Auntie Jean Advises A. Nellie Retentive, Pensioner From Scunthorpe

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

image for Auntie Jean Advises A. Nellie Retentive, Pensioner From Scunthorpe

Nellie Asks:
Auntie, I have received my D.A.B. 3D digital radio from the internet which arrived on a low loader this morning. I would appreciate a little help with tuning it as the instructions are inadequately translated from Mandarin Chinese. It has what it describes as a 2.3 metre plasma screen.

I had to cut a hole in my trailer park home to get it in. It keeps blowing the park substation but my son has put a nail into the fusebox instead of a fuse and it doesn't blow now, although random trailers now burst into flame in the night. I think the price of £18,000 was very high, but I want to listen to BBC radio Goole and have been advised by Comet that non-digital transmissions need a 250 metre analogue arial. Can you help with the installation set up please?
Love, Nellie. C/o Trailer 47a, Ocean View Trailer Park, Scunthorpe, CNT 2RS

Auntie Jean Replies:
Nellie, I don't have the resources to provide technical support for Charsui Television P.L.C. But I don't think you need to worry. When a terrifying gang steals your plasma T.V. tonight ( they are usually very prompt) tell them that if they get you a D.A.B. radio by tomorrow everything will be cool as you have connections with Bejing Tong ganglords.
I hope this helps.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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