Dear me,
I can't remember your name, dear, but never mind. It's me, your Auntie.
How are you doing? I'm not too bad. The operation went well but I still can't walk straight. I'll send you some photographs once the swelling has gone down a bit.
Last week I had a terrible shock at the bingo, I won £10. I had a slap-up dinner of pork scratchings that night, let me tell you.
I've nearly saved up enough money for a holiday now, but I can't decide where to go. I had my heart set on Somalia, but what will all the piracy and murders and the like I think Eastbourne might be better.
I've included some of my clippings for your collection. I hope they're long enough, but I usually wax that area.
Lots of love,
Auntie Septic
PS. Your family all died in a freak tractor accident.
