A host of civic dignitaries, including the Lord Mayor of Dorking and the President of the Licensed Victuallers Association turned out this afternoon at the new Trashco supermarket on Asda Road to unveil the brand new high tech self service checkout line.
Vernon Adcock, the town's first outed gay mayor, looking radiant in a pastel pink suit with matching frilly shirt which he had knocked up on a recent business trip to Bangkok, said that the self service checkout line would provide a huge boost for the town's gay community, as they would no longer have to listen to snide remarks from checkout girls. Whose boyfriends were probably homophobic hoodies anyway.
Store manager, Reg Jobsworth welcomed the new hi-tech self service checkout line, principally because it meant that he could sack checkout girl, Germolina Coldsore, 56, who it seems would insist on passing critical remarks about female customers, despite having a rather prominent moustache herself.
Store detective, Vic Vaporub remained unconvinced by the technological advances being made in retail customer dispersal and said that he'd be watching the new hi-tech self-service checkout line, "like a f**king hawk."
Some uncertainty ensued, as nobody knew exactly how the new hi-tech self-service checkout line actually worked, and nobody could remember where the instruction manual was.
Reg Jobsworth instructed a junior shelf stacker to cordon off the new hi-tech self service checkout line until somebody figured out how to operate it.
"We do know that you pass purchases over the scanner, one at a time, and then make your payment by card or in cash," he told us. "But we're not quite sure how it works yet."
More when it comes into service.
