Medium Reveals All Of Hell Is A No Smoking Zone

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

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There are no cigarettes in Hell, smokers will have cravings for eternity and will never be able to light up.

If you think you might go to Satan's fiery place instead of Heaven when you die, you better light up your cigarette now because all of Hell is a no smoking zone.

Mysterious medium Maria Duval said she was in contact with the spirit of famed Roger Vivier, an enthusiastic smoker who designed many of the popular stiletto heel styles of the 1950s.

In a letter on her blog, Duval told her fans about the new discovery.

"Roger actually spoke to me in one of my dreams. He is incredibly sad and wishes he had never started smoking. He wants people to know the anguish of being in Hell and the unbearable agony of knowing you will be craving a cigarette for all of eternity."

In response to her fans, Duval divulged more details about the no smoking ban in Hell.

"I don't want to scare people, but it's not an actual ban: there is no smoking in Hell because there is nothing there but tormented souls, lakes of fire and bad air. Where will you get a cigarette in a place like this? All you can do is scream in agony along with the other condemned souls. There is no water and no food, many souls will eat excrement to pass the eternity of time."

Skeptics have long contended that Duval died decades ago and her persona is used to scam money from her true believers. However in the latest blog post, Duval revealed details that only someone alive today would know, therefore proving she is still among the living.

In an interesting turn, Shelley Duvall, no relation to Maria Duval, will play the famous medium in an upcoming film directed by Steven Spielberg.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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