Before the Next Teardrop Falls'- part I‎

Funny story written by walter

Saturday, 26 June 2010

Freddy Fender's (1937 - 2006) song 'Before the Next Teardrop Falls', 1975, ‎immediately took off in popularity in 1975. The song ascended to No. 1 on the ‎Billboard magazine Hot Country Singles chart. At that time, the world was at ‎peace. But in reality, it was 'calm before the storm'.‎

Some say the only warrior who could capture Afghanistan is Genghis Khan, ‎‎1162-1227, Mongol conqueror. Now that Gen. Stanly McChrystal is relieved, can ‎his successors implement COIN, counterinsurgency, and achieve 'victory'?‎

Now, in retrospect we may infer that all began in Afghanistan: Collapse of USSR. ‎On 18 July 1973, Lt. Gen. Daoud Khan, cousin to the king of Afghanistan, a ‎peaceful country at his time, and a group of young military officers deposed King ‎Zaher Shah in favor of a Republic. In this Republic, he was both president and ‎prime minister. A reform program began. In 1976, a new democratic constitution ‎was undergoing its final stages of development. ‎

As time went on, Daoud Khan found out he could not trust Moscow and his own ‎officers. Therefore, he turned for help to Moslem countries: Kuwait, Egypt, Saudi ‎Arabia and Shah of Iran. It was too late. He, his whole family, and aids were all ‎bullet-riddled. It was the 1st teardrop.‎

‎1978, Noor Mohammed Taraki, a Marxist, took over. This pro-communist ‎socialist party, PDPA, decided to abolish usury, ban forced marriages, allow ‎women's rights to vote, replace religious and traditional laws with secular and ‎Marxist ones, abolish tribal courts, and perform land reform. [Compare with ‎COIN, McChrystal's strategy: "...to take back havens from the Taliban ‎commanders in southern and western Afghanistan, where shadow insurgent ‎governors collect taxes and run court systems based on Islamic sharia law." ‎‎"Af/Pak" News, Friday June 25th 2010]‎

In Sept. 1979, Taraki was killed and Hafizullah Amin took power. Shortly ‎thereafter, the USSR invaded Afghanistan. Amin was executed. Soviets installed ‎Babrak Karmal as president. It was the 2nd teardrop.‎

The Soviet stayed in Afghanistan for 10 years, this was named as USSR's ‎Vietnam. During this period, Soviets were dragged into guerrilla warfare with ‎mujahedin, "holy Muslim warriors", supported by American CIA, Pakistan, a ‎wealthy Saudi named Osama bin Laden and Saudi Arabia.‎

In February 1989, Soviet Union withdrew its troops. Their proxy government ‎steadily lost ground to the guerrilla forces. (to be continued)‎

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot