A pearl necklace is all the rage
Why not splash out on your girlfriend this Valentines day?
written by Roy Turse, 11 February 2009
David Beckham reaches England Landmark
Seen waving from White Cliffs of Dover
written by Roy Turse, 11 February 2009
The Salma Hayek Dairy
Salma Hayek was shown breastfeeding an African baby. The video was actually a promotion for her upcoming movie, 'The Breastfeeding Queen of New Orleans."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 February 2009
A Visit To The Mating Zoo
This Valentine's Day, the Battle Creek, Michigan Zoo will charge $50 to let visitors watch zoo animals reproduce. The tickets have sold out. Paris Hilton told her boyfriend, "Hey, I've got an idea."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 February 2009
North Korea Readies For Another 'There Goes The Missile Game'
North Korea appears poised to conduct another long range missile test. A high-ranking general in the missile department was reportedly seen at a Seoul Radio Shack purchasing 30 double A batteries.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 February 2009
Major League Baseball & The Steroid Mess
Major League Baseball will conduct another investigation into steroid use. A Federal official suggests that this time, in the interest of time, they focus on the players who did NOT use steroids.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 February 2009
Ashton "The Punk" Kutcher
Ashton Kutcher has just been signed to star in the Paramount Pictures movie, "The Demi Moore Story." Kutcher will play the part of Bruce Willis.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 February 2009
Large Hadron Collider Relaunch Delayed
No complaints, because most people are not partically interested.
written by Roy Turse, 11 February 2009
Naomi Wins Another Grammy
In case you missed all those quick showings of the "Other winners" they flash by you every year on the Grammy's, Naomi Judd won Best Performance On The Spoons"!
written by Bureau, 11 February 2009
Obama Hits Head
President Barack Obama hit his head when climbing aboard a helicopter Monday and now speaks with a French accent.
written by Bureau, 11 February 2009
Oprah Joins A-Rod
Upon hearing A-Rod's announcement about taking steroids, Oprah stated on her show that she, too, had been taking them, the real reason she was up over 200 pounds.
written by Bureau, 11 February 2009
A-Rod 's Shrinking Balls
Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez admitted Tuesday to using steroids. He claimed that his balls were so big that he was beginning to have trouble running the bases so they needed shrinking.
written by Bureau, 11 February 2009
Squirrel Shares Nuts
The economy has become so bad that yesterday, people in a park in Washington DC, say they saw a squirrel dig up a nut and bring it to an old guy on a bench.
written by Bureau, 11 February 2009
Zsa Zsa Aging Fast
Friends of Zsa Zsa Gabor say that the loss of millions of her dollars to the Bernie Madoff scandal has aged the actress nearly a hundred years.
written by Bureau, 11 February 2009
Nudist's Organ Nation
A spokesman for the "National Organ Nation Of Nudists" says he doesn't understand what all the hoopla is about Casual Friday.
written by Bureau, 11 February 2009
Spears, Hilton Charity Work
Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have signed up to do a special commercial for this year's "Dingbat Awareness Week".
written by Bureau, 11 February 2009
The B of the Bang sculpture is to be removed say Manchester Council
Leaving ang.
written by Roy Turse, 11 February 2009
John McCain 0 Houses - Cindy McCain 7 Houses
The U.S. to provide homeowners $50 billion in mortgage relief. Senator John McCain says, "Great news, for a while there, I was afraid we were going to have to sell one of our seven houses."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 February 2009
Christian "Tons of Stress" Bale
Christian Bale's sister says that her brother needs to take anger management classes. And if he doesn't then he needs to at least change his name to Mike Tyson, Jr.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 February 2009
White Collar Workers & Pink Collar Workers
General Motors plans to cut 10,000 white collar workers. Meanwhile San Francisco's Fairy Tail Beauty Salon plans to cut 7 pink collar workers.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 February 2009
Will Smith was happy at being voted the most bankable actor
until he realised bankable meant no credit and very little interest.
written by Roy Turse, 11 February 2009
Service included
A New York business offering a 'soup to nuts' approach has been accused of causing 3rd-degree burns.
written by Roy Turse, 11 February 2009
News to take the Biscuit!
Dieticians say that biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up causes calorie leakage.
written by IN SEINE, 11 February 2009
Sally: I've Lost A Gooden
Sally Gooden says her late husband Ralph was the person who jumped naked out of a plane. "We were trying to join the Mile High Club and he hit his head, thought he was back in the Marines and jumped."
written by Bureau, 11 February 2009
