There were 32 spoof news snippets published in 2003. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Money makes the world go round
Human rights campaigners have discovered workshops in south-east Asia, where hoards of children are suspended on ropes and forced to turn the earth like a gigantic hamster wheel.
written by Mark, 10 September 2003
George Bush: Al Quaeda Operative
An unconfirmed source has commented that George Bush may infact be a terrorist, who is determined to cripple the US financially.
written by Mark, 08 September 2003
David Blaine ate my Hamster
David Blaine the illusionist currently dangling over the Thames living off water for 44 days & nights was seen breaking his fast nibbling on a hamster. If claim is true, his attempt will be nullified.
written by Mark, 09 September 2003
Leni Riefenstahl Dies aged 101
Hitler's favourite film maker has died aged 101. TheSpoof remembers Leni for her joke film to the Führer "Hitler : Der Mann mit eine Raupe unter seine Nase" (The man with a caterpillar under his nose)
written by Mark, 10 September 2003
The Hutton enquiry : Latest
Government insists that BBC claims over Lord Hutton taking a six-minute toilet break were 'sexed-up.' An enquiry into the matter will ensue.
written by Mark, 10 September 2003
Iain Duncan Smith has momentary visibility
Doctors have confirmed that IDS can only be seen 20% of the time, and usually at night. This could explain why the Tory party is rarely noticed these days.
written by Mark, 10 September 2003
Terrorists Continue to Rock Israel
Thrash-metal group "The Terrorists" continue their world peace-tour in Israel. Fans are determined to not be deterred by ongoing suicide bombings.
written by Mark, 10 September 2003
Bush finds old garden spade
In a bizarre White House announcement, it appears that the President has found a garden spade he thought he lost last year. Mr Bush has apparently insisted that the public would want to know this.
written by KendoMonkey, 04 December 2003
We're doomed!
Corporal Fraiser was right - statistics show that we are in fact all doomed. 99% of us will be dead by the time we're 130.
written by Bob, 05 November 2003
Innocent man drops trousers
A strange incident occured in court today as Artie McGellan dropped his pants in joy upon hearing his innocent verdict. Mr McGellan has since been re-tried and is awaiting death by lethal injection.
written by KendoMonkey, 05 September 2003
Rolf Harris ties his kangaroo down
Famously bearded Rolf Harris, has been seen tying his kangaroo down. This is likely to cause confusion with those he has previously requested assistance from in this duty.
written by KendoMonkey, 01 September 2003
Man eater eaten by man
Jo Brand, eater of men (and children) was today found eaten in a fat man's stomach. Brian Anderson, 46, claims to have "no idea" how she got in there but suspects Islamic terrorists are to blame.
written by Craig E. Laycock, 11 September 2003
Catherine Zeta Jones Reveals Beauty Secrets
Hollywood legend, Catherine Zeta Jones revealed that Cif cream was the secret of her perfect complexion.
'You've got to scrub up well in the valleys' she explained.
written by Bob Muppet, 28 October 2003
Rosie O'Donnell's Weight Hits One Metric Ton
O'Donnell stepped onto a truck scale today to reveal her amazing weight of one ton.
"I wanted to give my kids something to be proud of," she said, "One ton is quite a milestone, don't you think?"
written by Johnny Moodis, 06 November 2003
Tony "The" Tiger eats Woman
Tony "The" Tiger has been arrested following allegations that he tore into a free plastic female he found in his cereal. He is now set to be Britains first animal cereal killer.
written by KendoMonkey, 02 September 2003
Mr. Blobby Shot Dead
Former TV megastar Mr. Blobby has been shot dead during a dispute with TV rebel Noel Edmonds. The police have issued Mr. Edmonds with a commendation following the murder.
written by Craig E. Laycock, 02 September 2003
Horseradish in the dock
Lawyers representing the National Union of Vegetables were in court today defending horseradish. Trading Standards believe it is "misleading" to call a vegetable horseradish when it contains no horse.
written by Craig E. Laycock, 02 September 2003
Oompah man sticks it up his jumper
Newcastle 'local oompah-man' has apparently stuck 'it' up his jumper. Residents are unable to assess the danger of the situation.
written by KendoMonkey, 03 September 2003
Drunken bees raid glue factory
Bees, soaked up with rum, have invaded a glue factory in Dublin. The bees are said to be getting "stuck in" whilst employees are helping by licking their pelts clean of the alcohol.
written by KendoMonkey, 04 September 2003
Man wins Jilly Cooper
A "huge misprint" on a box of Weetabix has resulted in a man winning mildly-acclaimed novelist Jilly Cooper. Weetabix were today seen "razzing about" in the Mini Cooper that was the intended prize.
written by Craig E. Laycock, 11 September 2003
'Aint no Mountain High Enough!
Some of the top mountaineers in the world, including Desmond Pillory and his sidekick Therpa Ginseng, have decided to hold a summit on a summit, somewhere in the world.
written by Phrank Phraser, 14 September 2003
Star Trek "is true story", says Shatner
William Shatner, today: "In fact, many primitive alien species begged us to let them on the show. In the end, I was drinking seven bottles of gin a day just to get through shooting". More to come.
written by skibz, 28 October 2003
Beware The March Of IDS
Soothsayers cackled, and smart-arses gloated as IDS was sacked!
Julius Caesar came back to haunt the Tory Party leader and how IDS marched.
Just when we were getting to like the little chappie!
written by Bob Muppet, 01 November 2003
All The Rain's Gone To The Moon !
The latest drought has been caused by the millions of windmills.
They have blown the rain to the moon.
Mr Blair is building a big pipe, so that we can get it all back!
written by Bob Muppet, 06 November 2003
Saddam Hussain pinpointed
US Military, today: "Clues have been found that suggest Saddam has escaped into the internet. Any file you download could be him in disguise, so don't do it". More to come.
written by skibz, 06 November 2003
The Dead Rise from the Grave
Great, now I have to explain to my friend why I didn't help him when those gorillas killed him, and I just know my grandmother is gonna come after me to eat my brains. This sucks.
written by Johnny Moodis, 12 November 2003
The Dead Rise from the Grave
Great, now I have to explain to my friend why I didn't help him when those gorillas killed him, and I just know my grandmother is gonna come after me to eat my brains. This sucks.
written by Johnny Moodis, 12 November 2003
Bush Shot
Today a group of boys shot at a holly bush with air rifles
written by nemat, 18 November 2003
Tea Harvest Ruined
The indian tea harvest has been devestated by the pg-chmpli bacteria.
British Security forces are on their highest state of alert. more soon >>
written by nemat, 20 November 2003
Bush to Edit News Concerning Iraq
President Bush said today that news about Iraq will be edited by his administration. In other News, Sadam Hussien was found on top of a stock pile of Weapons of Mass Destruction with Osama Bin Laden.
written by Michael Hunt, 09 December 2003
George Bush's Christmas list
1. A Gun
2. A Puppy
3. Osama bin Ladin
written by Red Dwarf, 22 December 2003
