Israel Gaza Probe #2
Israel Gaza probe criticised by Turkey and Palestinians. Saudi Arabian also condemns actions but once again tell Israel that they have permission to fly over their country. Wink, Wink! Nod! Nod!"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Still Had Time To Be A Senator
FBI releases secret Kennedy files. Over 100 death threats a month, women a year. How many death threats from husbands and boyfriends?
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Fifa are due to rule on whether Drogba can play with a protective cast on his broken arm
If so, it opens the way for Gareth Barry to wear a plastic ankle casing, Ledley King to use a composite knee support, and Robert Green to take his white stick onto the pitch.
written by Roy Turse, 14 June 2010
Big Chief Dearlove In Satanic Pagan Link!
MI6 chief Sir Richard Dearlove has been appointed the new
Master of Satanism seeming to cement the links between
UK Paganism and the Secret Services.
written by iscrivener, 14 June 2010
Something To Fight For
Afghans say US team found huge potential mineral wealth. May purchase their own army.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Taxes: The Great Cure-All
German Chancellor Angela Merkel & French President Nicolas Sarkozy have renewed calls for a global bank levy and a financial transaction tax. Banks begin packing for headquarters in neutral countries.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Turkey's Feathers Still Ruffled
Israel Gaza probe criticised by Turkey and Palestinians as not being impartial, as theirs would have been.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Obama Plays Don Quixote
Barack Obama calls for clean energy push. As has every US President over the past 40 years. Where Are The windmills? In our heads?
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
God unhappy
"I'm fed up with these insurance companies blaming me for all sorts of disasters, no one blames the devil do they? You dont here them say; "Act of the devil" No, its always my fault.
written by armfeetandtoe, 14 June 2010
Hey - look out for the Robert Green PC virus
One minute it all works to plan, the next, you can't save anything.
written by Roy Turse, 14 June 2010
BP Buring Midnight Oil
BP burned the midnight oil once again last night trying to think of everything, including a late call to a major tampax company.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Local Illiterate Man Can't Read this Spoof Snippet
Local illiterate man Kevin Grimes, 42, says he doesn't have a f*cking clue what this spoof snippet is all about.
"It's probably saying I'm a stupid hairy bastard or something", he grumbled.
written by unknown
Local man Stares at Tits While Playing with his Cock
Local man Barry Nubbins spent the entire afternoon gazing at a family of Blue Tits feeding in his garden today, while he played with his prize-winning pet Cockerel Percy.
written by unknown
Local Man Turns Life Around
He had been trying to read his copy of the magazine upside down.
written by unknown
Obama Must Return Peace Prize
Nobel Committee asks President Obama to return his Nobel Peace Price after all that ass kicking!
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
BP Oil Receiving Advice
The head old BP Oil was asked today if any of people's ideas they were sending were of any help. "We can't try many of them, we don't have time, & people signing with 'Jed Clampett' are not helping."
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Somalian extreme Islamists issue death sentence on people watching the footy!
Somalian Islamic groups have issued the death sentence on people caught watching the World Cup, its not Islamic entertainment they claim: but cutting peoples heads off on the internet is!
written by unknown
Charitable Germany withdraw from World Cup!
Germany, yes Germany, have done the rest of the footy world a favour, they've withdrawn their team because in an overwhelming show of charity they are giving the others a chance to win!
written by unknown
Justin Bieber: " I have a girlfriend..."
... She lives in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.
written by anthonyrosania, 14 June 2010
Fabio Capello Makes Denial
England football coach Fabio Capello has denied that he had sex with a horse on Sunday night - despite not being accused of doing so.
written by Darwin, 14 June 2010
Morgan To Replace King!
Piers Morgan to replace Larry King on CNN. King says he's tired, wants to spend more time with his ancestors.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Still Thinking Maybe
Liberal DC think tank running White House response to BP? Most say no, because there has been no real response to BP.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Limited To Lower Altitude!
FAA under pressure to open skies to drones, lawn chair balloonists.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
TV Ratings
TV Ratings double among US viewers of the games. Over 120 viewers say they are looking up from their books and computers every time the crowd cheers.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
That Game Noise
Ronaldo hits out at Venezuela. What? Who? Oh, Ronaldo hits out at vuvuzelas...the horns.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Blowing The Games!
Horn blowing is destroying the games in South Africa. One player says "You can't eben tink strut."
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Obama in resignation drama
President Barack Obama has announced that he will resign the US Presidency effective noon tomorrow. He claims that BP has threatened to contaminate the "rose garden" with tar balls if he doesn't do so
written by whatinthe world, 14 June 2010
Eyes Of The Beer Holder
The attractive appearances of the opposite sex depends both on other's perceptions plus how much they have had to drink, plus how close it is to the time the pub closes.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Some People Never Learn
Blagojevich now accused of trying to sell Helen Thomas's Front-and-Center seat at press conferences.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Queen Forgets Seatbelt
The Queen who forgot to clunk-click and drives her Jag without wearing a seatbelt, asked to resign.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Drivers Are Warned
Add screenwash or risk contracting Legionnaires' disease, old drunks running out at stoplights and washing windshield for money, drivers are warned.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Journalist Facing Jail Time
Journalist facing jail for leaking embarrassing off-air video clip of Nicolas Sarkozy TV interview with farts, laughs and Polish jokes!
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Excitement Over Mars
The red plains of Mars were once covered by a vast ocean... and lush planet could have supported extra-terrestrial life! Or maybe not.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Wonder What 5-Year-Olds Get?
British parents' fury as shops sell high heels for girls aged three, bras at age four!
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Blackout Sabotage
Was goal blackout sabotage? Bookmakers gave odds on break in ITV transmission that let fans miss England score! "And how about that goalie?"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
WPC Wins Damages
WPC wins £575,000 damages after being called 'whoopsy' and 'lipstick' by sexist colleagues...'that lot of arseholes over there.'
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Most Deaf At Soccer Games
Put a sock in them! Players, fans and broadcasters demand World Cup ban on Vuvuzelas' irritating drone! "Anybody get that? Something about drones. Hope they don't land here."
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Takes Up A Lot Of Net Space
Elephant that blocked U.S. football squad on trunk road hired as new goalie by England.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
New England Boom!
New England ports expect record cruise ship season. "Who's going through an oil slick from Florida Coasts?" ask tourists.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Life After Simon
Paula Abdul says there's life after Simon. "It's that Simple!"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Fans Get What They Want
Taylor Swift, other stars give the fans what they want: Naked bluegrass bands! "Now watch that guys nuggets when he hits that high note!"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Both: Glad That's Over
Motorola and Research In Moving Pictures That Talk, finally settle dispute after 80 year court battle.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
US Scientists Receive Award
Top Portuguese award, The Portal Potty, goes totwo US scientists.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Russian Rocket Primed
Russian rocket primed for space station mission. Should be blown to pieces sometimes early this week.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
The Blago Trial
Pictures of Blagojevich: A crook or a fool? Many who know him say, probably both!
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
They're For Our Health
Americans get most radiation from medical scans, not airport scanners, microwave overs.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Barataria? Surely Barataria Is Safe!
Barataria estuary now ground zero in oil spill. BP says that US has began making up names for spills to reach.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Arizona's Next Target
Arizona's next immigration target according to officials: The deportation of all Chubicabra.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Rich Minerals Discovered!
Report: US finds mineral riches in Afghanistan. Taliban gives up. "They'll never leave here now."
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
No To Drones!
FAA under pressure to open US skies to drones. GOP objects. Say that there are enough following Obama around Washington already.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Drones Over The US?
FAA under pressure to open US skies to gnomes! I'm sorry, that should be 'drones'.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Fourth Time Around
Obama plans fourth tour of Gulf oil spill. Will place wreath while in Pensacola Beach, to "The Unknown Pelican".
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Jimmy Dean Lived The Dream, Dies At 81
Singer, sausage businessman Jimmy Dean dies at 81. Mr Dean's body will be buried wrapped mummy-like with secret herbs and spices.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
"Hey, That's An Idea!"
Singer, sausage businessman Jimmy Dean dies at 81. Got idea for making big sausages after singing hit, "Big Bad John".
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
"Mr. Drone..Change Courses....Mr. Drone!"
FAA under pressure to open US skies to drones. Estimate that less than 5% would fly into passenger planes.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Dems Rise On Oil Slick
Dem rises in Fla. Senate race despite odd baggage. Most plan to vote and move away from this oil mess as soon as possible.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Koreas Address The UN
Two Koreas to address U.N. over ship sinking. Stories to vary somewhat.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Ky. Teaching Staff Could Be Cut
Kentucky to save school budgets by placing whole grade into gyms, hiring one teacher to teach up to 100-150 students at one time.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
May Double Class Sizes
In bold move, Colorado alters teacher tenure, pay rules, with new "One Buck Per Year" raises.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Obama Faces Rare Defeat
Obama faces rare defeat on health help for jobless in Mexico.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Arizona Up To No Good Again
Arizona's Next Immigration Target: Children of Illegals, their cookies, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, little dogs and kitties.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Obama On Fourth Tour #2
Obama plans fourth tour of Gulf oil spill. Doing last minute preparations of stern looks, Practicing ass-kicking.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Obama Back Touring Oil Spill
Obama plans fourth tour of Gulf oil spill. Bringing 2,000 cameramen, reporters, a concerned posture to help.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Minerals Riches
Report: US finds mineral riches in Afghanistan. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
UK Goalie Blames Ball for Unforced error!
"Me cup slipped and I pinched me nut...terrible pain, and very distracting!"
written by unknown
Fergie Fitted with Alcohol Monitor!
Assignment for 'Taking the Piss' now down to either Scotland Yard or Technicians from Moorview Institute. Disgraced former Royal puts title up for sale; Elton John top bidder so far....!
written by unknown
Spoof Writing Contest Threatened by Sniper Attack!
Loose Cannon goes off in San Franciso....shot wide of mark only brings ridicule!
written by unknown
Obama's Father & Grandfather Opposed Abortion Leading to Unintended Consequences for Barry!
"bunch of BASTARDS!"
written by unknown
Hillary's Behind Use of Clean Energy!
Lyposuction of her arse fuels NY house for 6 months....rest of Obama's Pants Suit Posse lines up to support Barry's energy initiative and promise to
lose most of their arse as soon as November.
written by unknown
Britain's Soccer Team Looking like Tiger Woods!
No Nookie on Away Games said to be taking it's toll...especially in goal!
written by unknown
Gordon Brown's Wife Gets 6 figure book deal!
Entire book filled with humorous ancidotes of fun loving former PM.
Brits already laughting their arse off!
written by unknown
elf 'n safety on way out....drunken slashers rejoice!
No longer required to keep both hands on knife to prevent cutting themselves!
written by unknown
Obama Still Has Balls!
Plays 38th round of golf while country looks for leadership they can count on.
written by unknown
Bee Keepers Union Supports UK Goalie!
Occupational hazard mate....every onst in a while you get stung...but not usually on the world wide telly!
written by unknown
England formation
Capello has admitted that he is trying the equine formation, by playing a donkey up front, an ass at the back, and replacing the donkey with a horse with ten minutes to go.
written by IainB, 14 June 2010
Big Bad John
Country music star and sausage entrepreneur Jimmy Dean has passed away, police said on Monday. On the other hand, I still can't pass the Jimmy Dean sausage biscuit I had for breakfast last Monday.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 14 June 2010
Tea Partiers Pick Clear Favorite
76 percent of the tea party members picked Tetley over Lipton. Betcha thought it was going to be Didier huh?
written by Charpa93, 14 June 2010
Obama is Mad at the Wrong People
President Obama's mad over the BP gulf oil spill and wants to kick ass. The problem is that his elitist ideological "know it all" administration snobs can't find their ass with both hands!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 June 2010
Job Requirement
You don't have to be an ideological environmentalist moron to work for the EPA, but it helps!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 June 2010
Obama to Speak to the Nation about the BP Oil Spill
The president will tell EPA, OSHA & his environmental advisor to pound sand. He will then tell local gulf state governors & mayors, they are free of Washington DC intervention & to clean up the mess!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 June 2010
Americans not Taxed Enough, Liberals to Volunteer
House Speaker Pelosi & Sen. Majority Leader Reid have called on Democratic left wing Congressional members & all liberals to pay an additional $40,000 in income taxes to pay-down the national debt!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 June 2010
In The Same Boat
President Obama's comments about the BP oil spill were not "anti-British", the American ambassador to London has said. "They simply make it look like he's doing something, just like you."
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Kan Warns Japan
Japan PM Naoto Kan warns of 'collapse' under debt pile. President Obama Offers help from the US. "Just pay us what you owe."
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
FARC From Ork
Colombia's military rescues two top military officials held by FARC. Action angers both FARC & MORK, both from Ork.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Porn Sites Exploitation
Visitors to porn sites are at serious risk of being exploited by cyber criminals, a study has suggested. Not that anyone who writes for the Spoof would need worry.
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudist TV Shows #40
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Sanford & Sun".
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudists TV Shows #39
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "The Odd Couple (They're Cross-Eyed)"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudist TV Shows #38
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Where's My Lines?"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudist TV Shows #37
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Twin Peaks (For Geeks)"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudist TV Shows #36
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "SpongeBob Sans Pants"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudist TV Shows #35
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "The (Eunuch) Sopranos"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudist TV Shows #34
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Six, And The Pity"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudist TV Shows #33
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Second Titty Television"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudist TV Shows #32
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Saturday Sight Live!"
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
Top Nudist TV Shows #31
A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Spotlighting".
written by Bureau, 14 June 2010
