While leading scientists say global warming is a real concern, there's one sector of the world's population that would disagree - migratory birds.
"Don't let them feed you that horse hockey," said a mallard who declined to give his name. "If the earth is warming I sure as you know what ain't feeling it. I'm cold."
A Canada goose named Steve agreed. "You know, I read all that Al Gore garbage and I get so disgusted. I have a pretty good life, you know. Yeah, occasionally I get shot at but I'm pretty crafty, but I know when it's cold and when it isn't."
"I'll drink to that," said Brett, a swallow. "I've been migrating now for three years and I tell you, it ain't getting any warmer."
Russell, a swan, said, "You know, sometimes I think I'd just like to stay at home and watch football during the winter, but I don't see that happening. I've got a few good years of life ahead of me if I don't get shot or eaten by a larger animal so I'm going where it's warm."
Dan, a western sandpiper, said as much he would like to stay home, he has to go. "I'm not freezing my butt off," he said. "I'd like for those scientists to spend a day in my tail feathers and see how they like it."
Scientists reached for comment scoffed at the notion birds could talk.
Roscoe, a semipalmated sandpiper, said, "Tell them no-good scientists I'll do a number on their car if they don't think birds can talk."
