Confessions of a Lobbyist

Funny story written by UWGB-Beek

Thursday, 28 October 2010

Washington -- Dick Gephardt is enjoying the good life of getting rich off big corporations. He is a lobbyist for Gephardt Group, which he started after he left Congress in 2005.

"I love being a lobbyists, because I can hangout with my old pals in Congress. I don't have to pretend to care about America, and big companies pay me lots of money to exploit American workers." Mr. Gephardt told a group of lobbyist at his dinner to raise money for clean coal technology.

"My latest gem is the clean coal idea I am trying to sell to Congress. Clean coal, what kind of idiot thought this up? But it is working." Mr. Gephardt added.

Lobbyist are getting a bad rap from President Obama, but his criticism only seems to be feeding the lobbyist beast. Lobbyist are spending more money and their numbers in Washington keep growing.

"When I started as a lobbyist I wanted to stay away from shady businesses, but that soon stopped after I realized that I wouldn't make a lot of money doing honest work. I guess I should have remembered that from my days in Congress." Mr. Gephardt told the lobbyist.

As a lobbyist, Mr. Gephardt worked for Goldman Sachs, Peabody Energy, and UnitedHealth Group. These groups are responsible for a lot of the woes that Americans are feeling right now.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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