Holy Geritol, Batman!
Burt Ward, who played Robin in the 1960's television series, turned 65 and is now on Social Security!
written by unknown
Unusually Uncertain
Market slides after Bernanke's 'unusually uncertain' comment: "Whether any of us are still alive in five years, I say it's 50-50."
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Nicolae Ceausescu exhumed 'wearing his black winter coat'
When his body was examined, a note found in his pocket read, "I bet you're all wondering why I am wearing my black winter coat. Well that's for ME to know and YOU to find out."
written by unknown
Female Czech MP's to pose for 2011 Calendar
Female members of the Czech parliament have posed for a glamorous calendar to highlight the growing presence of women in Czech politics. They say they got the idea from the W.I.of Newby,Isle of Wight.
written by unknown
Bad Headline Number 64:
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better
written by IN SEINE, 21 July 2010
Chinese Have Easy Answer
Chile having lots of problems with oil spill also. Now using oil-eating people who were responsible to clean up.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Obama unveils new Iraqi Administration plan
Government subsidised burkhas to be provided to low income families.
written by unknown
Obama unveils new Iraqi Administration plan
Retired suicide bombers with at least 25 years of experience can begin drawing pension at age 60.
written by unknown
Obama unveils new Iraqi Administration plan
Pork chops approved on school lunch menues
written by unknown
Obama unveils new Iraqi Administration plan
Insists that suicide bombers receive dental, eye glasses, and long term disability benefits on their insurance plans.
written by unknown
HO Ho Hot!
Some malls are promoting "Christmas in July" with holiday music, ornaments, and special prices. Nothing gets you in the holiday spirit like a department store Santa in a thong.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Obama The Loser
New poll shows that: ANY REPUBLICAN WOULD BEAT OBAMA IN '12. Providing he doesn't make all illegal immigrants legal voters.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Obama Sneaked Lots Of Things Into "Health" Bill
Gold Coin Sellers Angered by New Tax Law as Amendment Slipped Into Health Care Legislation Would Track, Tax Coin and Bullion Transactions. "I knew Obama couldn't be trusted", says investor.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Bad Headline Number 63:
L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
written by IN SEINE, 21 July 2010
We Need To Be Relaxed
Workplace Bullying: New York Bill Targets Abusive Bosses! Congress objects to terms including pages and staff.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Everyone in Thai prison will have to eat Tuna Sandwiches
Thai prisons will now make it mandatory to eat Tuna sandwiches, no exceptions not even for vegetarians and people who are allergic to Tuna. the prisons want everyone to eat Tuna.
written by rpm1978, 21 July 2010
LiLo planning next publicity stunt!
Lindsay Lohan is pleased with the free publicity she has gotten over the past few weeks. She can't wait to get out and violate probation again to bring on more of the same.
written by janella, 21 July 2010
Cris Angel Appears at AARP Convention!
Cris Angel is creating magic for the AARP convention in Vegas this week. Tickets are SOlD OUT, as women are flocking to the show in anticipation of having Cris make their wrinkles disappear!
written by janella, 21 July 2010
LiLo planning next publicity stunt!
Lindsay Lohan is pleased with the free publicity she has gotten over the past few weeks. She can't wait to get out and violate probation again to bring on more of the same.
written by janella, 21 July 2010
After Teeth Pulling Accidents
Nestless Candy Company recalls the "Mr. Goodtar" candy bars!
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Doctors Say He Dreamed It
Patient at Boston General during operation: "Are you sure this Gosselin person is a male?"
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Virgin Galactic Spacecraft Ready
Virgin Galactic spacecraft makes 1st screwed flight..that should be, first 'crewed' flight.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Obama Jealous
George Clooney to receive TV academy's humanitarian award as being most attractive human.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Aniston Stalker Sought
Court grants Jennifer Aniston restraining order as she has spotted Krueger man over 15 times.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
New Needlework
Microneedles may make getting flu shots easier, junkies to disguise themselves.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Blockade Easing
With blockade's easing, some Gaza factories revive. Israel claims that they are making rocks!
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Remarks Reconsidered
USDA, NASCAR reconsider employee's ouster over race remarks.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Obama Choosing New Friends
Cameron rebuffs US, says no new inquiry on bomber after snooty US President treats him like Israeli leader at meetings.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Oakland Prepares For Pot Growth
Oakland votes to permit large marijuana farms. Will also employ ten guards for every acre.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Oil Wars Continue
Messy cleanup of BP oil spill damages the Gulf brings in fleet of ships bigger that allies on D-Day.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
China's Oil Spill
Official: 'Severe threat' as China oil spill grows larger. "I just hope that never happens here", says Joe Biden.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Obama Requests New Title
President Obama asks to be introduced as "Your Czar of czars!"
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Obama Back To Sweeping
President Obama poised to sign sweeping freedoms overhaul!
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Filibuster Broken
Filibuster broken, jobless benefits may flow soon. Thousands quit jobs to get in on free two-year unemployment vacations.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
That Old Black Magic!
Pre-Columbian burial ground unearthed in Costa Rica. Haiti asks to purchase some for ceremonies.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Sports Imitating Congress
NHL rejects Kovalchuk's 17-year deal with Devils, following NBA approval of 25-year Lebron James deal with Miami.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
US Becoming Little China?
Democrats to Propose Extending Middle-Class Tax Cuts. Get official approval from China.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Rubber Breaks
Rubberized dam breaks at man-made Arizona lake, sperm may have impregnated thousands.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Grandkids Pay Up Again
Filibuster broken, jobless benefits may flow soon as more money borrowed from future generations.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Bad Timing
At least 25 hurt in turbulence aboard United flight. Hit especially hard were a couple attempting to join mile High Club & wound up floated around naked.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Plans To Sue Their Socks Off!
At least 25 hurt in turbulence aboard United flight. One embarrassed male floated out of bathroom.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
United Flight Turbalance.
At least 25 hurt in turbulence aboard United flight as those unbuckled float around the cabin.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Inmate Recalls Escape
Former inmate recalls daring escape from the White House and the Obama administration! Used old Bill Clinton tunnel.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Nicolae Ceausescu's remains exhumed
So...he's STILL exhumed and he's STILL dead..
It's all in how you read the title...
written by unknown
More Debt On It's Way
Obama poised to sign sweeping financial screw-up, to follow health care screw-up.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
Kim Extremely Mad, But He Was Anyway
US announces new sanctions against North Korea. A full cutting off of all cartoons as they will be blocked.
written by Bureau, 21 July 2010
If you think YOUR love life 'stinks'....
If you think your love life stinks, it COULD be worse. An unlucky adolescent platypus went looking for love - and ended up trapped in a Australian sewage treatment plant.
Don't you feel better now?
written by unknown
Pope reaching out - to space
The Pope is to deliver his Christmas message this year in Klingon in a bid to reach out to students of the 'world's fastest growing language.' "Fock a chock, buck buck!" said one Klingon student.
written by A MCRORY, 21 July 2010
Elderly could still face 'death tax' to pay for care
A Death Tax, how much of a 'threat' is that? We'll be DEAD.
written by unknown
