Obama - I'll Bleach My Eyeballs
Following claims of hypocrisy for whining about the BP oil spill, President Obama today took full responsibility for the Bhopal chemical disaster and pledged to inject his eyes with bleach to atone
written by Jeremy Paxman, 29 June 2010
Gore Wanting More
Slightly Tipsy (no pun intended), Al Gore accuses Frolicking Bill Clinton of costing him the 2000 Presidential race. "Him and that big haired woman...shay, I wonder where she is nowadays?"
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Al Gore On The Prowl
Al Gore, who is accused of attacking masseuse, now so horny that he keeps calling it 'Global Woman!'.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Alaska Once Like Florida
Science article says that Alaska was once like Florida. Sunny, humid and early bird (dodo) specials.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
US, Taliban Agree!
The United States and The Taliban have finally reached an agreement. No gay Marriages!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Models Pretty Deep
A group of super models have stated that they are becoming involved in certain causes, especially those who's people are on a hunger strike!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Always The Last Place You Look!
Newly discovered mummy in a back part of a pyramid in Egypt that when unwrapped, turned out to be body of Jimmy Hoffa.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Beautiful Garden State News: Woodbridge
Woodbridge suitcase killer Melanie McGuire seeks new trial saying juror Googled her name. Family and friends of the suitcase are appealing.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
Beautiful Garden State News: Edison
Monday's issue of Time Magazine reflects on changes in Edison in a piece called "My Own Private India." In protest, All 7-11s and most of Dell's technical support are boycotting.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
Beautiful Garden State News: Paterson
Paterson: In light of NY Governor Paterson's recent legal troubles, and to honor most of its residents, the Town has decided to change its name to "Little Nicaragua"
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
Beautiful Garden State News: Jersey City
Jersey City became the biggest city in New Jersey to cancel its 2010 display, announcing on June 2 that they expect enough gunfire from residents to make up for it.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
Garden State News: Maple Shade
Maple Shade: The body found in the town's Maplewood Apartments caused property owners to change the name of the complex. "Maplewood is for murderers, but Park Crossing is for Families," they said.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From The Beautiful Garden State: South River
South River: Officials announced that 94% of its annual operating costs are paid by tickets given by a--hole police hiding in the woods on Old Bridge Turnpike.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From The Beautiful Garden State: New Brunswick
New Brunswick: Township officials cite the 4,352 miles of ugly concrete sound barriers erected during the Route 18 reconstruction with a 75% rise in BASE jumping deaths.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
BP Celebrates
A group of BP executives had a party last night where they got well oiled.
written by Trollbuster General, 29 June 2010
Sex Op!
A man who asked the NHS to lengthen his penis has been sent to hospital for a long stretch.
written by Trollbuster General, 29 June 2010
Sex Scandal!
A stable lad in Cornwall has been put on the Sex Register for grooming a horse. The horse said he was just trying to get his oats.
written by Trollbuster General, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Cook Islands
Cook Islands: Acknowledging its small size (24 sq. miles), The Cook Islands voted to change its name to "Crack of a Fly's Ass Islands. The Republic Of Gary Coleman was also considered.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Costa Rica
Costa Rica again ranks 1st in peace & human rights, having abolished its army permanently in 1949. It ranks 3rd in "Wimpy Countries Germany Will Invade Before 2015", behind the England and The Hague.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Congo
Congo: Congo, or more properly the tumbadora, is a tall, narrow, single-headed Cuban drum with African antecedents. It is thought…what? Congo? WTF is Congo?
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Comoros
Police in Lamu are questioning two Comoros nationals who were arrested at the weekend over possible links with terrorism activities. Apparently the landmines in their pockets aroused suspicion
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
Y O U Did This!!
Another Atlanta Airport plane delay leaves passengers staring holes into every plane attendant walking by.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
NRA Gifts Arrive!
All nine members of the Supreme Court receive gift baskets from the NRA with their own hand gun. Justice Ginsburg blows away the other eight!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Mother Of All Potholes!
Las Angeles Department Of Transportation refuse to fill pothole in the shape of Mother Teresa Face.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
"I have No Idea"
Kagan asked if she thinks it is significant that the Supreme Court held off ruling on handguns until Gay Pride parades were over?
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Make Them Last All Day
Millions of Brits headed for Europe this summer for those free continental breakfasts!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
It Never Hurts
President to begin preparations for 2012, beginning with an apology to the Mayans.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
I'll Never Sit Again!
Near-sightede man in Brooklyn. NY rushed to hospital after accidentally rubbing penis-enlargement cream on his hemroids.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Big News In Honduras!
The pastor of a small church in Honduras announced this morning that he and his wife have discovered a totally new missionary position!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
New Movie Disclaimer
Movie Changes: Now it's "Only edible animals were harmed during this movie."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Killer Still At Large
Unknown killer still waiting patiently for the Evening News to name him.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
There's Always Hope
Registered Sex Offender in New Orleans tells police officers that hopeful old ladies lying around practically nude in his neighborhood.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Clipper Recalled
Ginzu Fungus Toenail Clippers are being recalled. Hobble on down to the Post Office and return for full refund plus postage costs.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Death of World's Fattest Man!
The world's fattest man died yesterday. He was swimming off the coat of Japan when he was harpooned by a whaling ship. His wife is still blubbering.
written by Trollbuster General, 29 June 2010
Medical Announcement!
After extensive research doctors have announced that death is the world's number one killer.
written by Trollbuster General, 29 June 2010
High Radiation Dose
Airport body scanners deliver radiation dose 20 times higher than first thought, warns expert. "And we thought it was pretty high even at the first."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Or Is It "Oilican"?
Strengthening Alex expected to become hurricane, possibly the world's first Oilicane!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Volunteers
Medical laboratory studying premature ejaculation are looking for men who can come quickly.
written by Trollbuster General, 29 June 2010
Help Yourself!
The US donates unexploded bombs dropped over past four years to the Taliban.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Sitting Out Hurricane!
BP CEO Tony Hayward says he may have to sit out Hurricane in Gulf by going back to yacht, "The Oil Spiller".
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Then, Back To The Yacht
BP CEO says that his company may have to file for moral bankruptcy!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Hot Stuff Inside!
Megan Fox marries just before being inducted to the Hollywood Hall Of Flame!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
White Elephant
Rare 'white' elephant Purchased in Burma a beginning of big sale!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Obama: No Comment
Obama Ducks Question on Alleged Russia Spy Ring! Limbaugh: "That's because he's #12!"
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Putin Fears Spy Arrests
Putin fears 'spy' harm to US ties. "We're now forced to arrest eleven of your guys."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Progress As We Talking
McChanges: Petraeus to Make Afghan Adjustments. Rocks to be rearranged.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
YES WE DO!
U.S. Pays $1.4M to Study 'Social Milieu' of Male Prostitutes in Ho Chi Minh City. Meanwhile more schools cutting back on lunch programs.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Lots Of Zigzag Lightning!
City budgets cutting July 4th fireworks...hoping for nice big thunderstorm.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Bailouts Keep Jumping
FREDDY Bailout Could Cost Taxpayers $1 Trillion. FANNY Bailout may make them pay through the ass!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Kagan Catching It Now!
Asked if she's a 'legal progressive,' Kagan says: Huh?... As Matlock, called in for help, examines Supreme Court Nominee!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Ticker Tape
Consumer Confidence Plummets...Obama: Economy is 'strengthening'....European stocks plunge on growth worries.... Obama: Things are looking up...BP may have to stop due to Hurricane..Obama: Yes We.."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Hippy Days Are Here Again
Retired police officer in NYC says that during Vietnam protest era, both Peter and Paul led them on a Mary chase!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
THAT'S Why Subway Rats Getting So Heavy
FDA says that rat poison imported from China has lead in it.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Bees Dying!
Researchers now admit that they have no idea what is killing off all the nation's spelling bees.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Miley Smiley
Singer Miley Cyrus says that she is still celebate, but won't say since when.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Head Bonehead In Washington
Vice President Joe Biden has just been inducted into the "Foot In Mouth" Hall of Fame. All interviewers have to do is keep him talking, something he loves to do.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Russian Madame Busted
An ambitious Russian madam was busted for running a hind-end....high-end prostitution ring around Manhattan featuring a stable of lookers...hookers!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Ringo's Gold Bum!
Ringo Starr gold bum to be displayed at NY museum. I'm sorry, that should be "drum".
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Pressing Question from the Sun
Daily Sun today declared the most essential question that needs an answer is:
"At a movie theatre which arm rest is yours?"
written by Inchcock, 29 June 2010
No Scary Movies
Most horror fans say that today's horror movies are only blood & gore. "The only thing that scares you if what they charge you for popcorn, raisinettes and coke!"
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Biden Steps In It Again
General Petraeus warns panel that Afghanistan war "may get more intense." Then pauses to ask visiting VP Biden "Why all the law questions?, Mr. Biden. The Supreme Court hearings are next door."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Spy Accusations Baseless
Russian foreign minister says U.S. spy ring allegations 'baseless'. "None of us here even know Karl and the boys."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Gunman Quakes Up
In England, gunman at centre of three-hour bank siege was 'drunk' and had an imitation weapon made from a toy duck.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Desserters Unmasked
Thousands of French Nazi collaborators to be unmasked as official reports are published online for the first time. "Tired of wearing mask for 65 years" says one.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Laid-Off Stigma
Job seekers fight laid-off stigma. Especially hit hard are the nation's prostitutes!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Another Lawsuit
Hershee Candees say they will no longer put out anymore "Filth Avenue Candy Bars" after customer found a rat tail in their bar!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Million Dollar Suit
A patient at General Hospital has sued the hospital after her awakening during surgery to hear, "Sponge! Bigger Sponge! Plunger & Mop!"
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Elco Has Canceled Infomercial
Elco has canceled all their infomercials on their product, "The Sally Struthers Shoulder Builders".
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
General Mills Recall
General Mills has announced the recall and demise of their cereal, "All-Brain".
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Oprah Hs Eyes On The Senate!
Oprah says she may run for office in Illinois. She says she's willing to put 100 million into campaign. Everyone voting for her will also get a new car!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Oprah Into Politics
After reaching #1 on the top 100 influential people in America, Oprah is talking about running for office. "If that idiot, Al Franken can do it, I can too"
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Al Gore Changing
Since splitting up with his longtime mate, Tipper, Al Gore has gone through a change. Now he's warning everyone about Global Humidity!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Looked Like Him
McDonald's heir attacked and robbed of £250,000 in his home. Police questioning HamBurglar.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Talking Tech!
FIFA president Sepp Blatter apologises over disallowed England goal and concedes it's time to talk about technology. In fact, anything but sports!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
England Footballers Return
Not a fan in sight: England's band of toothless lions skulk home to get back a free pistol, private room.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
And Then There Were Eleven
Feds Charge 11 With Acting as Agents for Russia. Yes, there were 10, but one policeman in raid turned himself in.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
"Maybe We Could Call It Practice"
Police arrest models after fashion show. Still attempting to come up with charges.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
How About Atlantic-Pacific Airlines?
Southwest Airlines launches Boston-Philly flights. Northeast Airlines launches Dallas-Phoenix flights.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Happens Every Night
Actor/Actress (place name here)__________ charged with DUI in Los Angeles last night.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Sued To Death
9 in 10 docs blame lawsuit fears for overtesting, filling out 20 forms at every visit, including Will update.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Off To See Europe!
Bionic British cat Oscar with the faux paws found 1200 miles from home after being missing for six hours.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Stop The Oil, Win Big Money!
Got a fix for oil spill? It may be worth a prize. New 'Stop That Oil Spill' Reality Show hits the air!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Winds Could Hit Us At 5 MPH!
Storm could slow oil spill cleanup from far away, say BP experts in delay tactics.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Hamas Spy Sent To Asylum
Hamas spy finds home in California, seeks asylum. Declared "Crazy", given his wish, wearing straight jacket.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Neither One Sounds Appetizing
Move over fruit, meat-flavored colas moving in. I'm sorry, that should have read "vodkas".
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Greeks On Strike
Greeks walk off job in general strike over reforms that prevent them from bearing gifts.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Kagan Pledges Modest Approach
Kagan pledges modest approach as justice. Will be fully dressed under her gown.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
"See This Watermelon?"
Officials urging caution when using fireworks, get off on blowing up those watermelons again.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
She Has The Power
Oprah tops Forbes celebrity 'power list' after purchasing older nuclear missiles at bargain prices, desert-mountain area in Utah.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Port A Bad Choice
Teen sailor returns to port where her voyage began. Regrets that she didn't start with tradition champagne.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Megan Green Fox Married
Megan Fox marries Brian Austin Green in Hawaii. Changes her name to Megan Green Fox solely to get more attention.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Doctor After Revenge
US doctor convicted of Kangslaughter in Australia. Drove Hummer off the road to try to hit the Big Hoppers after one punched him out when he was coming from bar.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Search For Plane
Search for missing airplane focuses on bison range, missing cloaking device.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
We're Catching On!
NY case alleges Russian snooping by 10 agents overlooked for 20 years. Say there could be from 10 to 10,000 more.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Chicago Hoods Fear New Law
Chicago handgun ban on way out, but mayor vows fight. However, police say they're glad to quit having to carry rifles, grenades.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
With Certain Precautions
Justices extend gun owner rights nationwide. However, guns should be holstered and no hair triggers!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Utah: Off-State Arming
Utah gun permit business booming - in other states. Before Court ruling you could still get gun permit from Utah, even if never there.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Fake Companies Continually Discovered
FTC Says Scammers Stole Millions, Using Virtual Companies. "There never was a NigerianGold/SilverYoursInBank.com!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
New Gun Laws
Fast facts: High court's gun-rights ruling at a glance. "Home owners, you can bring out those weapons you have hid. They're legal again.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
What's The Answer?
Drugs an easy fix. Americans are treated, and overtreated, non-treated, to death!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
FTC Finally Catches On
FTC Says Scammers Stole Millions, Using Virtual Companies that never existed, like "Pinochle Panties".
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Chicago-Style Gun Control
Chicago gun ban on way out, but mayor vows fight, hauling out machine guns.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Go Back 4,000 Years
Petraeus faces questions from war-weary lawmakers. "Go back 40 years. Everything the same, just different countries, different soldiers. We ever accomplish anything, unless defending our OWN country?"
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Party Partison At Hearings
Second day of Kagan hearings to draw out partisan battle lines. "Tell us this, you slut homely...."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
New Border Posters
The US is replacing the warning posters on the border fence with Mexico with ones showing the countries unemployment figures. Illegal immigration is down twenty percent already.
written by IainB, 29 June 2010
Reporter Inchcock Keeps Mobile
Inchcock Chambers, our decrepit unpaid reporter, has sold his beloved Skoda Estelle, due to rust, and pollution laws. We have helped him financially of course. We have bought him a monthly bus pass.
written by Inchcock, 29 June 2010
Trafalgur Square
Trafalgur Square is a place in England where you can say anything you want! Well Spoof is a place in America where you can write anything you want and no one has to listen to or publish as well !
written by mancalledhorsemanure, 29 June 2010
Englands THC declares war on US
Since England had declared war on America's use of the English language and since Spoof is America's counter part to Englands " The Hell Club,' what better than to Spoof them back ?
written by mancalledhorsemanure, 29 June 2010
Forest Gump
Since the BP oil spill in the Gulf has caused such a big stir on claims for money I just wondered why we can't sue Bubba Gump Shrimp for using to much oil in their sea food longer than BP ?
written by mancalledhorsemanure, 29 June 2010
Ball Buster
With a Hernia I now have three balls. If I had four then I just got married in San Francisco !
written by mancalledhorsemanure, 29 June 2010
What do you call it when a girl knees a guy in the groin ?
What do you call it when a girl knees a guy in the groin ? " A Her Knee A ! "
written by mancalledhorsemanure, 29 June 2010
Drive Barbara Boxer Crazy ?
I got an E-mail from a politician to " Drive Barbara Boxer Crazy," where I replied " Is that like Driving Miss Daisey," where my E-mail was sent back returned to sender !
written by mancalledhorsemanure, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Cuba
Cuba: Cuba's new Tourism board will use the slogan: "Come for the socialized medicine, stay for the Havana to Miami Raft Races!"
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Cocos
Cocos (Keeling) Islands; "Cocos Island; Tueaday is Ladies night, Wednesday is 'Float on a Wood Door from Sri Lanka to the Cocos' night.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Christmas Island
Christmas Island; Cuban refugees continue to float to Florida on flotsam and homemade rafts, because of political pressure. Wait . . . replace Cuba with Vietnam and Florida with Christmas Island.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Cyprus
Cyrpus: The cheap getaway: It STILL costs less to holiday in Cyprus than in Turkey, Greece or any of the weird Eastern Europe countries no one gives a sh-t about.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Czech Republic
Czech Republic: The US will face the Czech Republic on Tuesday in its final group match in the World Cup of Softball, another sport Americans hate.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Columbia
Colombia: In the News today, a man shot by a Columbian Sheriff's Deputy Has Died. Ziggy Marley has promised to rework his father's song accordingly.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: China
China: Barack Obama urged China to join them in condemning North Korea. China reminded Obama that it was our enemy by nuking Duluth, Minnesota.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Chile
Chile; Like most military actions in Chile, Brasil make short work of them in World Cup action, defeating Chile, burning its capital and usurping their piddling little claim in Antartica.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Chad
Chad: The State Department warns U.S. citizens avoid all travel to Chad/Central African Republic area, citing violence, rebel forces, and because Chad is such a gay name for a nation.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
News From Other Countries: Cayman Islands
Cayman Islands; GPS maker Garmin has relocated it's offices from Grand Cayman to Switzerland. Same secretive, tax evading, numbered bank accounts, less chance of Hurricane damage.
written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
Lindsay Lohan Says That It Was Never Her In The Topless Photos And Nip-Slip Pictures
She's also never been drunk, used drugs, evaded arrest, had a lesbian relationship, been a problem on a movie set, or forgotten to wear her panties.
written by unknown
Lindsay Lohan Says That It Was Never Her In The Topless Photos And Nip-Slip Pictures
Someone brought in a pair of stunt titties?
written by unknown
Viagra admits inventors were scrambled letter fans
"Finish curving down the r into an n and our product has the same letters as Vagina, since it's really a medicine to give them help too."
written by unknown
Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away
Mel Gibson and Michael Richards wonder who is now the most racist white man in America.
written by unknown
Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away
Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Louis Farrakham probably won't attend funeral.
written by unknown
Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away
Death cancelled his promotional contract with erectile dysfunction pill, where he was to say "With Viagra, I've been screwing Americans for 92 years!"
written by unknown
Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away
West Virginia to rename flipping someone off to "giving the Byrd" in his honor.
written by unknown
Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away
KKK sheets to be worn at half mast for the next 30 days.
written by unknown
Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away
KKK will have a 21 burning cross salute at his funeral.
written by unknown
Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away
With the death of the former KKK member, Barack Obama is the most racist man in the American Government.
written by unknown
Gluteus Maximus
How come where not taught more about the Roman General Gluteus Maximus in are history books. He must of been a real Ass.
written by Frog-rotta, 29 June 2010
Byrd Honored?
Senators Hail Byrd, the "Anchor of the Senate" and one heck of a good Klansman.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Netherlands or Holland?
The Netherlands (Holland) will now meet Brasil (Brazil) after they made it through to the last eight of the 2010 World Cup with a goal in each half to beat Slovakia (Czechoslovakia) 3-1.
written by Monkey Woods, 29 June 2010
Feingold Rejects Bill
Feingold's Rejection of Wall Street Bill Leaves Dems One Short. Bends over for expected ass kick.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Oliver & Hardy Back
A region's new fear: An oily hurricane. BP: "I'm sorry Oily". New Orleans: "This is another fine mess you've gotten us into!"
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Guard Troops Sent To Border
524 Guard soldiers headed to Arizona-Mexico border. May have to regroup at the Alamo Mission.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Soap Factory Problems
Huish Soap Factory employees trapped inside after water spill won't allow anyone to be able to turn the doorknob.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
KC Lockdown
Kansas City has announced that the whole city is in a lockdown after the "Key to the City" was given to an imposter!
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
"Uh Oh, Somebody Goofed!"
Same man arrested again in Afghanistan for being Bin Laden. "Sorry Sir, that makes three times." "Only twice for me, lads."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
"I'm Outa Here!"
Amnesia victim asks to remain anonymous after viewing over 100 ugly old ladies trying to claim him.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Clinton Finds Turkey A Tough Old Bird!
"Turkey disappointed with Israel", says Secretary of State Clinton. "Also, they don't like me. Apparently Rice was just a side dish to them."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Honeybees Return
Honeybees return. Experts believe they have been partying as most have hard nectar on their breath.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Sewer Gang Outside G-20 Also
Sewer gang among 500 arrested at G-20 summit! "Worse than tear gas say police. But THEY are used to it!"
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Judge Not Happy
Court: Christian group can't bar gays, get funding. Also, gay bars can't bar Christian group. Court bans both from coming before them ever again.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Passengers Used Most Of Money On "Extras"
Atlanta airport delays have most Ripple Effects. Hundreds of bottles of cheap wine found daily in trash containers.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Fly High Free Byrd
Everyone in Washington is asking, Who will replace Byrd? "He had quite a brain", says Barney Frank.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Just Like Me
Angelina Jolie says Shiloh 'wants to be a boy'. Actress talks family with Vanity Fair, says she was just like daughter as kid. "Sometimes I still am a boy. Ask a girl friend."
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Warning: Cheney Back Out
Cheney leaves hospital after treatment. "Should be good for another 3,000 miles", says hospital doctor.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Everybody Wants Beautiful Afghanistan
Analysis: Petraeus faces daunting challenges. Especially since battles have been fought here for 4,000 years.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Oil Disappointment
Authorities say that storm in Gulf could push more oil inland. Those on shore I'm sure were wishing they would pull them back out to sea.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
Squirrel Wheels Of Justice
U.S. arrests 10 alleged Russian secret agents after spotting them in only 20 years.
written by Bureau, 29 June 2010
