Man Arrested for Biting Satire
Joe Satire had bites about his head and neck but could not identify his attacker.
written by Charpa93, 26 March 2010
Exuberant Lewis Hamilton does a wheel-spin
Well, he's on the other side of the world far away from Llanishen Madness (as in "March Madness").
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
WAG ...
Shares Al-Qaeda's view on storing 1.5 million tons of water above two schools, numerous businesses and a hundred Welsh homes.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
Al-Qaeda files second amicus brief in support
of the jerks who want to keep 1.5 million tons of water at 49 yards elevation above two schools and a hundred or more homes.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
UFOs sighted
around Llanishen Reservoir - aliens marvel at the sheer stupidity of keeping 1.5 million tons of water above two schools and hundreds of homes.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
"Babe"
Writer for the group Styx finally admits that his song, "Babe" was about the pig in the movie.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Stevie Gerrard asks Super Rooney for some sound "Scouse" advice!
Stevie Gerrard has admitted to being a FLOP and has asked fellow Scouser, Wayne Rooney for some sound advice, here it is: "Fuck Liverpool and leave!" Thanks Wayne, at last the TRUTH!
written by unknown
NK threatens nuke war on SK and the USA
Nothing to report other than a sinking of a 1,300 ton South Korean navy corvette, the Cheonan on March 27, 2010 with about 40 SK sailors feared lost.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
Sorry about that....
A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'
written by Spicewood, 26 March 2010
Before cable
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
written by Spicewood, 26 March 2010
Clowning around
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
written by Spicewood, 26 March 2010
Cameos
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I didn't see any.
written by Spicewood, 26 March 2010
The Eskimos
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank , proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
written by Spicewood, 26 March 2010
Getting So We Dread The Next One!
Vice President Biden says that President Obama was able to do in one year what it took eight years for President Bush to do, in continually destroying America!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Obama Reminds Americans
President Obama reminds American taxpayers, "Remember it'll get a whole lot worse before it gets even more worse still."
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize #10
A book charting the frontier between the human brain and Lisa Marie Presley on Friday won Britain's quirkiest literary award, the Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Comes Monday
Spam business celebrates fifteenth year of sending out Bigger Penis ads.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Extended Until Next Presidential Election
President Obama is trying to extend jobless benefits for another three years. Tells unemployed to "look busy".
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Insider News
Insider at White House claims that Obama's youngest daughter interupted Barack & Michelle in oval office, playing Bill & Monica.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
US paranoid "Preppers" know Armageddon is coming, so they've decided to make a buck or 2 before it hits!
US "Preppers" have opened up a new Supermarket chain called "Basementmart" they know Armaggedon is coming so why not make a buck or 2 while we're waiting!
written by unknown
New Obama Speech
President Obama states that all those to be hit with higher taxes will be in his speech Monday night, on Pay For View!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
#1 Target
WallyMart: If there's a nuclear attack, the Target stores will be hit first, stands to reason.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Get 'Em While They're Hot
American Mathematics Magazine releases its annual list of top ten prime numbers! Only a few copies left.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #27
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Prince Charles earlobes now eight inches long.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #26
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Robins pulling worms out of the ground scorching their peckers.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #25
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Taxi drivers in New York City hidding blocks of ice under turbans.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Asteroid Hits Earth
Earth caught completely off guard as huge asteroid hits during the night.....is there anybody else out there?
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Man Bricked To Death
London teen explains to police officers that his stepfather had been teasing him mercilessly & that finding the brick in his Holiday Stocking last December had pushed him over the edge!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #27
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Everybody at the Betty Ford Clinic high as a kite on frozen Margaritas.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #26
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Ronald McDonald shows kids how to fry an egg on top of his head.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #25
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton switching from pantsuits to hot pants.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Jung Is Upset
North Korea threatens 'nuclear strikes' on South Korea, the United States and Wiley Coyote.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize #9
A book charting the frontier between Mother Teresa and a turd-eating dog in Pubescratch, Arkansas on Friday won Britain's quirkiest literary award, the Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize #8
A book charting the frontier between the Prime Minister elbow and his asshole on Friday won Britain's quirkiest literary award, the Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize #7
A book charting the frontier between cucumber sandwiches and Adolf Hitler on Friday won Britain's quirkiest literary award, the Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
No one knows y
anyone would want to live directly below 1.5 million tons of water held back by a vulnerable earth dam. Heavy rain and an earth movement and "Bob's your Uncle": À la carte Aberfan.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
World Traveler
Widow travels 60,000 miles to scatter ashes of husband and 'show him the world', her next husband.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
It All Balances Out!
Quarter of boys aged five cannot write their name! On the other hand, 100% can piss "X" in the snow!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Considering That Many Have Nearly Nothing After Taxes.
The fleecing of the middle class: How Labour's punished any family earning over £10,000, now considered middle-class.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Man Battles Croc!
My battle with killer crocodile: Briton dragged underwater in jaws of 11ft beast, survives by poking it in the eye, throwing mud pie in it's face. "Good thing I've watched the stooges", he claims.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
'Sexy goings on' not responsible
Llanishen campaigners for draining over one million tons of water above their homes claims leak at co-joined Lisvane reservoir is behind recent earth disturbances.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
Blackmailing Crime Increase
As many as 140,000 non-medical staff, including porters and housekeepers, have access to sensitive NHS patient files, it emerged last night. Police report blackmailing crime up 500%.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Sushi restaurant owner fights to save Llanishen reservoir
"The fish from that reservoir is the best we have had - our customers love it."
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
Teen Gets Detention
Teenage truant saves suicidal woman from bridge plunge... then gets detention for missing school, first aid training.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Taxis Next?
Back to the bad old days: After the BA militants bring chaos, rail unions wreck Easter holidays, bus driver strike finishes everyone off.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Breaking New Ground
Film breaks new ground on sex in India as protesters plan to bury filmmakers.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Welsh Assembly Government proposals for safe disposal of Llanishen reservoir
Hand bottle Llanishen reservoir water. Said WAG spokesperson: "With over one million tons of reservoir water we will have enough money to fix the all those pot-holes left over from winter."
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
Largest Buns?
Museum is home to world's largest buns collection. I'm sorry, that should be "largest bunny collection".
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Lots Of Variety
Breast-feeding varies by race, place, size, age and sex.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
McCain, Palin Campaigning
McCain, Palin to campaign together in Arizona. Palin practicing for 2012. McCain apparently has Alzheimer's Disease.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Bin Laden threatens Americans with Health Care Reform
Osama bin Laden threatened al Qaeda would impose health care reform on any Americans it takes prisoner if Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is put to death. The threat was met with skepticism by US officials.
written by Adam Click, 26 March 2010
If It Passes, 30% of US Will Say They Are Gay!
Would partners of gay troops get benefits, too? If so, over 500,000 ready to say they are gay!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
College Students Get Boost
Congress gives college aid a boost. Promise to allow marijuana on campus for right after major exams, in order to relax.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
New Threats
Threats against lawmakers spread after health vote as Nancy Pelosi threatens to strip in front of those already stricken with stomach disorders.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
New FAA Rules
FAA issues safety warning for homemade planes, aircraft carriers!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Not In Our Lifetime!
Could Hong Kong teach China to quit smoking? Could the United States teach England to quit eating blood pudding? Could England teach the Scottish to leave off haggis?
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Police Dog Sentenced
Dog that attacked police cars must attend classes, do three months of public service.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
North Threatens Nuclear War, New Art Exhibit!
North Korea threatens 'nuclear strikes' on South Korea, US, that one spot in the ocean where all their rockets keep landing.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Back Together For The First Time!
McCain, Palin to campaign together in Arizona. Promise to get it right this time!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Father Of Newgrass
Sam Bush is named father of newgrass. Everyone told to light up and celebrate!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize #6
A book charting the frontier between burnt toast and Einstein's E=MC2 Theory on Friday won Britain's quirkiest literary award, the Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize #5
A book charting the frontier between Biggles, The Big White Fokker and the 4 ft., 10inch Pygmies of the Congo on Friday won Britain's Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize #4
A book charting the frontier between the String Theory and a hedgehog in Blackpool on Friday won Britain's quirkiest literary award, the Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize #3
A book charting the frontier between prehistoric dinosaurs and Lady Camilla Parker Bowles on Friday won Britain's quirkiest literary award, the Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize Winner #2
A book charting the frontier between peaches and Winston Churchill's penis on Friday won Britain's quirkiest literary award, the Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Diagram Prize Winner
A book charting the frontier between handicrafts and geometry on Friday won Britain's quirkiest literary award, the Diagram Prize for year's oddest book title.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
"Double Dipping"?
UK press reports: "Prisoners paid £27m in benefits while behind bars".
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
They're At It Again
Beware online knights in shining armor, US Army warns as Nigerians posing as US servicemen offer marriage and the slaying of dragons to bilk thousands of women out of savings.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
The Fair Deal For all
Government to unveil plan to shrink some home loans, homes. "A small four room house with indoor plumbing should be all that's needed", say congressmen who live in 14-room mansions.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
13-Year-Old Claims Discrimination
Prodigy, 13, claims age discrimination by UConn. "They won't let me disprove professor's teachings in any way."
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Sex Abuse Taints Priests
Sex abuse scandal in US, Italy taints papacy. "Taint guilty of anything", says pope.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Democrats Scurry Home!
Democrats send Obama final health measure. Each issued bullet-proof vests as they head home to crowds of angry voters.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Make A Run For It!
Democrats send Obama final health measure. Hire body guards to protect them as they head home to face voters!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Taking No Prisoners?
Pakistani troops kill 34 militants after attack, even more during the attack.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
WAG - synonymous with animal cruelty?
Welsh Assembly Government sinks to new low with demands that over one million tons of water should be stored above a rabbit cage in kid's Llanishen back-garden.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
Jihad Jane had bomb on her wrist
Jihad Jane had a bomb on her wrist
she wanted to be a Terror Wrist.
written by SPECTRUM, 26 March 2010
Gordon Brown takes Viagra
Gordon Brown took to much Viagra
and called for a General Erection.
written by SPECTRUM, 26 March 2010
The Butler did it
March Madness ; NCAA Basketball
Butler the little known college advaNces to Elite 8
BY BeatING
The mighty Syracuse
written by C. Cranium, 26 March 2010
BELIEVE!
'Mother Load' of Welsh gold discovered under the Taff - Gordon Brown smells a killing.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
Welsh Lib-Dems believe
the Greek fiscal model should be copied by Wales - oh hang on, Greece originally copied Wales's spending plan.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
Gordon Brown's "treats"
Gordon Brown robs Peter (private pensions) to pay Paul
and the amazing thing is, he thinks no one will spot the 'smash and grab'.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
... 'and another thing'
Biden wants everyone to adopt the Biden System - a cross between the Dewey classification system and the metric decimal system. "Who Knew"
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
Joe Biden
has a plan to lull everyone (especially the President) into a false sense of security and then BAM! Biden takes up train spotting.
written by Tcoah, 26 March 2010
PETA Got Da Bomb!
PETA admitted today for the first time that they have nuclear weapons. "Plus, we're not afraid to use them to end animal suffering", says spokeswoman.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Obama's Newest Appointee
President Obama's newest judge appointee, Card Shark Claudio from Chicago's South side, to face a lot of questions.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Pelosi: Things Are Looking Up!
Mexico City raid leads to arrest of nearly 200 illegal American workers!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Obama In Iowa
Obama in Iowa yesterday: "We're getting ready to hire 2,000 new workers to put to work tearing down empty car lots!"
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Out Of Control?
Maria Shriver caught on phone camera driving backwards while talking on cellphone and redoing lipstick near construction blasting site.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #24
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: All Water Moccasin Snakes completely disappear.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #23
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Chickens are laying their eggs already poached!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #22
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Habanero peppers are exploding in the fields!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #21
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: 95% of all Eskimo families now own refrigerators.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #20
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Children at school allowed to go to the windows at school to actually see snow...IN DULUTH!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #19
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Windmills being constructed all along the Canadian border, all aimed South.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #18
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Beer conferences being held in giant walk-in coolers.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #17
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Lobsters found already cooked in lobster traps.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #16
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Kid's favorite new activity? Water boarding!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #15
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Someone left Senator Byrd in his wheelchair and he melted. "It's MacArthur Park all over again", state police.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #14
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: More and more men & women marrying cold-blooded killers!
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
Global Warming #13
Global Warming expert Al Gore point out new evidence of global warming: Alcoholic bums and bag ladies in New York City, wearing only thongs.
written by Bureau, 26 March 2010
