Breaking News: Breaking News Snippet Posted About Breaking News!
BIRMINGHAM - Spoofer Inhopeless, referenced himself in a spoof today, which was about breaking news, which in turn, was a spoof about breaking news. The news was that he won some money. Well... £10.50
written by Inhopeless, 13 November 2010
Mom Not Like That At All!
Bush on post-presidency: 'I miss being pampered'...'powdered and pottied.'
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Latest NHS Video
Pornography? No, just the latest NHS video to encourage teenagers to use condoms, especially when having sex.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Pelosi Gone Over The Edge
Nancy Pelosi says she would like to do new Pepsi commercials like the old Michael Jackson ones. Asks if they would change name to Pelosi Cola. "Needs rubber room & rubber sheets", Dems tell Obama.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Another Airplane Incident
Mid-air safety scare as pilots lose control of Airbus with 43 passengers on board. Second incident. No grounding. Might want to consider purchasing extra insurance.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
The Very Latest
Drudge Reports: Taliban mount series of new attacks in Afghanistan. First time that has happened in...maybe two hours.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Myanmar's Aung San Suu Kyi, Free after Seven Years of House Arrest
Myanmar's pro-democracy leader's first words were, "I'm going to Disney World."
written by JAB, 13 November 2010
Tiger Played like a Prat with a Pratt at the Australian Masters
Tiger Woods paired with Aussie Kieran Pratt said his "putter wasn't working."
written by JAB, 13 November 2010
Amazon Hiring Temps!
Amazon.com to hire thousands to fill orders. Watch for Dems, GOP to each take credit for more jobs in November & December Holidays and not mention the layoffs in January.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Sharon Angle Doing Viagra Commercial
Angle, who lost a senate race against Harry Reid, standing in front of five Harry look alikes says, "Man Up Harry!" Pfizer says sales are up as well.
written by JAB, 13 November 2010
Iraq Still A Bit Unsettled
In Iraq today, an argument by Shiites and Sunnis over how many people were blown up in an attack, leads to bloodshed.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Watch For It On EBay Soon
Government sells spoils of Madoff's lavish life including over 100 young ladies in Thailand and the Philippines that has just come out.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Not That There's Anything Wong With That
Among the banks helping General Motors with its initial public stock offering next week are two identified by initials only: ICBC and CICC, both Chinese! Look for the Wong Wagon out next summer.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Amazon Pulls Books
Amazon has pulled an electronic book about pedophilia from its online store after complaints and a boycott threat. Next to pull looks like the one "How To Hang One's Self".
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
UN Ambassador Upset
UN Ambassador from Sierra Leone stays on floor for an hour trying to convince everyone that there IS a Sierra Leone. "and NO, we do not have a Sierra Mist! Ambassador from Kyflockadoodlestan agrees!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
This Is Rediculous!
U.S. officials try to address air security worries. "I spend more time having my cavities checked than I do flying", says one pilot!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Tea Party Visits Az Guv!
Members of the Tea Party are visiting Arizona as tourists to encourage their Governor. Seeing this, Arkansas officials print & spread pamphlets saying "Come See Our Cactus Filled With Sand Museum.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Ryan Air to charge for Emotional bagage
Cheep airline RyanAir will introduce extra charges for customers who travel with too much emotional baggage.
The announcement came a day after the release of the Annual Calendar of crew in swimwear
written by Thenorris, 13 November 2010
Mind Wandering Can Lead To Pups
Mind Wandering May Lead to a Bad Mood Ring..what? Oh, I said ring. Well, nobody's right all the time Mr. Perfecto! Where was I?
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Utes Celebration Low Keyed
On this day in 1932, the state of Mormon officially changed it's name to Utah.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Easy Come, Easy Go!
Chinese workers build 15-story hotel in just six days. Tibetan nationalist blows it up in six seconds.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Always Wanted To Know
Today the states of Indiana, Illinois, Kansas, Missouri and Iowa went to war with each other over each claiming to be "The Heartland of America!"
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Left Off Several Windows, Doors
Chinese workers build 15-story hotel in just six days, forget to leave door on bottom floor. Rescued by helicopters and finish job.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Mississippi Governor Not Happy
Yesterday the Governor of the state of Mississippi blamed all the flooding there this summer on "Whatever asshole decided to name the state after a river!"
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Obama Turns To Russia?
Obama turns to Russian diplomacy as Asia trip ends. Russia having such a great humanitarian and easy-going record.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
One Dropped From Pants Leg
Heavy Wally-World shopper caught with $258 in groceries hidden in the seat of her pants.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Barack Obama Has An Agent?
President Obama's agent says that, despite TV, radio, newspaper and web reports, his client did pretty fair at G-20 Conference!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Maine Still There
The state of Maine would like to announce that it is still there, even without Jessica Fletcher, L.L. Bean!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
High Rise Condoms Out
Site of proposed high-rise condoms, retail space foreclosed upon. Sorry, that should be 'condos'.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
But We're Afraid To Say Anything!
This morning a conference by members of Greenpeace stated that Stephen King has personally destroyed 22% of the Amazon Rain Forest!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Saudi's Reject Death Sentence
Saudi court rejects death sentence for TV psychic, just as he predicted!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Small Shake Hits PR, Dominican Republic
Small quake shakes it but doesn't break it in Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Outlawed Circumcision #3
Proposed ballot measure would outlaw circumcision in San Fran. Tree Clinic to furnish 'Tips'.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
No Circumcision!
Proposed ballot measure would outlaw circumcision in San Fran. Airport Security to pass on information.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Circumcision Outlawed
Proposed ballot measure would outlaw circumcision in San Fran. Also, 'Ring Around The Collar'"
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Al Franken Confession
Al Franken admits to reporters that his family name was once Frankenstein in the old country.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
All We Have Is Franken
Brazil tests literacy of clown elected to Congress. Britain does the same for three elected Village Idiots.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
DC The Capitol Alright
7 of 10 richest counties -- surround DC. 6 of 10 best paid prostitutes!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Arafat Museum To Open?
Arafat Museum May Open Soon! Abbas vows to walk in Arafat's nosesteps.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
He's Had No Batting Practice
ABCNEWS: Obama strikes out in Asia. Got on base with a hit shoe in stop-overs on his way home.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Arafat Museum #2
Arafat museum in the works. Ringo Starr asked if he was available to pose for pics.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Arafat Museum?
Arafat museum in the works. Will be open for six-months and then blow itself up!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Michael Jackson From The Grave
GROOVES FROM THE GRAVE: Michael Jackson duet with Akon downloads Monday. Features just released for the Holidays, "Christmas Is Just Around The Coroner!"
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
And WHO Helped Make It That Way?
A Secret WALMART in-store video shows that the average American ass is twice it's size it was in 1975.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Hey Guys, Heads Up!
San Fransisco says it may create a non-circumcision law, about time we 'ring' in the Holidays.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
UK Health Policy
MCDONALD'S, KFC, PEPSICO to help write UK health policy. Most wish they would do that here.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
"Driving The Devil's Herd..."
On this date in 1967, President & Texan Lyndon Baines Johnson, in the middle of anti-Vietnam group, sang "Ghost Riders In The Sky" in answer to all their questions!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Sunscreen Causes Rickets
Sunscreen causing rickets in middle class UK children. Looks like 'it's the devil or the deep red burn'.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Fake News Also, Since Your Start In San Diego!
Rush Limbaugh calls California the Land of Fake Eyebrows, Boobs, Butts, Hair, Teeth and Personalities!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Bums On Tv!
1,300 Security Cameras Now Installed in NYC. Singing winos video sold to America's Favorite Bloopers, win charge account of $1,000 at bar of their choice.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Another Evolution Myth
The Board of Education in Arkansas today rejected the theory of there ever being a Plastic Man, in 1970 DC!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
1,300 Security Cameras
1,300 Security Cameras Now Installed in NYC. Bag Lady stripper causes two officials on project to miss a week because of stomach problems.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Internet Czar #2
INTERNET CZAR: Online 'Privacy' Watchdog Planned. Will monitor your porn time and given choice of being revealed to community or you can send in $50 monthly payment to keep quiet.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Internet Czar
INTERNET CZAR: Online 'Privacy' Watchdog Planned. Many checked to see how much porn they're watching.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Scared The Kids
Pelosi: 'We Didn't Lose Because of Me'! "I had my face right out front while others shied away!"
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Peotesting Abuse Of Passengers
NJ lawmakers to urge congressional review of procedures, reports of abuse after hearing about the new "Airport Search Network" on cable.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Teddy Bully On Names!
On the day in 1900 Teddy Roosevelt, disgusted with several Central American countries carrying on gorilla warfare, first used expression "Banana Republics".
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
NY Cancels Indoor Skiing!
NY town cancels $2B resort with indoor skiing. Upset by Obama at conference, Chinese cancel loan!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Cruises Upset!
Customers really upset over leaving home on the Bridge To Nowhere and taking cruise on Boat To Nowhere.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Airlines Add Flights
Alaska Airlines adds Portland-Kona-Bridge To Nowhere flights!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Kayne Cancels On 'Today'
Kanye West cancels upcoming 'Today' performance after they refuse to play Beyonce video.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Spike In Dengue In Brazil
Spike in dengue has Brazil on alert for epidemic. Spike given only 10% chance of surviving.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
US/China Space Telescope
NASA's new space telescope costs shoot the moon. $150 million may be financed by Chine provided we share photos.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Fossil Site Shifts Indoors
Crews shifting work from fossil site to museum. "It's a lot more comfortable digging in here", says professor.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Geraldo Wants A Piece Of This!
Leadership struggle averted by House Democrats. Non-telivised duel date to be determined.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
For The 50th Time: Earmark Reforms!
Obama calls for earmark reform, GOP calls for ban, Tea Party says NO to whatever President endorses!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
China Will Not Increase US Imports
Justin Bieber's Appearance On Vampire Diaries In March, 2011. Most believe he is half right.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Porn Shop Lottery Ticket Wins #2
Ticket bought at Michigan porn shop worth $129M. Purchaser of "6-Inch Extender For Two-Inch Men" ask that his name not be given out.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Porn Shop Ticket Wins Lottery
Ticket bought at Michigan porn shop worth $129M. Purchaser of "The All-Male Bum Dildo" ask that his name not be given out.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Dick Cheney to join Bush on book tour
Former president George Bush will be personally signing copies of his memoir, "Decision Points". Former VP Dick Cheney will be personally crossing out the passages that threaten national security.
written by Q. William Bacon, 13 November 2010
More Exorcists Needed #3
Catholic bishops: More exorcists needed. Charles Manson: Bring It On!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Need More Exorcisms Needed #2
Catholic bishops: More exorcists needed after invention of new special pea-soup collectors.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Medicare Pay Cuts
Doctors brace for possible big Medicare pay cuts. Medicare patients brace for Doctor's patient list cuts.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Chinese Busy
Chinese workers build 15-story hotel in just six days. Earth tremor brings it back down in six seconds.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Scanner Photos Ready #2
Thousands of scanner photos pile up as collectors ready for the first "Best Of Scanner Pics Calendar For 2011!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Scanner Photos Ready
Thousands of scanner photos pile up as collectors ready for #8 of "Scanner Playmates' released.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Several Simply Removing Clothes
'Naked' airport scanners may be 'dangerous', especially to pilots, airline workers who are scanned daily.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
French Apologize
French rail sorry for deporting Jews to Nazi camps. Apologize come after only 66 years.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
No Deals: You'll Be Gone In 2 Years
Obama makes free trade push at Pacific Rim summit. Everybody else pushes him back.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Butler inmate remains at large!
After sheriff, deputies, jury and mystery readers all believe found him to be guilty.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Study: Minds Wandering Not Good At Work
Letting your mind wander can be dangerous. You could wind up with a stump for a hand on assembly lines.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
NFL Letting Hair Down #3
Players all across NFL are letting their hair down. "Give me a lineman with hair, long beautiful hair!"
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
NFL Letting Hair Down #2
Players all across NFL are letting their hair down. Two players hair to use KY-Jelly to get helmets off after a game.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
NFL Letting Hair Down
Players all across NFL are letting their hair down. Say long hair help buffer you against helmet licks to the head.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Boise State Still Playing Weak Teams
No. 4 Boise State routs state rival Idaho Spuds 52-14. Next up: Podunk U.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
G-20 Fallout
G-20 fallout: Trade barriers, tensions could rise as Tea Party Seek ban of cheap Chinese products.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Murkowski confident in re-election chances
Murkowski confident in re-election chances although authorities highly suspicious of those who spelled her name RIGHT!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Murkowski Confident Of Win
Murkowski confident in re-election chances although half her writ-ins spelled her name wrong.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
FBI After Top Maryland Official
FBI: Top county official, wife tried to hide cash. "Stick $80,000 in underwear. We'll mule the rest!"
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Our People Do Not Want Foreign Imports
Chinese leader vows open trade, stable currency for us as we head for #1. The rest of you can deal with it.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Mind Wandering May Lead to a Bad Mood
Especially if it's been on politics, finances and wars overseas lately!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Pelosi's Inward Battle
Catholic bishops: More exorcists needed. About to completely lose Pelosi by looks on her face.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
More Exorcists Needed #2
Catholic bishops: More exorcists needed: Several people in Washington need their heads spun!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
More Exorcists Needed
Catholic bishops: More exorcists needed: Especially those leaders in Iran, Venezuela and NKorea!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Too Much Paperwork, Too Little Pay
Doctors brace for possible big Medicare pay cuts, patients on medicare cut from doctor's list.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
A Simple Contrast
US researchers explain how cats lap liquids with elegance while Chinese workers build 15-story hotel in just six days.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
A New City Every Month
Chinese workers build 15-story hotel in just six days as Chinese economy goes soaring to the top!
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
The G-20 Spin
Obama says US, Asia will benefit from more trade even though no one backed him at G-20 Conference.
written by Bureau, 13 November 2010
Free Agent Derek Jeter Applies for Unemployment Benefits
"I just want to cover all the bases," he said.
written by Gail Farrelly, 13 November 2010
Bauxite Rallies At Eleventh Hour
The Elm makes a docile and reliable pet, though it can be skittish if deprived of chlorophyll. Oaks can be expensive to keep, and require lots of space. The Dwarf Redwood is a constant enigma.
written by Erskin Quint, 13 November 2010
Classifieds
Nadine Coyle's "Guess My Accent" Game - never used. £5 Aluminium Norman Wisdom Doorstop - £2.50 ONO Set of 15 Photographs of photographs of photographs of photographs of photographs of photographs.
written by Erskin Quint, 13 November 2010
Visit New Hampshire In The Fall
Charles II, Marie Antoinette, Mary Queen of Scots - all massive celebrities. All headless. Why not join them? Send us your head. We supply all packing materials and postage costs. www.we-buy-your-severed-limbs.com
written by Erskin Quint, 13 November 2010
Norway Can Be Nice In November
Do you really need your legs? We've got cars, stairlifts and motorised wheelchairs these days. Ironside got by without being able to walk. www.we-buy-your-severed-limbs.com
written by Erskin Quint, 13 November 2010
