"Get Me To The Horsepital, Sally Lou"
Study finds that obesity in the south not from overeating but corncob accidents.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agatha Christie Update #11
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "Shithead's Folly"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agath Christie Update #10
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "Marybeth Comes As The End"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agatha Christie Update #9
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "Death On The Reptile"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agatha Christie Update #8
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "Partners In Prime Shit"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Movie Producers Help Teens
Less kids going to camp these days due to economy. Producers may provide free camps in California so they can make horror movies.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Solar Storms Threaten
This year's increased solar storms may threaten electrical grids, GPS, cell phones, my shock treatments.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
San Fran To Help
San Francisco to build rehab center, halfway house for terrorists at Gitmo.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Al Qaeda Accuses Pakistan Taliban of Shoddy Terrorist Attempts
Said Al Qaeda leader, "when they pull bone-headed stunts like the one in downtown New York, it makes all terrorists look inept and lessens our ability to strike fear into the hearts of infidels."
written by Charpa93, 10 May 2010
What you will see in tomorrow's headlines 2
Nick Robinson says unelected PM fifteen times in ten minutes. His BBC political buddy, Laura Kalishnikov tries to trump him but only gets twelve "unelecteds" in twenty minutes.
written by Nae mair crap, 10 May 2010
What you will see in tomorrow's headlines 1
Tories apoplectic with undisguised anger.
written by Nae mair crap, 10 May 2010
What you won't see in tomorrow's headlines 3
Adam Boulton trashed by Alistair Campbell. Sky News runs out of man sized hankies to cry into.
written by Nae mair crap, 10 May 2010
Don't Worry, Be Stupid
Experts at Pentagon say that Pakistan could break out in civil war at any time sending nuclear missiles all over the area. Other than that, it's been pretty calm of late.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
What you won't see in tomorrow's headlines 2
Fraser Nelson, Spectator chief spectates as his eyes pop out of his head. Brown resigns and Labour talks to Lib Dems - I wasn't expecting that says Fraser, I hope the Cameroons are not as sick as me.
written by Nae mair crap, 10 May 2010
Newspaper Supporters
Newspapers must be saved no matter if most reading online say parakeet owners, hillbillies.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
What you won't see in tomorrow s headlines 1
Cameron shits himself as Brown resigns and Labour talk to Lib Dems
written by Nae mair crap, 10 May 2010
Another Bomb Scare At NYC
Another bomb scare on Broadway as critics cut up new musical.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
War Between Cats and Dogs May End
A local cow has acted as mediator in their round table discussions.
He stepped in after the mediator mouse was eaten by the cats.
written by unknown
The Sun Shines out of Local Man's Backside
Local Man Billy Turnip has been charging curious visitors 50p to read The Sun newspaper that he mysteriously beams out from his arse.
"To display page 3 I just give it my cheeks a bit of a wiggle", he said.
written by unknown
Local Cop To Retire Tomorrow
"I have just one more day on the job. I don't expect anything unusual to happen", said Sgt. Robert Murtaugh as he was introduced to his new partner Martin Riggs.
written by unknown
What Goes Up Must Come Down
The Local Mayor has decreed that everything that goes up must come down immediately.
Children's balloons have are exempt from the ruling.
written by unknown
Local Man Dozes Off while Writing Spoof Snippet
Local man Danny Sausage felt a little sleepy and then......
written by unknown
Greece Our Palms
Leaders in Greece decide to "spend their way out of a depression". Thank EU, US for bailout monies.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Gordon Brown is quitting and Labour celebrate!
Gordon Brown is quitting and the Labour Party have requested that this memorable day become an official Bank Holiday. The Queen has given her approval and celebrates too with a KNEES UP MOTHER BROWN!
written by unknown
Wikipedia is replaced by WANKAPAEDO-IA!
Wikipedia after being accused of being a cess-pit for kiddies porno and Paedo's has decided to "come out" relaunch itself under the the new name of "WANKAPAEDO-IA (IA = IN AUSTRIA, get it!)
written by unknown
Waste Of Funding
Ambulance service bosses spend £10,000 on staff project which asks 'How cool was Hitler?' Another £10,000 on "How's it hanging?"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
No Birthday Sweets #3
Nurseries ban pupils from eating cake or sweets on their birthdays. "OK, everybody fill their pants!" states 4-year-old. "Ready? Set? Goooooooooo!!"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
No Birthday Sweets #2
Nurseries ban pupils from eating cake or sweets on their birthdays. "Meanwhile, check out old fat ass over there. She get that way from eating carrots?", asks 4-year-old.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
No Birthday Sweets
Nurseries ban pupils from eating cake or sweets on their birthdays. "First they take our fags and now this", laments 4-year-old.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Virgin Price-Fixing Settled
Trial collapses of four senior British Airways executives accused of price-fixing with Virgin. Family of Virgin settles out of court.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
You Big Ash!
Greenpeace spokesman demands that Iceland Volcano shut it's yap as air becomes more & more polluted.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Summer Of Misery
Summer of misery on the way for passengers as volcano ash cloud halts yet more flights. "What ever happened to the Summer of Love?", asks one old timer.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
KFC Sued
KFC fined £11,000 after cockroach eating a chip, mouse, Jimmy Hoffa and dried blood are found in busy branch.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
2,600 Jobs Broad Axed
Royal Bank of Scotland set to broad axe 2,600 jobs. Women claim that is a code for them.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Brown Asked To Quilt?
Brown given Lib Dem lifeline as MPs and ex-ministers tell PM to quilt. I'm sorry, that should have been "quit".
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agatha Christie Update #7
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "A Nutter Is Announced"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agathie Christie Update #6
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "Murder In The Coups"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agatha Christie Update #5
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "Ten Little Rednecks". Several believe that is a Jeff Foxworthy Knockoff.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agatha Christie Update #4
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "Cremations Are Fatal"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
New Watchdog Needed?
Minister calls for break up of election "Watchdog McDork" after polling day shambles.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Cameron New PM?
Cameron just hours from #10? Tories to strike historic deal with Lib Dems "as soon as we get our kicks from dragging out Brown"s fate."
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agathie Christie Update #3
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "Murder In Peso Motamia"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agatha Christie Updat #2
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "The Adventure Of The Christmas Pooting"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Agatha Christie Update
Experts now claim that mystery writer, Dame Agatha Christie did not write "The NBC Murders"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
How High Is The Water Mama?
Grand Ole Opry stage was under "Two feet of water and rising!"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
New Robing Hood
Crowe brings scruffy new look to 'Robin Hood', 'Little' John involved in controversial scenes.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Especiall Male Dentists
America's favorite birth control method doesn't cause tooth decay say dentists.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Hunters Begin Wolf Seaon
Montana, Idaho consider increased wolf hunt quotas. Warn Taylor Lautner and friends.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Good Morning Neander Boy!
You're a Neanderthal, Wives, Girlfriends, Genes say yes!
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Stock Futures Rally
Stock futures, Company's CEO's pockets surge, on central bank actions.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Karzai In DC
White House blood red carpet's out for Karzai visit to Washington.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
From Athletics To Politics
Athletes turn to politics for second career. Point to "running" success.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Friends In High Places
Will BP's Washington connections help it now? Is the Pope Catholic?
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Murder Victim Alive
Man imprisoned nearly 10 years for murder may be freed after victim turned up alive, raising concerns about police using torture for confessions. "If I get out, I'm going to kill him", states inmate.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
No New Labour?
Many Brits say they no longer trust Labour Government. "Once bitten, Coconut Shy", says one.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Pressure In Britain.
Pressure mounts in Britain to form new government although many say they are better off without one.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Stocks Advance On News
EU creates $1 trillion package to save euro as US, China agree to throw in a few million worthless dollars.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
It's Almost Here!
Gulf residents trying everything to stop The Blob approaching shorelines.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
One Crazy Week
Stressful week for displaced residents as they have to leave flooded home for temporary stay at mental institute.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Tiger Gone
New Paper Tiger looks nothing like the old as Woods drops out of tournament.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Filipinos Voting
Filipinos vote amid violence, computer glitches, shredders under ballot boxes.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Wetlands Animals Threatened
Oil spill threatens already weakened wetlands on gulf. Oily birds first to succumb.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Ash Changes Direction
Spike in disability claims clogs overloaded system. Many say they can't tell the difference.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Spike In Disability #2
Spike in disability claims clogs overloaded system as many claim they have a bone in their leg, everything they eat turns to shit.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Spike In Disability
Spike in disability claims, clogs overloaded system. "That Spike is as healthy, more healthy than I am", says neighbor.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Singer Lena Horne Dies
Legendary singer Lena Horne hears the trumpet call at 92.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
New Volleyball League
Professional Women Volleyball League to form. Believed it will draw big crowds as players go to thongs.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Male Birth Control
A male birth control pill has been developed. You take the one inch pill, open it up and there's a coiled rubber.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Into Recycling
Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Adam Lambert go Green. All three agree to share cabs, clothes and boyfriends.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Polish Demands
Polish leaders demand the end of the use of the "P" word!
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Special Playboy Issue
Playboy to feature entire October issue this year to "Best Airport Full Booty Security Photos"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Stephen King Earlier Failure #33
Stephen King admits that he had a few failures before his first big seller, "Carrie", including "From A Cleric 8"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Stephen King Earlier Failure #32
Stephen King admits that he had a few failures before his first big seller, "Carrie", including "Crapshow"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Stephen King Earlier Failure #31
Stephen King admits that he had a few failures before his first big seller, "Carrie", including Bag Of Scones"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Stephen King's Earlier Failures #30
Stephen King admits that he had a few failures before his first big seller, "Carrie", including "Farts In Alantis"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Who Do I See Around Here About
raising the credit limit on my debt to society?
written by Charpa93, 10 May 2010
Stephen King Earlier Failures #29
Stephen King admits that he had a few failures before his first big seller, "Carrie", including "Perspiration"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
Stephen King Earlier Failures #28
Stephen King admits that he had a few failures before his first big seller, "Carrie", including "Cack House"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2010
