Remember The Swine Flu?
Swine Flu nostalgia comforts those on the Gulf facing the incoming oil slick. "What's a few coughs & grunts?", asks businessman.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Woke Her Up!
Tokyo, Japan in one huge panic as highly-pissed Godzilla comes ashore wearing an oil slick!
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #25
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Bubba Gump's, Oil Slick Shrimp" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #24
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Pooters" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #23
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Mob Evans" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #22
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Boston Markup" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #21
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Buffalo Wild Things" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Warning Brings Response
College Freshmen told that smoking, drinking, watching football & drinking, poor eating habits, too much sex can lead to an early grave. After class many go to make wills.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Winnebago Motor Homes Recall
Winnebago motor homes recalls 100,000 models that haven't prevented visitors knocking while the motor home was rocking.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Hawking Reinterates Warning
Stephen Hawking says that aliens probably do exist, but that we should not interact with them. "T h a t' s w h y y o u s h o u l d o n l y w a v e f o r a c a b. H a! Ha!"
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
What's Happening Out There?
Giant oil leak should have reached our shores by now say nation's pessimists.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Washington Approval Low
Brand new poll reveals that 10 out of 10 have no faith in Washington. That's their lowest figure yet.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
You Guys Know Oil Better Than Me
President Obama appoints former President George W. Bush, Dick Cheney to head up clean-up crew for Gulf.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Where Was FEMA?
BP America blame FEMA for being too slow to react to a disaster they were bound to make sooner or later. "We're New Orleans, all over again", states CEO.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Another Spill
Compost truck spill near windmill farm quickly spreads as over 2,000 people now have freckles.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
The Way Many Would Want To Go
Teams battle for 35 hours to break record for longest ever football match... and the final score was 333-293. Three fans found dead in their seats.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
No Problem!
Thoroughly soaked Times Square bomb suspect 'admits to all charges' after he's arrested at JFK airport.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
10,000 Applications!
Specialist sex crime police officers 'to be replaced by civilians to save money' Several agree to work vice squad for free.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #20
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Snake & Shake" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #19
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Chili Willies" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #18
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Pony Romas" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #17
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Hard Cock Cafe" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #16
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Windys" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #15
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Starpucks" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #14
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Tonics Drive Inn" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #13
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Shakey's P-P-p-Pizza" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #12
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Booger King" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #11
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "One Eye's Chicken" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Virginia Attorney General Tries Covering Breast of Virtus on State Seal
Now it's become the most oogled state seal on google.
written by Charpa93, 04 May 2010
Local Mobster Sleeps with the Fishes
"It was a delightful experience", said Joey the Lips, after a visit to the local aquarium where he had 'fun' with a trout.
written by unknown
Local Farmer Fails to Fool Animals
"He won't pull the wool over my eyes", said Mr. Sheep.
written by unknown
Vegetarian Zombies Make Complaint
The local association of vegetarian zombies have complained about the lack of brain-free meals at the local mall.
written by unknown
Asian Killer Abroad
Killer Asian bug threatens to wipe out Britain's blooming wisteria, bloody red ginger!
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Michael Jackson's Father Claims Michael Wasn't Gay
"He was bi-sexual, not gay," claims Joe Jackson. "If you're going to print stupid stories about my dead son, then at least get your facts straight."
written by Charpa93, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #10
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Dead Lobster" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #9
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Pan It Hollywood" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #8
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Papa's John" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #7
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Outhouse Steakback" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #6
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Live Garden" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #5
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Mac's Monos" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #4
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Little Seizures" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #3
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Kentucky Fried Chiggers" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes #2
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Cock In The Box" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Restaurant Closes
Another victim of the bad economy, the last "Me Hardees" Restaurant Closes.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Still Spewing Ash!
Schoolboy, then nine, held up so long by volcano cloud he's grown a full beard in Australia.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Obese To Be Banned?
Pensioner dragged 90ft trapped in doors of bendy bus after 'driver didn't see her' because of 400-pound lady sitting between them. Thought noise was fat lady causing wheels to run against bus frame.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Kebab Wars
Judge attacks 24-hour licensing laws as he skewers thug for 'appalling' fight over kebab.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Judge Shows Ass!
Yob wins right to wear trousers that show his underpants after judge Asshole said Asbo ruling would 'breach human rights'
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Mayor "Oil Slick" Harry
Florida, Alabama, Mississippi Gulf Coast watches, waits to see if they have managed to redirect the path of oil spill towards New Orleans. "What's one more disaster to them?", argues one Mayor.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Mass. Lifts Boil Water Warning
Massachusetts boil water order ends; investigation plan to look into "witch trial" and her curse of turd left in the water. Since she drowned, she wasn't really a witch therefore canceling the curse.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
New Arkansas Deportation Scheme
Arkansas admits it likes new Arizona deportation law, will try to force local families to marry people from other states.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
New NATO Idea!
New NATO idea to avoid killing innocent Afghans. "Why can't we all just get along? SIT DOWN POLAND!"
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Ashes To Ashes, Redgrave To Grave
'Hey There, Georgy Girl' Lynn Redgrave Dies at 67. "It's time for jumping down from the shelf"
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Out With The Oldest, In With The Second Oldest
World's oldest person, 114, dies in Japan! Long live the world's oldest person!
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Hey! Look Over Here!
Off-duty prostitute distracts knife attacker at California Target.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
More Thai Protests
Thai protesters welcome PM's compromise. Protests immediately begin against compromise welcomers.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
A Definite Possibility
Off-duty deputy stops knife attack at Calif Target as CEO states that he believes that Target could be a major Target of terrorists.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
See Marie's Training Bra!
Osmond matriarch's home dedicated as museum after she's forced out and sent to nursing home.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Teacher Loses Bowel Control
Elementary student's electrical experiment project at "Show & Tell" in Ohio Elementary School shocks his classmates, teacher.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Feds Offer Enhanced Retirement
Feds offer $5billion to shore up early retiree coverage, retire.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Target A Target!
Off-duty deputy stops knife attack at Calif Target. "Good thing that I had bought those grenades at the gun show this morning"
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
One Limerick Has 120 Words
Whole stack of limericks by the late beat poet, Alan Ginsberg discovered in back storage room at City Lights Publishing.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Too Much TV?
Watching TV at Age 2 Linked to a Host of Problems at 10, according to News At 6 on Channel 5.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
"World's Oldest Person" Dies, Still Alive
World's oldest person, 114, dies in Japan. Doctors say there's a pattern here.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
NYC Bomber In Court
Man held in NYC car bomb attack to appear in court, explode!
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Now THERE'S A Politician!
Harry Reid on oil spill: US should have waited and allowed Cuba to dig for oil in the gulf. Their advanced technology would have avoided this mess.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
BP Hires Out-Of-Work Fishermen
Gulf Oil Spill: BP Enlists Hard-Hit Fishermen in Cleanup! You mean that there is someone who made a right decision? Amazing!
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Burn The Oil Spill?
President Obama decides not to burn off oil. Advisers say that turtles aflame photos might prove costly in an election year.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Not The Only One!
More victims feared as Nancy Pelosi's mouth continues to yap.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
Cheech and Chong Think New Arizona Law is Crazy
Said Chong, "Yeah, man, like WTF? You know? What's gonna happen when you legalize marijuana and there are no Mexicans left in the state to harvest it, man?
written by Charpa93, 04 May 2010
Washington: See, Told You He Was Dead!
Taliban leader that drone killed shows up on internet, bares fangs.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
"Day One!"
Campaigning Barack Obama who stated that during Katrina he would have been there from day one, goes to Gulf oil spill on day seven as President.
written by Bureau, 04 May 2010
