Cucumber World Domination To Be Arrested By Cull

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

image for Cucumber World Domination To Be Arrested By Cull
Police standing guard over cucumbers in Kent

After the recent spate, in Germany, of 'deaths by cucumber', scientists are now claiming that the human race is in extreme danger of being replaced as the dominant species upon the planet by the Killer Cucumbers.

The aforementioned killer vegetables have now exterminated 14 people in Germany and a woman in Sweden, but experts say that this figure is sure to rise as the cucumbers plan for world domination unfolds in the coming weeks and months.

It's not clear just how cucumbers intend to take over the world - they have a distinct lack of mobility - but the governments of Europe are taking no chances, and have decided upon an immediate cull of the pesky green salad additions.

In England, police have cordoned-off thousands of allotments, and have extended their security of these sites to take in marrows, lettuces, cauliflowers and even cabbages.

Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs minister, James Paice, said:

"We don't want to get caught out by these cucumbers. They mean business. We're going to have to eradicate every cucumber from the world, in order to quell the threat to humanity. I've already put this plan into action; I had my wife throw away two cucumbers that were at the bottom of my fridge yesterday. They were well rotten."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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