Funny story written by walter

Wednesday, 7 December 2011


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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William Blake, 1757-1827, wrote: 'TIGER, tiger…Did He who made the lamb make thee?' From time immemorial until the present, we have frequently heard the stories of the kings and the subjects, stories of war and peace, etc. People, following leaders, have killed or been killed.

Any average manager or platoon leader knows that his men only obey the commander when the followers' personal objectives, including their life, are not jeopardized. Of course, some leaders fail to see the delicate line between organization's objectives and personal interests. However, politicians have chosen to be deceptive, cunning, lying, dishonest, etc, while the followers remain to be stupid, dim-witted, exploiters, etc. Is it the stupidity of the mob that turns the politicians deceptive or is it an innate characteristic? Mathematically, the sum of dishonesty and stupidity divided by two is what we see around us.

Metaphorically speaking, the whole earth can be compared to a vipers' pit filled with the same species that once boarded Noah's Ark. From the bottom of the oceans to the top of the mountains, animals follow one fixed life pattern: birth, growth, reproduction and death. During their life, the rule of tiger-lamb is tightly pursued, i. e., the stronger swallow the weaker, thus making all live animals' life tense.

The pit, in fact, resembles a fermentation tank. Living animals, including man, first reside on the top layer. Man uses bones and ribs or other similar materials to make their shelters, like beavers. The rich use ivory tusks; the poor, ribs and broken bones. Of all animals, none eats a fellow species, while man not only kills other animals, but also he looks for any excuse to destroy another human being in order to posses the victim's ivory tusks or his thighbones. Below this surface, stands the devouring level. Under the devouring level stands the fermentation layer, comprised of the entire world's corps, constantly fermenting and releasing gases.

Before the discovery of the brain-secreted-analgesic hormone called dopamine, man had discovered the effect of opium and the like to ease his pain. The second discovery was sex. Both gifts were easily reachable. When walking or working, he lights a cigarette. When at home, he resorts to sex. He does not care that his creators wanted him to constantly reproduce. Never asks why. He cannot live without sex and narcotics.

Before the advent of Hollywood movies, men used to go to their community temples where their favorite idols sat in the niches exposing their cleavages and 'straight leg, and quivering thighs'. The temple was filled with incense fumes. They sat cross-legged on the floor and were imbued with various effects. Then, they left the temple with vivid mental pictures. In bed, sleeping next to their partner, they turned on the images and climbed the ladder to apex.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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