The Scientific Members Against Rational Thought, or SMART, for short, have released the results of a new study on human behavior and thought.
"It seems that we just don't think as much as we used to," Canadian physicist, LaBatts Icecoldbeer, said today from his office in Montreal.
According to the study, in the last 30 years, international thought processes have slowed by 15.9%. The biggest drop came in the mid-80s when Wham! was popular. "We are not sure if there is a link between the two, but we sure would like to find out." George Michael Johnson-Schmitt, one of the major researchers on the project, said.
Other possible reasons for the decline in international brain power could be:
- Computers. People just don't have to think anymore, do they?
- Cellular Technology. With text-messaging we just don't have to press the same amount of numbers we used to.
- Internet chatting. When U all start typing like Prince songs U should realize that ur language skills will suffer 2 B sure. LOL.
- In-breeding especially among European royalty and Americans in the deep South.
- The rise of obesity. We blame obesity for every other health problem, why not this?
- Reality TV. 'Nuff said.
- The disbanding of the Soviet Union and all the countries within the former Yugoslavia. War just really messes with our geography.
"Of course, none of these reasons makes a lot of sense, but who cares? It's not like anyone will think twice about them." Another researcher who asked not to be named said.
It took this reporter three full minutes to figure out that insult. Uh-oh.
