Otherwise: Fair To Middlin'
Bad day as oil starts to wash ashore off Louisiana, stock market crashes and after three years condom rotted & stuck inside billfold.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Another Yogi Classic
Yogi Berra told ABC this morning (concerning baseball players using steroids), "I don't believe anything until somebody denies it."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #15
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages: "And where does that leave me? Up shit creek and without a saddle."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #14
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages: "I guess I'm back on track again..but it's all downhill..and I'm in a Toyota."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #13
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages: "Yeah, I'm barred from McDonalds. Some nerd with braces asked me if I wanted to fight for that, so I bashed him & ran out with my 2 cheeseburgers & Coke."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #12
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages: "I told them I knew my rights, even though I didn't, then told them to kiss my ass and slammed the door to the teacher's lounge. But that's not what I told Mom."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #11
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages "I think my son is rewriting his own history since meeting that new girlfriend. If there had been a rock band in the garage, I'm sure I would have heard it."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #10
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages: "John is out barhopping with his liver again."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
You Want Shocks With That?
All Micky D's restaurants now have been equipped with defibrillators.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Ignorant F*cking Bastard Writes a Spoof Snippet
And heres the proof.
written by unknown
Local Bastard Does Good Deed
Local Bastard Jimmy Bastard didn't piss against his neighbour's door today.
written by unknown
Local Man Wins Pissing Contest Versus Another Local Man
Barry Dangler came first, but was disqualified becasue it was a PISSING contest, not a WANKING contest.
The title went to Norbert Nubbins instead.
written by unknown
Goldilocks Gives Birth to Hairy Baby
She is keeping the father's name a secret.
The Three Bears have refused to make any comment on the matter.
written by unknown
Mother's Milk is Best
The milk in my mother's fridge is better than the milk in your mother's fridge.
written by unknown
Martin Sheen Edges Towards Louisiana Shore
Sorry...Oily sheen heads towards Louisiana shore...
written by Skoob1999, 06 May 2010
Jarred Wiring Loose!
Times Square bomber says wiring on bomb may have came loose during three hours he circled while attempting to find a parking spot.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
"I Could Eat A Live Chicken About Now!"
BP gives up on Gulf Coast as an oil tanker runs into a ship carrying chicken grease gathered from Churches, KFC and Popeyes to be recycled for fuel. Residents say that at least the smell has improved.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Pet Rescue Centre?
Pet rescue centre refuses to hand back lost dog to widow, saying: 'Sorry, we sold her to Korean restaurant'. Will widow get dog back? Tune in tomorrow for "As Penny Returns".
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Texas May Outdo Arizona
Texas may go farther than Arizona law with proposed "Shoot 'Em On Sight" Law up for vote.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Peter Proud
UKIP candidate Nigel Farage pulled alive from plane crash wreckage after erection banner catches in tail fin. "Just had to tell everyone", says Nigel.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #50
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Chuck E Cheeseballs" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #49
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Cracker Burro" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #48
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Chicken Expresso" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #47
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Turd In The Hole" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurnat Closes #46
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Captain Pees" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurnat Closes #45
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Carino's italian Gorilla" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #44
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Cheeseburger In Pair Of Dice" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #43
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Carumba, What's This?" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #42
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Black Angus McBeth" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #13
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages: "So I'm the one who finished off your mother's cake in the fridge. Will you please quit whining over it, Mama Boy?"
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #12
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages: "Larry and Arnold both say that Mr. Slaughter in Science class wears an adult diaper"!
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitches #11
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages: "So Sandra keeps going into Lois's facebook and deleting her friends. Isn't that a lark?
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitches #10
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages: "So Harold has been slipping in and hiding in her closet while she dresses."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Jackson Sale Fails
No bids for eccentric Michael Jackson portrait. "He looked more like Moms Mabley', says potential bidder.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Auction A Flop
Indonesian auction of ancient treasures falls flat as curse still applies, apparently.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
BP CEO's Definite Promise
BP: oil leak will be stopped, but can't say when. "Definitely within two years", states CEO.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
We'll Help, Under One Condition
Nashville residents return home to devastation. Thousands vow support for stricken families if Country Music Stars will NOT hold telethon.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Nigeria Loses President
Nigeria President Yar'Auta Heer dies after long illness!
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitches #9
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages "Old Mrs. Pinache in math class apparently sends secret love letters to boys in her class."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitches #8
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages "Janet Bryant says she's not going to wear any underwear tomorrow."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitches #7
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages "And when I woke up I had shit the bed."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitches Exposed #6
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages. "So the dog had been eating shit before it licked my face. Never ever tell anyone else!"
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Glitch Exposed #5
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages. "So I thought we might have sex while waiting for the traffic light to change. I'm a little drunk."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #4
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages. "Senior Jack Wilson has the hairiest balls in the whole school."
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Glitch Exposed #3
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages. Your girlfriend and secret partner are telling jokes about you to friends, you "stupid idiot".
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Facebook Glitch #2
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages. Your Aunt Martha's secret sweet potato casserole compromised.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Chat Line Exposed
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages. Your real mother lives somewhere in Hawaii.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
It's A Horse Race
UK election: Best bet is that history will be made, experts from Florida could be called in to help count ballots.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Markets Improving
European markets regain poise as eyes turn to anywhere but Greece!
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Goodluck Jnathon Now President
Goodluck Jonathan sworn in as Nigerian president. Your chances of getting that $100,000 out of bank account kept for you there, improve. However another $250 needed.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Do As We Say, Not As We Do
House takes up homeowner energy efficiency bill, forget and leaves the lights on.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
On The Rise!
Study: Older, unmarried, educated moms on rise. Also, a bad moon.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Chats Accicentall Revealed
Facebook glitch exposes chat messages. Veronica thinks you're stupid.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Highs & Lows
High-Pitched Women Prefer Deep-Voiced Men! Look at John and Yoko. Perhaps a better example. How about Miss Vickie and Tiny Tim?
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Lack Of Sleep Leads To The Big Sleep!
Lack of sheep linked to early death according to study. I'm sorry, that should have been, "Lack of sleep".
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Trial Run?
Official: NY car bomb suspect did a dry run. Vets who are now sidewalk salesmen first line of defense, shut him down.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Death Penalty Given
Court gives death penalty to Mumbai siege gunman. "This should teach him a lesson", say lawmakers.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
While Cinco de Mayo is being Celebrated in America
Cinco de Euro is nothing to celebrate in Greece.
written by Charpa93, 06 May 2010
Cnn-Con Leader Reports Progress
Conspiracy Conference spokesman reports progress at meetings, even though THEY were watching everything we did and thought.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #41
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Cheesecake Factory Rat" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #40
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service, No Shit!" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #39
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Jack's Handburgers" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #38
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Buggerville, USA" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #37
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Boshingles" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #36
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "International House of Bran Flakes" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 06 May 2010
