Don't Blame Bears
Due to Global Warming, Black bears hibernating instincts are off & that throws everything else off in their routines claims Al Gore after two black bears shit on his potted plants during the night.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Guess You Lose
The state of Arizona has upheld the law that all illegals must leave the state. However, outside the courthouse in Phoenix, officials were served notice by Tribal Chiefs of the Utes & Navajo.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Picasso Painting, "A Nude, Green Leaves and a Bust," sold for $106.5M
By our calculations, the buyer could have gotten a real live naked woman, several hundred plants, and a roll in the hay for about $106,498,350 cheaper.
written by Charpa93, 05 May 2010
Gulf Not To Worry
Representative from BP says that several products they have purchased from the late Billy Mays will clean that oil spill up overnight.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Bomber Once Deported
FBI: Time Square Bomber was once deported from France, Italy and Arizona.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Prisoner's Complaint
The most overheard phrase in prisons by guards? "Well, turn about is fair play."
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
A well-hung parliament is the last thing the Queen needs
Regardless of how many are actually hetero....
written by queen mudder, 05 May 2010
Conservatives' plan to crap public sector pensions 'not sensible'
Could have sworn that 'cap' is spelled with an 'r'...
written by queen mudder, 05 May 2010
Rush Limbaugh No Longer Largest Oil Slick in America
He now comes in a close second to the one caused by the BP oil spill.
written by Charpa93, 05 May 2010
Bush Was Closet Green!
Former President Bush was asked why so many papers were shredded before he left office. "My administration was heavily into recycling."
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Hope I'm Not Dead By Then
The National Order Of Pessimists plan to hold their annual convention in Los Angeles, if it's still there.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
The Fan Hits the Shit
Local Liverpool football fan Barry Nubbins ran onto the pitch and gave a slap to that little Argentinian shit Javier Mascherano in revenge for a previous assault.
written by unknown
The Shit Hits the Fan
Liverpool's little Argentinian shit Javier Mascherano lashed out at local football fan Barry Nubbins during a match today and broke his spectacles.
Barry has vowed revenge.
written by unknown
Every Dog Has His Day
"Mine's Tuesday", said Rex
written by unknown
Local man Arrested in connection with Theatre Tumble
Apparently he told the injured actor to 'break a leg' immediately before the incident.
written by unknown
Ex-Miss Universe Sues
Ex-Miss Universe sues for losing crown because she was nude in a photo widely circulated on the internet. "I was not naked. I had my crown on."
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Amazing Facts!
Increased sales improve BMW market. Before this, decreased sales had led to disapproval.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Chimps Say No!
Bonobo chimps filmed shaking their head, giving camera man the NYC salute, to 'say no'.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Russian MP Abducted By Aliens
A Russian MP has asked President Dmitry Medvedev to investigate claims by a regional president that he has met aliens on board a spaceship, forced him to drink a bottle of vodka.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Newsweek For Sale
The Washington Post has announced that it is exploring the possibility of selling Newsweek magazine. Admit that placing 44 pics of President Obama in 52 issues may have pushed it a bit.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Ass Shuts Down
Scottish, Irish and Northern Irish airports shut by ass. I'm sorry, that should have been "ash".
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Election On Knife's Edge
Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg are making their final day push for votes, as polls suggest the election result is on a knife edge. So let's hope they don't push too hard.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #35
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Horseapplebees" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #34
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Abominables Pizza" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #33
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "A & W Poot Beer" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #32
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Cheekers" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #31
Another victim of the bad economy, the last And last) "Shit On The Shingle, Army Surplus" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Pizzaria Makes Pizza the Size of Delaware
Unfortunately, it is so large, it cannot fit properly into any oven and must be destroyed.
written by Charpa93, 05 May 2010
See Their Favorites
Daily fans of TheSpoof demand their own private "Reader's Desk".
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Better Jailed Here Than Beheaded In Pakistan
'I was expecting you. Are you NYPD or FBI? Boom! BOOM!!' What failed Times Square bomber said as he was arrested on flight to Dubai.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Announcement Takes One Hour To Center Podium Stance
Too little (and too much) sleep can increase risk of premature death, scientist with OCD reveals.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Three Eyes, Four Breasts
Rarely-seen Picasso portrait of his mistress sold for a world-record $106.5m at auction. "She looked like an alien", stated several bidders.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #30
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Taco Hell" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #29
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Blimpies(With The Extra Wide Doors & Seats) Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #28
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Black Haggis Tubesteak House" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #27
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Shoney's Big Boners" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #26
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Bentagains" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
You Just Never Know!
Cameron up all night in 36-hour push for all out majority as ten in 10 voters say they could STILL change their minds.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
"Idol" Challenge #3
Milli Vanilli tunes to be a challenge for 'Idol' contestants.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
"Idol Challenge #2
Leon Redbone tunes to be a challenge for 'Idol' contestants.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
"Idol" Challenge
Tiny Tim tunes will be a challenge for 'Idol' contestants!
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Lohan The Porn Star
Producer: Lohan to star in movie about porn star. "She's a natural", states the director.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Vendor Defenders!
NYC vendors are eyes and ears, sometimes all hands, on the street.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Times Square Bomber Unraveled
Times Square bombing suspect's life had unraveled, bombed!
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Just A Breather
Retail data: Consumers 'took a breather' in April as sales dropped 95%.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Nashville #6
Nashville's famed music quieted by flooding. Old Muddy Water's song "Hoochi Coochi Man" Goes To #6.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Nashville #5
Nashville's famed music quieted by flooding. "Cool Water" by Sons of the Pioneers reaches #5.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Nashville #4
Nashville's famed music quieted by flooding. "Old Black Water keep On Flowing" by Doobie Brothers reaches #4.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Nashville #3
Nashville's famed music quieted by flooding. Simon & Garfunkle's "Bridge Over Troubled Water" with banjo, goes to #3.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Nashville Comebacks
Nashville's famed music quieted by flooding. Johnny Horton's version of "Waterloo" climbs to #2.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Greeks Protest, Bring Gift
Police use tear gas against Greek protesters, but allow tall wooden horse to be placed near station.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Az. City Council Members Plan To Sue
2 Arizona city councils vote to sue over new law. 10 plan to sue if law changes. 5 to sue either way it goes.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Wrong Name?
Bear Stearns execs say firm's collapse unavoidable. "Should have named ourselves, "Bull Stearns" says executive.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
"Four Foot High & Rising"
Nashville's famed music quieted by flooding. Johnny Cash recording "How High Is The Water, Mama?" goes to #1!
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Just Like Katrina
SuperDome to contain Gulf oil, the next best solution!
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Live & Let Live!
Wisconsin legalization of raw wino piss seen as benchmark.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Pig Sticker Arrested
Southern Minn. man accused of stabbing 29 pigs in jealous rage after being turned down for a date by Kirstie Alley.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Many Smell A Rat
$266 million Mega Millions ticket sold in California apparently won by state budget.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Not The Best Idea CIA Ever Had
NY car bomb suspect cooperates, but motive mystery as he blows himself up during reenactment.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
See Your Doctor, Win A Suit!
Aspirin May Increase Risk of Crohn's Disease. Doctors: It's your choice, heart attack or Crohns Disease? Names yo choice, takes yo chances!
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Picasso Sold To Highest Bidder
Picasso sells at NYC auction for record $106.5M. Noted artist to be dug back up next week.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Left The Kids Here & Ran Away!
US low score on world motherhood rankings but much higher in grandmotherhood rankings.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Security: We Missed Him
Security slip let suspect on plane, near takeoff loaded down with bombs, nails.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Financial Regulations Stall
Financial regulations still face delays, disputes, democracy, individual freedom.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Burning Gulf No Solution
Dome to contain Gulf oil the next best solution. Hummers lined up on shore to absorb oil, final defense.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Bomb Suspect Not Helping
NY car bomb suspect cooperates, but motive mystery as he tells police that neighbor's dog told him to do it. Dog water boarded, likes it.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Tiger Unfazed
Tiger Woods unfazed by Mickelson threat to number one ranking, Wilt Chamberlain's sex records.
written by Bureau, 05 May 2010
Lady GaGa Marries Lord GooGoo
Say it with me--She becomes Lady GaGa-GooGoo
written by Charpa93, 05 May 2010
