Written by Martin Jaeger

Monday, 25 May 2015

It has been "leaked" from Dr. Phineas Provolone, Chair of the Ornithology Section of the Smithsonian, and will appear in tomorrow's "Bird and Cuckoo Digest," that an endangered bird specie is no longer endangered.

The leaked information is in the form of an email that, instead of being deleted, was forward to Hank Tarman,at the Digest, and shows the male "Nitotymus Firth,"commonly called the "Winggoo Thrust," or "Yellow Skin Warbler," is ready to reproduce.

There are tons of females, but the male Thrust, the other half of the reproducing chain, has suffered with premature ejaculation syndrome (PES).

By the use of "fright" therapy using pictures of Hannibal Lecter, the male has been scared into taking his mind off of the female for a few moments, thereby delaying his premature ejaculation.

Everyone at the Smithsonian is ecstatic, and the curator, a man of impeccable etiquette, has sent a note of appreciation to Dr. Lecter.

Smithsonian Museum
Bird Historical and Collection Department
Ornithology Section

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: bird, ornithology




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