It don't get that easily wetted

Funny story written by walter

Thursday, 3 December 2009

The word 'brash' implies strong impetuousness, seen in people who have no remorse for cheating or committing crimes. Sadly, Nature has endowed the brazen with another trait: aggression, or rather the continuum of the biblical story of Abel and Cain.

It seems when such a person joins a cult, he or she remains there until death do them part! To have a tighter control over its followers, the cult always demands members to participate in mass prayers. Undoubtedly such a mass prayer requires a conductor or rather a leader.

Off course, cults are not run in the same manner all over the world. Consequently, the cult herein uses verses taken directly from an old script, the pronunciation and the intonation of which are not learned by the majority of its followers. To prevent the embarrassment due to funny mispronunciations, the cult assigns a coordinator who in time announces the required movements such as, 'prostrate'.

Recently, a prayer leader at a city unexpectedly announced that he would no longer conduct the future mass prayers! The reasons he provided were: 'Mass prayers' are meant to communicate with God, through a prayer leader, in order for God to alleviate people's hardship.' He continued, "If the leader is pious, then the All Mighty will answer the peoples' prayers. Otherwise, people's hardship will keep piling up which happens to be our case here. Therefore, why should I futilely go on and let your requests fall on a deaf ear. I quit as of now."

Incidentally, those words reached heaven and jolted the All Mighty on his rickety rocker, but, on the planet earth, it took the supreme cult leader by surprise. One paper, out of 100 parrot papers, announced that the prayer leader badly needed some time to study before taking the qualification exam needed to become a mass prayer leader. Oops! Another, paper attributed the leader's decision to a doctor's order.

The omniscient God, who has long lost interest in the affairs of his topsy-turvy- out-of-control creatures on earth, sat idly watching his AWACS screen. But the unexpected change of heart by a disqualified prayer leader sparkled a light of hope in the All Mighty. Therefore, He summoned His chief of secret agent who strolled toward Him in the manner of Vladimir Putin's way of walking. The agent said:
- Al, (a diminutive for Arabic 'Al Barakah', the blessing), did you wanna see me?
- If I may, yes. What caused this change of heart in this rascal?
- Well, you know, these mother …, due to a severe drought, got pretty disenchanted with their forward progress, you know what I mean. The confused Al enquired:
- Is it hard for our HAARP people to send them some free-of-charge magnetic moisture? The embarrassed agent replied:
- You see 'Al, they normally circumcise their newly born females at infancy. Therefore, it don't get that easily wetted.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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