First Frog to Grow Mustache in Recorded History

Saturday, 28 March 2009

image for First Frog to Grow Mustache in Recorded History
The length of the frog's moustache in the experiment

After 30 years of hard work, a group of scientists in Budapest have successfully made a frog grow a moustache for the first time in recorded history. "It's really a good, good feeling," says Oscar Schnippleton, one of the scientists on the project.

The scientists, working since 1979, have finally been able to produce something that Schnippleton describes as "the bestest thing ever": a dark-coloured moustache on an amphibian. "It is my life's work," said Sylvia Chaunchaundinji, one of the graphic designers on the team.

The frog is currently 2 years old, and was the last in a line of frogs used for the experiment. The scientists referred to it affectionately as Mertel. "It's one of those…you know, those…uh…one of those big ones…with, like…spots," said Schnippleton, referring to the frog.

"The moustache is similar to Tom Selleck's," explains Chaunchaundinji, "even though we were kind of going for a John Cleese effect." The frog is not being shown to the public until 2012. "At this point," explains Nermit Kingston, a health care specialist also on the team, "the moustache is still developing. We're going to try to let it grow out a bit more."

This growing of the moustache has given many of the researchers and scientists high hopes for the future, especially Schnippleton. "Who knows? Next year, we might try facial hair on jaguars and clownfish. The opportunities are endless."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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