Rhyming Computer Virus, Worm, Bug Thing Causes Devastation, Is This the End for Civilisation?

Funny story written by Monochrome

Monday, 6 February 2006

image for Rhyming Computer Virus, Worm, Bug Thing Causes Devastation, Is This the End for Civilisation?
We Talk in Rhyme, All the Time.

A virus is causing havoc on the net,
Yet another useless waste of our time,
This, it's said, could be the worst one yet,
It turns all your prose straight into rhyme!

The crisis was revealed at first
In an email called "This Is a Nightmare",
On opening the attachment out burst
The rhyming bug from within its lair.

A note to my mum or a letter back home,
It just doesn't care who it upsets.
Chaos ensued from New York to Rome,
As Word now defaults to rhyming couplets.

Microsoft is making a patch,
But it's not going to be ready till some time next week!
It's like an itch that you just can't scratch,
Let's all go get that virus making geek!

I just wish this rhyming would desist
It's like some virulent disease,
Writing letter, note or book or list
It's going to bring me to my knees.

Please Mr Virus Bug Thing go away!
My poor old brain can't take any more.
I need to get some work done today,
I've had enough, it's such a bore!

All your work goes straight down the drain,
Someone please get me a quick fix cure.
It's driving the whole world completely insane!
Have you ever felt so insecure?

It all seems lost and it's driving you mad,
Your sanity can't take another dent.
But just when things look really bad,
A sonnet, err, I mean, a statement from the President.

A statement from the Chief of Staff;
It's the President, please don't laugh!

Sonnet No. 001 By G.W. Bush

These virus making monkeys will be stopped.
This stuff is a threat to how we all are,
I ain't gonna let this thing be just dropped,
I'm telling you now, this has gone too far.
I declare war on the these pitiful punks,
They'll wish they never crossed Dubya, them skunks.

I've sent my out men to hunt them folks down,
We'll pull them all in before it's gets dark.
A smile on my face will replace this frown,
Solving this crime is walk in the park.
Don't you all be dismayed, ‘cos we gonna win,
George W Bush demands revenge for this sin!

The folks who done this, well they is just scum,
But listen, we comin' after you bums!

Thank you all folks, it's been real nice.
Now where's that Condoleeza Rice?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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