Moon suffers through Earth's total lack of regard.
Representatives from the moon today expressed their "disappointment" and regret at this afternoon's total eclipse.
At approximately 3:30 pm MT (Moon Time) the Earth completely choked off the one source of light given to its parasitic celestial body. Without warning the moon was shrouded in total darkness and residents were left wondering when or if the light would ever come back.
Although not typically a idealic place to reside, the locals were understandably enraged at this turn of events. "Sure we're not perfect. Our homes may be built on mounds of stinky cheese and our temprature extremes bounce around uncontrollably, but damn it we've got rights."
Citing a 1995 accord, White House spokesperson Scott McClellan rebutted that the moonpeople did not, in fact, have said rights-to anything. "They live on the moon. As such they are not a recognized body and will not be as long as they continue to lack any real gravitational pull." Fleisher went on to say that Germany had passed a UN resolution backing the eclipse that in their own words, "Would show those pie in the sky bastards once and for all!" While France objected to the 'pie in the sky' reference, they did eventually pass the vote marking the first time all of the security council members were in agreement since the "Jupiter Pact of 2001".
With all dark and quite on the otherwise bumpy and turbulent surface of the moon, Moonmen and Moonwomen quietly sit and wait for Mother Earth to release her Death Grip.