Pope Promises Compensation for Abuse Victims
The Pope has taken person charge of compensating abuse victims. He said, "These are not empty promises, we are going to put our money where our mouth was."
written by Xavier, 01 October 2010
'Ain't No Mountain Higher!'
Denise Van Outen has discovered 1.5 kg of cocaine in the Andes village of Machu Picchu. It is estimated that the value of the drug could be as much as £100,000 pounds. NOW THAT IS HIGH!
written by IN SEINE, 01 October 2010
US reveal secret weapons syphilis and gonorrhea didn't work!
The US military has revealed it attempted to defeat it's enemies by infecting them with venereal diseases, it didn't work so they "nuked" the bastards!
written by unknown
Obstacles on the Sixth Hole
This hole is the most Welsh in the Ryder Cup: no fairway; sheep running riot and the flag replaced with rugby posts. Will need 12 shots (more than Wales will get in Euro 2012)
written by masterchev, 01 October 2010
Massive Cutbacks at Public Cemetaries in Europe
Grave consequences expected...
written by Mercy Me, 01 October 2010
Obstacles on the Fifth Hole
This short par 3 is easily managable if you hit the green... if Lady Gaga didn't decide to dress up specifically for the event. And avoid Victoria Beckham with her new hat: that's not the flag.
written by masterchev, 01 October 2010
Obstacles on the Fourth Hole
The fourth hole is covered with Obama enthusiasts. Recommended you take a bi. I mean a by.
written by masterchev, 01 October 2010
Obstacles on the Third Hole
The third hole contains a variety of bunkers and thick patches of grass. Ideal for you Mr. Woods if you get the urge to find Nigella Lawson or Kate Thornton.
written by masterchev, 01 October 2010
Obstacles on the Second Hole
The second hole, a Dog Leg Left, literally has a dog leg left on the playing field. Thought to be from nearby dumpster.
written by masterchev, 01 October 2010
Obstacles on the First Hole. (1 of 18)
The first hole is 250 yards, and is littered with homeless Romanian people who were kicked out of France
written by masterchev, 01 October 2010
Sarkozy opens "France World"
People must use "Park Tickets" to enter after Nicolas pissed off the EU.
written by masterchev, 01 October 2010
Print workers boycot script in boldcase
Boldcase association fights back
written by churchmouse, 01 October 2010
Ireland: Danger Averted
Ireland's broken economy has seen the worst.
Policy makers announced they will fix the problems with a carbon tax, a national broadband network and a very fast train between Dublin and Cork.
written by John Cavanagh, 01 October 2010
New Flat Volcanoes Discovered Across World
The new volcanoes are highly explosive and prone to fume without warning, due to their flat and shapeless forms.
Scientists are calling the phenomenon a "resurgence of feminism".
written by theuncertaintyprinciple, 01 October 2010
Britney still bonkers - official.
Britney Spears to remain under her father's care, rules an LA judge.
written by Thibarine, 01 October 2010
Local man attacked by a troupe of mime artists.
"They performed unspeakable acts on me....."
written by matthatt, 01 October 2010
New EC Austerity Measures - 2
Portugal says: "How come Ireland gets to play Playstation? It's just not fair! I hate you!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 October 2010
Vatican Bank Officials Quizzed
Said magistrate: "They were good on religion and some science and nature questions, but films and music let them down."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 October 2010
International Court delivers opinion on Reference re Secession of Isle of Wight & Isle of Man
(Hague, Netherlands): Historic 8-versus-7 ruling grants men in midlife crises right to secede and form new nation-state: Isle of Wight-Man.
written by SpaceElevator, 01 October 2010
They Left Out Self Inflicted Brain Rot
A study just released by a rabid environmentalist group blames climate disruption for causing bed bugs, athlete's foot, constipation, body odor, warts, dandruff, baldness and diaper odor.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 October 2010
Consumer Product Safety Commission's New Guidelines
CPSC to issue new guidelines concerning rulers, rubber bands & paper clips for science kits for use by children under the age of 12 years. Apparently there is not enough work to do in Washington DC!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 October 2010
EPA Issues New Regulations on Toxic Spills
EPA says 10 million gallons of urine are inadvertently spilled on men's room floors every day. President Obama will ask Congress for $50 billion to hire federal inspectors to clean up the problem!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 October 2010
Postal Regulatory Commission Denies Rate Increase
The independent PRC that oversees the USPS voted to deny an increase of 2 cents in the cost of mailing a first class letter. The USPS will cut costs by only delivering mail on Wednesdays & Saturdays!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 October 2010
Tax Relief You Can See
It's once again safe to take your wallet, wife/kids and the family jewels out of the safe, from under the bed or from the tin can buried in the backyard! The US Congress has gone home to campaign!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 October 2010
No Surprise
A new Pew poll indicates that only six out of 10 people could correctly identify Joe Biden as the current US vice president. This is no surprise, as President Obama doesn't even recognize him!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 October 2010
Political Lexicon 2010
President Obama's senior advisor David Axelrod said "I do think this is going to be an idiosyncratic election." Republicans are hoping to remove Obama's Democratic idiot sycophants from Congress!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 01 October 2010
