Boston, Ma: MIT microbiologist and dna genealogist, Professor Gene Spleen has apparently found, what he referred to as, 'the stupid gene'.
Professor Spleen's research indicates every human's basic 'stupidness' can be traced back to a single dominant strand of a dna originating out of Africa sometime early in human history. Apparently, a stupid black woman.
"This chromosomal mutation is matriarchal, in other words, passed on through the genes of your mother, but the unique quality of this genome is it can attach itself to the like gene of the father. So, not only are you born stupid, but you can become more stupid. I would present the religious analogy as you are born with original sin, stupidness. Perhaps that is the reason they ate the apple, after being told not to, by GOD no less, they were just stupid."
How did this stupid gene evolve?
"Firstly, you have to consider how many chromosomal combinations, possible combinations of genetic matter that can be, it's a very delicate balance, then something 'stupid' happened. Well,stupidness, just begets stupider, etc.etc. Yet, mother nature does not do anything of a wasteful nature, it has a duality, a black a white, ying yang so to speak. We may need stupid in order to have smart, or in this case,just less stupid."
Can we manipulate the dna somehow to re-evolve and eliminate stupidness?
"No. That's stupid," Professor Spleen laughed at his little joke, "This gene is cross wired into every other gene. All humans are stupid, it's to what degree we are. Stupidity is just so pervasive it is the norm throughout our gene structure."
How is it you found the gene?
"Ironically by accident, we were looking for hair or eye color chromosomes, or some such thing and there, in my frustration ,I said, 'I can't find the stupid gene'. Eureka there it was. My assistant knocked over my microscope and I spilt my tea in our stupid glee."
Is there a 'smart' gene?
"Good question, hadn't thought of it."
