miami
Dolphin hunt goes on in Japan town despite protests from Greenpeace, Miami football players.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Winner Of Booger Prize To Be Announced
Winner of Booger Prize to be announced in London. I'm sorry, that should be "Booker Prize".
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Peace Not Reachable #2
Deputy PM: Israel officials doubt peace reachable. "Not unless we flatten everyone around us."
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Peace Not Reachable?
Deputy PM: Israel officials doubt peace reachable. "Of course, I'm merely going by the past 63 years."
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Side Effects #3
Supreme Court hears case about vaccine side effects and shows court where penis used to be.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Vacine Side Effects #2
Supreme Court hears case about vaccine side effects as man shows ten inch ears!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Vaccine Side Effects
Court hears case about vaccine side effects. "Our Arnold grew feathers around his tail!"
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Clash Over Retirement
Sarkozy faces showdown over retirement reform. Tells French that "We simply cannot begin retirement at 50. Develop a handicap of some kind."
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Statue of Liberty Captured!
A photographer captured the moment when lightning struck the Statue of Liberty. "Is it a sign from God?" he said.
written by IN SEINE, 12 October 2010
Pelosi & Reid Not Helping
Is Nancy Pelosi a political liability in the midterms? Is the Speaker and Harry Reid the Dems Newt Gingrich? Turn in November 2nd for "As The Worms Turn".
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Shotgun Style!
Forget Big Asteroids: It's the Smaller Rocks That Sneak In and Blow Up! They could wipe out all communication satellites in one day.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Senior citizens brace for Social Security freeze! #6
Seniors say they may make special discount for medicine deal with Mexican Drug Cartel.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Senior citizens brace for Social Security freeze! #5
So this is the 'Caring for the little guy' president?
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Seniors Encourage Author: Throw The Book At Him!
Attention-seeking author hurls his book at Obama. Arrested. Promises to turn over a new page!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Senior citizens brace for Social Security freeze! #4
Remember this when we freeze you out of the White House!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Senior citizens brace for Social Security freeze #3
Senior group caught making plans to catch President and lock him in a freezer for several hours.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Senior citizens brace for Social Security freeze #2
Where has the government frozen CEO wages?
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Ship's Cheap Chip Shop Chopped
Navy converts chippies on ships into spud-u-likes to reduce impact of cuts.
written by Mercy Me, 12 October 2010
Senior citizens brace for Social Security freeze!
Tell Obama he can kiss Florida goodbye, also our ass!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Too Much TV Harms Children
Too much TV psychologically harms children: study. "Also evolutionary as their eyes are getting larger & weaker."
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Why Not Wait Till They're All Safe?
Trapped Miners' kin struggle with jealousy, rivalries. Argue over whose husband is bravest.
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Everybody Upset Over Economy
Who's upset over the economy? Everybody, everywhere. Name your location!
written by Bureau, 12 October 2010
Stabbed man's death not suspicious; he died of natural causes, say bungling Kent police.
They claim the six inch knife in his back was "just a coincidence."
written by Thibarine, 12 October 2010
Girls don't just aspire to be Wags, they want to earn their own money thanks to the X Factor, a new survey shows.
84 percent of teenagers no longer envy Coleen Rooney - they now realise they can make their own cash, just like boot camp troll Chloe Mafia.
written by Thibarine, 12 October 2010
Russians unveil decoy MIG "jet fighter" stitched together in a hot air balloon factory.
Iran retaliates with a Kalashnikov-knitting program.
written by Thibarine, 12 October 2010
One of the Chilean miners admits: "I'm terrified to go back up there."
His wife has been holding a vigil, clutching a photo of their baby. Unfortunately so have his mistress and girlfriend.
written by Thibarine, 12 October 2010
Guinness Book of Records up in arms as "33 Chilean miners" story proves to be a complete fabrication.
Turns out only 32 of the men are from Chile - the other guy's a Bolivian!
written by Thibarine, 12 October 2010
Justin Bieber to launch his own brand of nail polish.
If this venture works out I may get into women's knickers, he tells the press.
written by Thibarine, 12 October 2010
The "vajazzle", or sequin-covered lady garden is completely passé, fashionistas agree.
Mirrorball muff is so last year as style icons and supermodels queue up for the latest downstairs body art - the twattoo.
written by Thibarine, 12 October 2010
George Michael "a reformed character" after being let out of jail early for good behaviour.
The jubilant singer declares: "I feel like a new man!"
written by Thibarine, 12 October 2010
Mr Ed Comes Out of Retirement to Run For President
Mr Ed of the 1960's tv comedy of the same name, has recently come out his pasture to speak his mind. "I may be senile, but horses don't have half the gas of these politicians. I say....oops I forgot.
written by Jean Le Fete, 12 October 2010
Palin Caught Impersonating Ronald Reagan's Horse
Sarah Palin, who recently said, "I'm just like Ronald Reagan." Did an uncanny imitation of Ronald Reagan's horse when she got on all fours and winnied at the crowd of a Senator she is supporting.
written by Jean Le Fete, 12 October 2010
Sarah Palin Hates Tea Parties!
Sarah Palin today read a list of top ten dislikes on stage at a rally for Senator. 10 was "I hate people who hate guns." 9 was "I hate people who hate me for hating people who hate guns.
written by Jean Le Fete, 12 October 2010
New Spoof Magazine Series Enters THE SPOOF!
THe Spoof inner-sanctum, an insane surreal world that you've never seen before about being a new spoof writer. Now totaling 9 chapters, be sure not miss this incredible story!!
written by Jean Le Fete, 12 October 2010
Common Sense is Hard to Find these Days
School administrators don't know what to do about bullying. The jackasses will try something like strip searching 12 year old girls for lost money or expelling a kid having a plastic butter knife!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 October 2010
Moonbeam
Former California Governor Jerry Brown was labeled "Moonbeam" in 1978. Some Californians think the former governor is still chasing rainbows, in his campaign to be California's next governor!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 October 2010
Gender Discrimination
FEMINIST 1: What's the difference between a Democratic woman candidate and a Republican woman candidate? FEMINIST 2: Nothing, except the National Organization of Women never supports the latter!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 October 2010
Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee Abandoning Incumbents
The DCCC is throwing some Democratic US House incumbents under the bus, who will probably lose to their GOP opponents, by cancelling their TV ad buys. The money can be used for "other things!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 October 2010
Democratic National Committee Fesses-Up
DNC admits Iran's President Ahmadinejad is moonlighting as a Democratic operative, secretly supporting Obama. He conjured up the whopper that the US Chamber of Commerce has ties to foreign donors.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 October 2010
Stimulus Package Spending Limitation
VP Biden wanted to include twice as much spending in the Stimulus Package passed last year. "Joe the Printer" at the US Mint told the vice president that they only had enough paper for $870 billion!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 October 2010
Improving the US Economy
ECONOMIST 1: What will be the required unemployment number in November 2012 to improve the US economy? ECONOMIST 2: One, namely President Obama!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 October 2010
Halloween Decorations
It's not Halloween yet, but the White House continues to get more slimed as the November elections grow closer and closer for the Democrats.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 October 2010
Not a Shoe this Time
The Secret Service is investigating a book thrown at President Obama, narrowly missing him, at a rally at Vernon Park in Philadelphia PA. The book was entitled the Wealth of Nations, by Adam Smith!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 12 October 2010
