Never Aired Interview of Elizabeth Taylor

Funny story written by Nailer

Friday, 17 July 2009


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We have obtained a copy of a taped interview of Elizabeth Taylor by Larry King. Sources say King journeyed to Los Angeles California for what he said was the greatest interview of his entire career.

That prompts us to ask, "Bigger than the Pope, the President, Mother Teresa?

Apparently so as Larry appeared a bit on edge and had donned a sport jacket before Liz came onto the set. That's right, a damn coat. What next, Fidel Castro in a dress uniform?

When Ms Taylor came onto the set she appeared to stumble as she walked and some thought her drunk. She sat down heavily in the chair and mumbled some comment about the supply of liquor being inadequate. Larry immediately had a drink provided and Ms Taylor calmed down somewhat and began to flirt with some of the off camera crew.

Larry started with praise of her performances in memorable movies and then commented on her rich and varied married life. At first somewhat reserved with good words for all the ex-husbands the booze took over and she began to let loose with embarrassing outbursts.

"Damn, I had quite a time", she said. "I've seen enough erect penises to form a picket fence; a fine fence it was too. Of course some of the wood in some pickets were better than the wood in others."

Larry then asked, "Which one was the real love of your life?"

"Well none of those really", she said. "My greatest happiness came when I was with Michael Jackson!"
Incredulous Larry asked, "Michael Jackson, the King of Pop?"

Liz let out a loud "Ha" and then said, "He was King of Pop all right. When he dressed up like Peter Pan and me like Cleopatra we would go for hours."

"You're telling me that you and Michael made love for hours?", asked Larry.

Liz replied, "Mostly he did the work Larry". She took another long pull on her drink and leaned over towards Larry and said, "Nobody, absolutely nobody could eat pussy like Michael Jackson".

Larry was staring wide eyed as she continued, "He got better over the years. With his nose getting smaller and smaller he increased his reach. He told me he used to do tongue stretching exercises. Let me tell you, I have experienced a moon walk like no one else on this Earth".

Our copy of the tape ends abruptly at this point. However; after this tape was seen by others rumors have began to circulate that Ms Taylor was with Michael at the time of his death. Further that he had suffocated while being held down in the nether regions by her as she screamed with delight. Others have alleged that deprivation of vital oxygen may have been exacerbated by anal flatulence during cunnilingus.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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