Bordello Falls ~ An Interlude

Funny story written by birbee

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

image for Bordello Falls ~ An Interlude

Norton Folgate strode confidently, some may say arrogantly, into town as the midday sun burned down from the clear blue sky, his Top Hat perched at a jaunty angle on his head.
He didn't care if people thought him arrogant, he was confident of that.

There seemed to be a kind of hush all over the town tonight, a strange kind of hush and one that Norton Folgate couldn't quite put his arrogant confident finger on.

But it was there all the same. It was such a hush, you could almost hear it.

Then he noticed the lack of folk in the main street of the god forsaken town he had entered and wondered where they all were, and where indeed he was.

The sign he had just passed bore the legend 'Bordello Falls', but someone, or something, had struck a line through the word 'Falls' and had scrawled in what looked like faeces, 'Fell'.

Suddenly he heard a shuffling noise coming from the shadows to his left and even more suddenly a dark hunched hooded figure appeared from his right.

"Turn and flee, "the figure whispered, "Flee I tell thee, flee."
With that, the figure was gone, but not before Folgate noticed he was dressed in what appeared to be priests garb, all black with the exception of a white Dog Collar.

Ignoring the obviously insane creature, Folgate strode along the deserted street wondering how he had gotton here since leaving home district of Clerkenwell that very same day.
He didn't wonder for long, however, as a tram nearly knocked him off his feet.

The strange thing was, he never noticed the tram approaching and now it had totally disappeared, tram tracks and all, leaving merely a rapidly diminishing cloud of dust.

Tumbleweed blew across the street.

As he turned a corner he saw a commotion outside what appeared to have once been a Tavern.
The sign hanging from a single chain at approximately the same angle as his Top Hat claimed that this was the infamous 'Oasis Saloon', owned by the formidable Madam Bitters and once frequented by the fallen from grace Sheriff El Skoobio, The Twins and The Doc amongst others, including table 9's resident occupant, The Codemaker (AKA Morse).

Norton Folgate approached warily and wearily, having been on his feet since the death of his horse, and slipped quietly through the throng only to see two brutal looking badasses, still astride their steeds, in the middle of the bar.

To one side of the pair was a wealthy looking man resplendent in a twenty gallon hat, which was far too big for his five gallon hat, looking somewhat perplexed at the fact that there were two horses in the bar and not in the smoking room where animals were permitted.

In a corner, just getting back to his feet was a man dressed from head to toe in red. Even his head was red. A red head, thought Folgate reminiscing back to the last time he had fornicated, but then he realised the man was covered in his own, or someone elses, blood and it was only his shirt that was red, a large number seven on the back.

It was then that the strange priestly figure that Norton Folgate had seen earlier reappeared beside him and he looked down and suddenly recognised him from a time many moons ago when they had both been at sea together.

That however is, and was, another story, and one that Folgate had no wish to reflect upon as he spent the entire length of that story hiding in the hold in a place so dark that even the various authors didn't know of his exsistence.

"You???" stammered Folgate.

"Me" replied the diminutive priest.

Norton Folgate fled but as he left his trusty chainsaw slipped from his pocket, some might say accidently, others say it may have been a deliberate act, and lay under one of the broken tables in the bar, hidden from everyone's view.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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