No Asteroid Trouble Ever!
A new poll just out about the chances of the earth ever getting hit by an asteroid id zero. (Actually, it could, but another poll showed that most prefer being lied to).
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Border Crowded
Gov. officials are warning spring breakers about violence from Mexican drug gangs across the border. Also, beware the canes and hiking sticks of old people crossing for Mexican drugs from this side.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Runaway Prius #2
Toyota says it still hasn't found any inconsistencies in the ABC story of the runaway Prius. Driver finally admits that he is Balloon Boy's uncle.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Driver Lied?
Toyota says it still hasn't found any inconsistencies in the ABC story of the runaway Prius. After all these years of lying advertising they have some nerve to accuse owner of lying.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Amercan Kids Not Getting Enough Exercise
Another report shows that American kids are not getting enough exercise. Husbands told to have kid, not wife, to go fetch a beer for him.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Obama Gets Beer Award
After latest beer conference, Pabst makes President Obama honorary member of their Blue Ribbon panel.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
First Time In Three Years
Larry King to be off TV for a couple of weeks after overdoing celebration after bowel movement .
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Breakthrough Up East
Massachusetts votes to allow all it's citizens the same rights as the Kennedys.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Puff The Magic Dragon
Study shows that husbands who get wives to give up sucking on cigarettes receive a double blessing.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Nader Announces New Goal
Ralph Nader lowers sights. Says he will run for Vice President in 2012.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
New Doctors Study Released
Doctor's study reports that those who aren't going to take it anymore are all "mad as hell".
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Earth Would Quiet Down
Just released information show that Kim Jung Il of North Korea finished third to Obama for Nobel Peace Prize. Reason given: World War III would bring complete peace to the planet.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Turn About Is Fair Play
Reprogrammed Mars Rover spotted taking earth samples.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Brings Back The Nipple Ripple!
Janet Jackson's nipple shield, outfit sent to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #27
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Chewbacca Of Sunnybrook Farm"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #26
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Rear Window Mooning"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #25
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Raging Tool!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #24
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Midnight Brokeback Cowboy"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3d Movie Remake #23
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Beat Me In St Louis!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Fleetwood Mac Star Gears Up For Courtroom Minge Battle
Fleetwood Mac star Stevie Nicks is to trademark her vagina after she claims Gordon Brown's plastic surgeon used it as the model for his face.
written by parveen liddy, 28 March 2010
Kim Passes Along Tip
Kim of North Korea says he had a tip that Scrooge McDuck may try to corner the gold market beginning in July.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
2009 Crime Only Slightly Higher
Although 2009 was a bad year economically, most crime stats were up only slightly according to figures just in. "We hopes to have a better one in 2010", says anonymous burglar.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Medical Researchers Discover Amazing Fact:
Most Americans for Prosperity (AFP) members' hearts are in the wrong place, but say surgery won't correct the problem.
written by Charpa93, 28 March 2010
"I'm Going To Scream Any Minute Now!"
New study shows that children programs do not cause violence. However, some adults crack up completely after hearing the same kid's songs everyday.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
New Sign in Fort Worth
A new sign on the freeway at Fort Worth, Texas, is to show visitors the way to Amarillo.
written by parveen liddy, 28 March 2010
#1 Hit Spawned at Tea Party Rally in Nevada
J.T. Pickett's hit song, "My Neck is Red, My Skin is White, and my Huntin' Dog's Named Blue" is quickly becoming the national anthem of the Tea Party Movement.
written by Charpa93, 28 March 2010
New Bin Laden Video
Osama Bin Laden in his latest video says that he has taken up golf. Reports that there are "The mother of all sand traps" out here.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Inventor _________ Dies Of ____________
_________ __________, inventor of Mad Libs _________ Sunday morning at his _________. The ________ will be held at the _______ Funeral __________, Tuesday.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Same Old Names Becoming Blase'
Representatives of Iran, Israel agree to come up with more original names to call each other.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Excuse #15 Coming Up!
Ben Bernanke spotted talking to himself, wringing his hands once again.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Newly-single Jennifer Love Spewitt dishes out dating advice
Says Spewitt: "Women get treated better if they stay dating". Actually a very Good point.
written by Tcoah, 28 March 2010
Barbara Bush At Hospital
Barbara Bush admitted to hospital for tests. Blames Bill Clinton influence on Bush Senior for pregnancy.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Go About Our Business
Despite row, U.S. and Israel sign massive arms deal. "Money is money, they both agree."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Brits At Odds With The US
End Nears for 'Special Relationship' of UK and US. "Hard for us to deal with Muslim president."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Thought They Were Stars
World suddenly going dark to shed light on Earth Hour catches UFO's completely off guard as ten thousand spotted!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Talk But Don't Walk
Activists jet 12,000 miles - to climate change meeting, to inform all of us that we are wasteful.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Bangkok Seedy?
BA union boss and a Bangkok go-go bar: Two-day stopover paid for by Unite included visit to seedy sperm bank.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Big Bunny Collection
Museum is home to world's largest bunny collection and doubling in size every two weeks!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Big Old Bugger!
First tyrannosaur fossil from the Southern Hemisphere in Australia, "Tyrannosaurus Jack", unearthed!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Played Havoc With Sporting Events!
Landmarks, cities worldwide unplug for Earth Hour, having some problems getting them back on.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Time To Fight?
Palin to tea party rally: Don't sit down, shut up! Go home and get your automatic weapons!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Lots Of Laughter Behind Doors
Phony products impress federal energy program. "Shows that there's a lot of crazy people out there", says spokesperson.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Mount Kilimanjaro Climbers
Local couple climb Mount Kilimanjaro while out looking for their lost dog.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Live On TV!
Live on TV: Thai PM vs. anti-government protesters as protesters hope to make it to the Final Four.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Wine Country Secrets
Moth forces wine country's secret into the open. Two-Buck Chuck the only one moth free.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
A Bird For Obama
Obama announces 15 recess appointments, scolds GOP for finger gestures!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
US/ Israeli Tensions
Netanyahu tries to play down tensions with US! "Probably the nicest Muslim leader I've ever met."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Israel/US Tensions
Netanyahu tries to play down tensions with US. "Best beer conference I've ever been to."
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Remember The Kids While You're At It!
Pope opens solemn Holy Week amid sex abuse crisis, although it has only been going on for the last 1900 years.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #22
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "An American In Paris Hilton"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie remake #21
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "ET, The Extra Testicle!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #20
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Balls!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #19
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "His Girl, Fruity"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie remake #18
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "The Cocktease Talcum"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie remake #17
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Doctor Strangelove Or How I Stopped Worrying And Love The Tomb!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #16
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as 'Boner & Clyde'
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
New Orleans Decides Decides To Advertise #14
New Orleans new Fat City ads include: "All our restaurants have double-doors, re-enforced floors!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
New Orleans Decides To Advertise #13
New Orleans new Fat City ads include: "Join our six-plate, Overweight Clubs like The Street Wobblers!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
New Orleans Decides To Advertise #12
New Orleans new Fat City ads include: "You'll have new friends by the gross!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
New Orleans Decides To Advertise #11
New Orleans new Fat City ads include: "Even if you get aids and begin losing weight, you'll live another 20 years on stored fat here!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
New Orleans Decides To Advertise #10
New Orleans new Fat City ads include: "Still only tubby? Well, we can fix that!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Huge Black Historical sex-toys sold for record price!
2 huge black historical 1700 black phallus (dildo's) were sold for a record price to a horny, Essex, footballers wife preparing for the World Cup, 4 weeks without "IT" never!
written by unknown
Pentagon Discovers Tha......
Pentagon recalls 50,000 nuclear warheads after discovering they are leaking and...well, kiss your ass goodbye, this looks like it!
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Might As Well Turn Him Over
A new study released yesterday finds that 1 n 20 people who eat in bed at night will eventually find a fork stuck in their ass by morning. If this happens to you, don't turn over or you're done.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Some Lucky Bum Is Rich
Suspicious delivered to New York City Museum and blown up by a bomb squad apparently held the Hope Diamond.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
Sleep Study
Sleep study: If you only get three & a half hours of sleep the night before, it's important that you tell everyone that the next day all day long.
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #15
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Laden Of Arabia"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #14
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "It's A Wonder Bra Life"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #13
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "The Marx Brothers In Dropped Soap!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #12
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "John With The Wand"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #11
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "All Queer On The Western Front"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #10
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Titty Lights"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #9
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Bringing Up Boobie"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #8
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "The Pride Of Frankenstein"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #7
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "The Dearth Of A Lotion"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #6
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Puckered lips Now!"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remakes #5
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Annie Haulin' Ass"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remakes #4
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "George Jefferson, Weezy Rider"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3d Movie Remakes #3
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "Hubble Identity"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remake #2
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "The Gold Tush"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
3D Movie Remakes
With the coming of 3D television some of the old movies may be re-released with a more adult look, such as "The Real African Queen"
written by Bureau, 28 March 2010
