Chapter 29:

Funny story written by masterchev

Friday, 5 November 2010

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The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Jean La Fete entered the TARDIS once again, watching as the old team of renegade Spoofers was assembled around the control panel. He watched as Morse, fully equipped with his pirate hat, observed as Charpa wrapped another fishnet stocking around her first. He watched as Skoob adjusted his pork pie hat whilst Jaggedone painted red tribal paint on his face.

Carina watched Jean's reaction as he observed the scene of the Spoof Writers assembled for one last dashing adventure into the TARDIS.

"How much of what happened was real?" Jean asked Carina as Masterchev hurried past carrying a collection of scones.

"Some of it was. You really were in Buenos Aries and Mogadishu. When the lights went out near Bolivia, you were captured by the Orb and trapped within the Circles of Hell. The Oracle of Spoofs never was Queen Mudder, or maybe that should be not just her. It's in all of us."

Jean stared in confusion as Carina grabbed his hand. She placed it on her own heart, then clicked her fingers to the shut the doors.

"Enough of the romantic shit Martin, let's cut to the crap!" Morse yelled from behind the controls.


"Where are we going?" Jean said, fingers trembling at the prospect of this new found love.

"Bolivia. We're going to be crossing our own timeline to change the future. It's the only way we're going to be set free," Skoob grinned, then slapped himself in the face. "Did anyone tell you that the wife watched all this on Masterchev, I mean chef?"

"Hang on. What are you doing?" Jean yelled, but was drowned out as in unity the Spoof writers flicked switches on the time console.

The scanner above revealed how they were hurtling towards a small Bolivian town somewhere. The ship skimmed over the ocean; hurtling towards a small shanty town near the sea.

"It'll all be okay Jean, I promise," Carina promised, before he felt a stabbing pain in his neck. He caught sight of himself in the looking glass of the machine, and noticed the needle of anaesthetic which had just been inserted into him.

"What... are... you.... doing?" Jean yelled, aware that his body was becoming numb due to the drugs.

Nobody spoke for a second. As Jean slumped slowly to the ground, he noticed the large orange orb bouncing slowly towards a small canteen. It grew in his line of vision as he lay half paralysed on the time machine floor.

"We're creating a Big Bang Jean. Something to undo Mark's plans. And I'm sorry, but this is the reason I brought you here in the first place. It was always you Jean," Carina whispered as Doomsday approached. A bright orange light seared through the scanner, engulfing the writers before all hell broke loose.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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