Double Freak
The world's only human sized midget was revealed today at london's Leicester Square. The crowd went mild with anticipation.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Brand Named
Jo Brand is officially human, scientists discovered today after years of extensive testing.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
International Weather Forecast
Temperature today will remain at a constant 2-27 degrees.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Drunk in charge of a cart
Scottish police have arrested a horse who was found to have ten times the legal limit of alcohol in its system. The police officer said the horse had denied it had been drinking. "When I asked him, he said 'neigh'."
written by Captain Equality, 08 October 2007
Beagle 3 plans unveiled
Britain hopes to have another non-communicating dustbin lid on Mars by 2010.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Going, going, gone
David Dickinson was accidentally sold for 250 pounds today after a mix up in an auction room whilst filming.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Stealth Tax
Anybody found hiding in shadows or creeping quietly will be ordered to pay fifteen pounds as of today.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Space Catastrophe
Apparently the Dogstar has exploded. Luckily it's not Sirius.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
David Cameron's recent weight loss
Maybe he hasn't 'eton' all the pies.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Controversy In China
The Chinese government is dealing with over-population by shooting all old people at birth.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Time Team
Time Team are still investigating why people buried their houses in times gone by. More info to follow.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Cruel but Fair
3 people arrested for running underground 'ugly person' baiting ring. These illegal contests are known as 'Speed Dating'. If you have any information, or you're single and lonely, call 08764 767683525254 85 4384 3784
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Number Crunching
Recent polls suggest that faith in statistics has fallen by 16%.
written by Candice Hitler, 08 October 2007
Boy Expecting Happy Ending Disappointed
His dog hadn't run away and gone on a grand adventure as he had been told. Rather, his parents ran it over and lied to him. Neighbors called the dog "an annoying bastard" and said "good riddance!"
written by Entropus, 08 October 2007
Fat Wealthy Man Gets Smoking Hot Girlfriend
Three nearby gentlemen pretended as though they would not have sex with the woman in question on principles, calling her a "gold digger" while undressing her with their eyes.
written by Entropus, 08 October 2007
