TrES-4 Exoplanet Will Be Moved Into Solar System

Funny story written by drugtestallpoliticians

Monday, 6 August 2007

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Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - Giant exoplanet TrES-4 which is 1.7 times the size of Jupiter and has the density of balsa wood will be brought into the inner solar system next week.

Scientists at Cape Canaveral launched an exoplanet retrieval vehicle this week that will very quickly arrive in the vicinity of the giant balsa wood planet. Strap on boosters powered by Multiple Thiokol Hyper Ionic Drives will propel the planet to a point just outside of the moon's orbit.

The planet will be mined for its balsa wood and the light weight material will be used to manufacture fishing bobbers or floats and will also be used to build model rockets and airplanes. There has been a shortage of the wood since the almost total destruction of the Balsa tree's habitat in the rain forests of South America.

Members of the International Astronomer's Union are vehemently opposed to the idea because the planet will block out the view of the outer solar system and beyond and they have theorized that the planet will reflect massive quantities of sunlight back in the direction of the Earth and biologists and Al Gore worry that the excess light could cause huge problems for the environment.

The balsa wood companies have a strong lobby in Washington and the project will go on despite scientists concerns about the detrimental effect the presence of the huge planet will have on Earth's living systems.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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