Written by Lady Godiva

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

image for Ena Sharples' Spirit And Others Detected In The Rovers Return
Coronation Street's cobbles

Paranormalists were called to the set of Coronation street last night. A particular area of interest, The Rovers Return.

Voices had been heard in the bar, long after closing time but when investigated by the residents, nothing and no-one could be seen so the Paranormalists were called in to investigate.

Delicate equipment was set up discretely during the day and left running overnight.

Much to the delight and surprise of 'everyone' the tapes revealed that some of the spirits of old cast members were indeed visiting The Rovers.

On the first tape viewed the following morning, Ena Sharples could clearly be seen. After adjusting her hairnet and folding her arms under her ample bosom she began talking to her friends, Martha Longhirst and Minnie Caldwell, all sitting around a small table each in front of a half pint of milk stout.

Ena was, as unsual, the outspoken one, complaining about how much The Street had changed since the old days.

"Tarts on The Street showing all they've got and more. Disgusting! Barmaids showing off chests...it's a wonder they don't all catch colds. It was never like that in our day. Oh no! Annie would NEVER have allowed that."

Martha and Minnie sat, taking the occasional sip of their milk stout and hanging on to Ena's every word. Giving the occasional nod and murmur of agreement.

"And babies....babies popping out here there and everywhere. These days you can't keep up with whose having 'you know what' with 'who knows who' and 'who knows where'.

Also, how many husbands has that Gail woman had up to now? And don't talk to me about her floozy mother Audrey.

I got all mixed up with that Michelle's family, Liam and Carla and the others. You just can't keep the storylines in your head. Too complicated for me, aye lasses.I'll tell yer that fer nowt.

You need a University education to follow the stories nowadays and in our day, Ken Barlow was the only one of us to 'ave one if memory serves me right.

Aah! well ladies...Sup up! See yer tomorra"

"Tara Ena," said Minnie in a quiet voice, "I must go and fee Blackie. He's been on his own too long aready."

"Tara," said Martha, "See you later. 'Ang on whilst I finish me last drop o' stout"

The tape ended there but with a promise of more to come.

Everyone was excited to have seen and heard the spirits of some original cast members and to hear their thoughts on today's Corrie. Most of them only knew Ena and her friends from old tapes of Corrie that they had watched. They look forward to seeing and hearing more of the older cast members with the help of the Paranormalists

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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